Should I tell this girl I love her to help myself get over her?

There have been longer posts, but regardless, thank you for taking the time to read this. It means a lot.

This girl I’ve been seeing for 2-3 months just ended things with me. She was on the fence about doing it because she really likes me but doesn’t want a relationship, and she knows that I do.

I had fallen in love with her, and haven’t told her. If I did, it would drive her away. Here’s why:

She hates herself when she’s in a relationship. During a relationship or when she feel some coming, she becomes irritable and resents the person she’s dating, and doesn’t know why. She especially resented me, she says, because she is seriously falling for me. The closer she felt to me, the meaner and more critical she was toward me, and then the more stressed and guilty she felt about it. She knows it’s a serious problem of her own, and doesn’t know if she’s capable of a relationship. She has mentioned therapy for this issue, which I think would certainly help. And despite all that, she still spent time with me because of how much she likes me and how sweet to her I was (and I seriously was). She says I’ve done nothing wrong, at all. This all came from her.

Now I feel like I want to tell her I love her. If I did, that would definitely drive her away, and I’d have no choice but to get over it faster. And it would also be a big weight off of me too, because I’ve been keeping it in for a while. If I don’t tell her, idk nothing happens, but I’ll constantly feel like reaching out to her and it’ll be way shittier for me.

She is an incredible girl. Our personalities clicked insanely well, we were both really, really attracted to one another, and we had incredible sex. Same sense of humor, similar beliefs, you name it, we had it. Neither of us also want to get married and we’re both independent and career-oriented. Also both great communicators, open and mature, and we were very happy with each other aside from her one issue with relationships.

We really are perfect for each other in so many ways. It really is a fucking shame she feels like she can’t date me. I am so sad about it. We didn’t even see each other very long, idk what has gotten into me.

Is it worth telling her I love her, for my own sake? Or should I not, suck it up, and one day in the future maybe she’ll want to try again? Please help and thank you, again.

TL;DR: Girl broke things off because she knows I want a relationship and she doesn’t, so now I want to tell her I love her to put the nail in the coffin—should I?

Submitted December 14, 2019 at 12:06AM

There have been longer posts, but regardless, thank you for taking the time to read this. It means a lot.This girl I’ve been seeing for 2-3 months just ended things with me. She was on the fence about doing it because she really likes me but doesn’t want a relationship, and she knows that I do.I had fallen in love with her, and haven’t told her. If I did, it would drive her away. Here’s why:She hates herself when she’s in a relationship. During a relationship or when she feel some coming, she becomes irritable and resents the person she’s dating, and doesn’t know why. She especially resented me, she says, because she is seriously falling for me. The closer she felt to me, the meaner and more critical she was toward me, and then the more stressed and guilty she felt about it. She knows it’s a serious problem of her own, and doesn’t know if she’s capable of a relationship. She has mentioned therapy for this issue, which I think would certainly help. And despite all that, she still spent time with me because of how much she likes me and how sweet to her I was (and I seriously was). She says I’ve done nothing wrong, at all. This all came from her.Now I feel like I want to tell her I love her. If I did, that would definitely drive her away, and I’d have no choice but to get over it faster. And it would also be a big weight off of me too, because I’ve been keeping it in for a while. If I don’t tell her, idk nothing happens, but I’ll constantly feel like reaching out to her and it’ll be way shittier for me.She is an incredible girl. Our personalities clicked insanely well, we were both really, really attracted to one another, and we had incredible sex. Same sense of humor, similar beliefs, you name it, we had it. Neither of us also want to get married and we’re both independent and career-oriented. Also both great communicators, open and mature, and we were very happy with each other aside from her one issue with relationships.We really are perfect for each other in so many ways. It really is a fucking shame she feels like she can’t date me. I am so sad about it. We didn’t even see each other very long, idk what has gotten into me.Is it worth telling her I love her, for my own sake? Or should I not, suck it up, and one day in the future maybe she’ll want to try again? Please help and thank you, again.TL;DR: Girl broke things off because she knows I want a relationship and she doesn’t, so now I want to tell her I love her to put the nail in the coffin—should I?