I [21M] need some advice about my sex life with my girlfriend [19F]

I have been together with my girlfriend for almost 2.5 years now. She's my first serious relationship and i'm her second. Although she doesn't have any sexual experience from her previous relationship.
We have a semi-long distance relationship. about 2 hours away from eachother. We see eachother around 2-3 weekends a month. We also videocall almost every day.
In the beginning of our relationship we were figuring things out about sex. Things were great to be honest. We both initiated about the same amount of times when we saw eachother. We we're quite intimate i would say. She was never really someone that wanted to try new things. It took some time for her to even agree to anything other than missionary. This was kind of difficult for me because i really wanted to explore a bit more. Eventually she agreed to different positions and to me giving her oral sex. The first few times she really liked it, and asked me for it maybe 5 times more after that. Then suddenly she didn't want it anymore, even with me offering and reassuring her that i like to do it and want her to get pleasure from it. I've asked her to perform oral sex on me aswell. She really didn't want to try it. However one time she offered it herself and it was really amazing, i've told her that many times. It never happened again after that, even after asking her about it every now and then. (this happened about 1.5 years in.
She eventually started by asking me obscene amounts of money to do it (jokingly) because she doesn't want to do it. However this started to really irritate me, as it is something i'd like more of in this relationship.

Now for the last 1.5 year things have started going downhill. She almost never initiates anymore. Does not want to try new things, i've asked her to try many different things like in different places, different actions/positions but she turns everything down. Me offering her oral sex, she always turns that down. She tells me she doesn't like it that much, but i have a feeling she turns it down because she feels obliged to give me oral sex aswell. I've told her she doesn't have to but she still doesn't accept my offers.

In the first year of your relationship we would regularly have sex, i've always got her to orgasm aswell. Exept for when she wasn't in the mood for it. Which is fine ofcourse.
Now the past months she seems to not pay that much attention to me in a sensual way. when we're kissing its almost always a maximum of 3 kisses and she pulls away, she still enjoys being around me and watching netflix and cuddling. But the sexual aspect seems to become less and less there. We still have sex maybe 1 out of 2 weekends that we see eachother. But only if i initiate and i kind of have to beg for it. She tells me she wants to do things or promises me stuff before i come over but then a lot of times comes up with an excuse last minute. This really gets me angry sometimes.

We have had quite some fights the last year about all this, always coming from my side. She says she wants to change and wants to put effort into it but its only getting worse and worse.

I'm really lost at what to do. Emotionally we're a perfect match and i'm very happy to be in a relationship with her, she feels the same way. We have 100% trust in eachother and we're both committed to make this last. However the lack of sex and all the experiences that i feel i'm missing out on are really making this difficult for me. I've always seen sex as something great and something i want to enjoy a lot. I just have a feeling we're really not sexually compatible and i'm not sure if i can make it last in a long term relationship.

Thank you for reading, i know there's not a lot of structure in my story but i hope its clear enough. I just had to write this out for myself. Any advice is very much appericiated.

Submitted December 14, 2019 at 12:13AM

I have been together with my girlfriend for almost 2.5 years now. She's my first serious relationship and i'm her second. Although she doesn't have any sexual experience from her previous relationship.We have a semi-long distance relationship. about 2 hours away from eachother. We see eachother around 2-3 weekends a month. We also videocall almost every day.In the beginning of our relationship we were figuring things out about sex. Things were great to be honest. We both initiated about the same amount of times when we saw eachother. We we're quite intimate i would say. She was never really someone that wanted to try new things. It took some time for her to even agree to anything other than missionary. This was kind of difficult for me because i really wanted to explore a bit more. Eventually she agreed to different positions and to me giving her oral sex. The first few times she really liked it, and asked me for it maybe 5 times more after that. Then suddenly she didn't want it anymore, even with me offering and reassuring her that i like to do it and want her to get pleasure from it. I've asked her to perform oral sex on me aswell. She really didn't want to try it. However one time she offered it herself and it was really amazing, i've told her that many times. It never happened again after that, even after asking her about it every now and then. (this happened about 1.5 years in.She eventually started by asking me obscene amounts of money to do it (jokingly) because she doesn't want to do it. However this started to really irritate me, as it is something i'd like more of in this relationship.Now for the last 1.5 year things have started going downhill. She almost never initiates anymore. Does not want to try new things, i've asked her to try many different things like in different places, different actions/positions but she turns everything down. Me offering her oral sex, she always turns that down. She tells me she doesn't like it that much, but i have a feeling she turns it down because she feels obliged to give me oral sex aswell. I've told her she doesn't have to but she still doesn't accept my offers.In the first year of your relationship we would regularly have sex, i've always got her to orgasm aswell. Exept for when she wasn't in the mood for it. Which is fine ofcourse.Now the past months she seems to not pay that much attention to me in a sensual way. when we're kissing its almost always a maximum of 3 kisses and she pulls away, she still enjoys being around me and watching netflix and cuddling. But the sexual aspect seems to become less and less there. We still have sex maybe 1 out of 2 weekends that we see eachother. But only if i initiate and i kind of have to beg for it. She tells me she wants to do things or promises me stuff before i come over but then a lot of times comes up with an excuse last minute. This really gets me angry sometimes.We have had quite some fights the last year about all this, always coming from my side. She says she wants to change and wants to put effort into it but its only getting worse and worse.I'm really lost at what to do. Emotionally we're a perfect match and i'm very happy to be in a relationship with her, she feels the same way. We have 100% trust in eachother and we're both committed to make this last. However the lack of sex and all the experiences that i feel i'm missing out on are really making this difficult for me. I've always seen sex as something great and something i want to enjoy a lot. I just have a feeling we're really not sexually compatible and i'm not sure if i can make it last in a long term relationship.Thank you for reading, i know there's not a lot of structure in my story but i hope its clear enough. I just had to write this out for myself. Any advice is very much appericiated.