Arguing over bf's (24m) family comments to my guests and I (22f)

My bf and I have known each other for a while, dated for a year. His family came over to my house for a holiday party with my family members and mutual friends of my bf's over. Over the course of the night they said quite a few inappropriate jokes basing around my family's race, weight, me, etc. Not cool, so since they were coming over again I asked my bf to say, "Hey, some things were said and it was really uncomfortable. Lets keep it light and fun." Some things aren't joke material, and those were.... all of them.

I don't want to dice up the situation but essentially it boils down to: they don't see what the big deal is, it's not their fault people were offended, I'm overreacting, and my other guests need to be ready for the adult world. My other guests are very much adults and most certainly did not want to come to a party just to feel uncomfortable. It became a disagreement between my boyfriend and his family when he prepped them before coming to my house, so the two of us called them just to clear the air and talk it out. We call, they yell at us and a lot of hurtful things were said. We couldn't get a word in edgewise besides "we just don't want it to happen again" and " it's water under the bridge."

I'm dumbfounded. I've never had a problem with them before and I've never been talked to like this before. My bf is understandably upset, my family is angry but still willing to talk things through. I just don't know where to go from here. His family doesn't want to see us anymore. FYI: There was no drinking at this party.

Tl:dr; Bf's family made innappropriate jokes about myself, my family, and weight in a room of guests where that is a sore subject. When asked to not do it again, they reacted by yelling and insuling me, my guests, and my family.

Submitted December 25, 2019 at 12:18AM

My bf and I have known each other for a while, dated for a year. His family came over to my house for a holiday party with my family members and mutual friends of my bf's over. Over the course of the night they said quite a few inappropriate jokes basing around my family's race, weight, me, etc. Not cool, so since they were coming over again I asked my bf to say, "Hey, some things were said and it was really uncomfortable. Lets keep it light and fun." Some things aren't joke material, and those were.... all of them.I don't want to dice up the situation but essentially it boils down to: they don't see what the big deal is, it's not their fault people were offended, I'm overreacting, and my other guests need to be ready for the adult world. My other guests are very much adults and most certainly did not want to come to a party just to feel uncomfortable. It became a disagreement between my boyfriend and his family when he prepped them before coming to my house, so the two of us called them just to clear the air and talk it out. We call, they yell at us and a lot of hurtful things were said. We couldn't get a word in edgewise besides "we just don't want it to happen again" and " it's water under the bridge."I'm dumbfounded. I've never had a problem with them before and I've never been talked to like this before. My bf is understandably upset, my family is angry but still willing to talk things through. I just don't know where to go from here. His family doesn't want to see us anymore. FYI: There was no drinking at this party.Tl:dr; Bf's family made innappropriate jokes about myself, my family, and weight in a room of guests where that is a sore subject. When asked to not do it again, they reacted by yelling and insuling me, my guests, and my family.