I (46F) think I ruined my marriage because of a stupid mistake.

I met Daniel (47) 25 years ago and from the moment I've seen him I was in love with him . He is a kind , smart and funny man. We married 20 years ago , worked hard to buy our own house and had 3 kids (19m, 16f and 10f) . Daniel has always had a job where he had to travel around half of the year . We missed a lot of anniversaries, Christmas and birthday parties . It was hard at the beginnig but I got used to it and I like to have my own space sometimes .

Two months ago I started a really big project at the company I work for with a coworker named Alex. This required me to work with him 8 hours a day and I will also go to his house on the weekends . He is married with two kids and this meeting at his house happened ONLY when his wife was home to not raise any suspicions. This means I saw him everyday for the last 2 months . Nothing ever happened between us and we kept our relationship professional .

My husband has been gone for 4 months and came home last night . After a nice dinner we went to bed and started to have sex. At some point , I don't know why , I called him Alex instead of Daniel. I was such an idiot and honestly I don't know why this happened, maybe because I was tired or maybe because I spent the last 2 months seeing him everyday. Daniel was really shocked , he got dressed and went to sleep on the couch . I tried to talk to him and apologise but he told me that we will talk in the morning.

We talked after he woke up ( I couldn't sleep the entire night) and I explained why this happened and I will never cheat on him . I also showed him all of my conversation on the phone with Alex , which consisted only in texts about our project . He is an incredible man and we have a great sex life so cheating on him wouldn't make any sense. He said that he will think about the whole situation and he will stay with his parents at the moment.

Tl;dr I feel like shit and I can't stop crying. We have our 20 years anniversary next month and we planned a vacation just the two of us . I am really afraid that I ruined everything because of a stupid mistake . What can I do?



Submitted December 16, 2019 at 12:33AM

I met Daniel (47) 25 years ago and from the moment I've seen him I was in love with him . He is a kind , smart and funny man. We married 20 years ago , worked hard to buy our own house and had 3 kids (19m, 16f and 10f) . Daniel has always had a job where he had to travel around half of the year . We missed a lot of anniversaries, Christmas and birthday parties . It was hard at the beginnig but I got used to it and I like to have my own space sometimes .Two months ago I started a really big project at the company I work for with a coworker named Alex. This required me to work with him 8 hours a day and I will also go to his house on the weekends . He is married with two kids and this meeting at his house happened ONLY when his wife was home to not raise any suspicions. This means I saw him everyday for the last 2 months . Nothing ever happened between us and we kept our relationship professional .My husband has been gone for 4 months and came home last night . After a nice dinner we went to bed and started to have sex. At some point , I don't know why , I called him Alex instead of Daniel. I was such an idiot and honestly I don't know why this happened, maybe because I was tired or maybe because I spent the last 2 months seeing him everyday. Daniel was really shocked , he got dressed and went to sleep on the couch . I tried to talk to him and apologise but he told me that we will talk in the morning.We talked after he woke up ( I couldn't sleep the entire night) and I explained why this happened and I will never cheat on him . I also showed him all of my conversation on the phone with Alex , which consisted only in texts about our project . He is an incredible man and we have a great sex life so cheating on him wouldn't make any sense. He said that he will think about the whole situation and he will stay with his parents at the moment.Tl;dr I feel like shit and I can't stop crying. We have our 20 years anniversary next month and we planned a vacation just the two of us . I am really afraid that I ruined everything because of a stupid mistake . What can I do?
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