What

Hello, first time posting. I read the community rules, so please let me know if I broke them. I apologize for the lack of detail, as I'd rather not have this traced back.

I (25M) have been friends with (24F) this woman for a while. I met her in post-graduate professional schooling. Our friend group is all professionals in the same school, same age group. Never thought about her in a romantic way, in fact she even started dating another guy in the group and when things went bad (on and off again) our group would do our best to give them space and be supportive. Fast forward our last year, the relationship is over. I got really close with her ex, and now we're great friends. He's moved on (I think, he still talks badly of her in conversations), and she's moved on also. She's dated other people and so has he. I have too, but I don't think that matters. They don't really hang out anymore and the group has pretty much splintered, with some of us trying to hang out with both groups still.

Lately I've been hanging out with her one-on-one more, and I think I'm developing feelings. I always thought she was amazing, intelligent, and beautiful, so much so that I just never thought I had a shot. We're seeing each other almost 3-4 times a week outside of school, doing everything from working out together to going out drinking together. I didn't think anything of it at first, but each time we hung out, we would get physically closer and closer. I even found myself initiating the physical contact more, which isn't normal for me. We're comfortable being close in front of our classmates, who can be real gossips in this industry, so I was caught off guard to say the least.

The Bed Debacles. I slept over at her place a couple of times after drinking. Once she brought me home because I was too drunk and depressed about other things; she was really supportive about it and really made me feel better. The second time I think I messed up. She fell asleep in her living room, and I tried to wake her up to get her to sleep in her bed, she didn't want to, so I got covers for her from her bed and then I passed out in her bed. She climbed into bed and I must have moved over to cuddle, she pushed me back to my side, and eventually it was morning and she asked me to leave, which I immediately did. I don't even know if it was because I wanted to cuddle her or if I'm just a general bed hog (I like to kick and shift around); what I know is I felt so embarrassed after I left. After I got home and went back to bed, I woke up and immediately and sent her an apology, and to my surprise she told me she wasn't mad and that she had fun that night. Both of us being in an ultra competitive post-grad professional school, we need our sleep and I understand that all too well. So now I feel like an idiot. She told me she was just sleep deprived. I was so relieved, but I'm also really confused now. I felt like I messed up, and that she's just being nice.

We made plans to hang out this weekend, which I hope pans out. She's invited me to hang out with her after this upcoming break, when her roommates are gone. We're going to a concert together later next month. The opportunities are there, I just don't know what to do.

These are my questions for you relationship sages:

• From her perspective, how would you react?
• Was I wrong to fall asleep in her bed without asking her?
• How would she perceive my apology?
• From her perspective, am I hurting her feelings by not making a move yet?
• Should I say something to the ex about my intentions, even if "nothing" happened yet?
• Am I setting myself up for heartbreak by focusing so hard on one woman?
• What should I do next?
• What are some things I shouldn't do that will definitely fuck things up?
• If I should make a move, how should I go about it?

TLDR;

Man meets woman in school, has feelings for her lately, she is signaling interest pretty hard, man is too much of a wuss to make a move, then man messed up a couple of times, apologized, woman tells man she isn't mad. Man is fearful of ramifications to friend group, particularly her ex who is his close friend. Man seeks advice on what to do next and how others would perceive this situation from each person's viewpoint. Relationship sages, refer to questions above.

Submitted November 16, 2019 at 12:10AM

Hello, first time posting. I read the community rules, so please let me know if I broke them. I apologize for the lack of detail, as I'd rather not have this traced back.I (25M) have been friends with (24F) this woman for a while. I met her in post-graduate professional schooling. Our friend group is all professionals in the same school, same age group. Never thought about her in a romantic way, in fact she even started dating another guy in the group and when things went bad (on and off again) our group would do our best to give them space and be supportive. Fast forward our last year, the relationship is over. I got really close with her ex, and now we're great friends. He's moved on (I think, he still talks badly of her in conversations), and she's moved on also. She's dated other people and so has he. I have too, but I don't think that matters. They don't really hang out anymore and the group has pretty much splintered, with some of us trying to hang out with both groups still.Lately I've been hanging out with her one-on-one more, and I think I'm developing feelings. I always thought she was amazing, intelligent, and beautiful, so much so that I just never thought I had a shot. We're seeing each other almost 3-4 times a week outside of school, doing everything from working out together to going out drinking together. I didn't think anything of it at first, but each time we hung out, we would get physically closer and closer. I even found myself initiating the physical contact more, which isn't normal for me. We're comfortable being close in front of our classmates, who can be real gossips in this industry, so I was caught off guard to say the least.The Bed Debacles. I slept over at her place a couple of times after drinking. Once she brought me home because I was too drunk and depressed about other things; she was really supportive about it and really made me feel better. The second time I think I messed up. She fell asleep in her living room, and I tried to wake her up to get her to sleep in her bed, she didn't want to, so I got covers for her from her bed and then I passed out in her bed. She climbed into bed and I must have moved over to cuddle, she pushed me back to my side, and eventually it was morning and she asked me to leave, which I immediately did. I don't even know if it was because I wanted to cuddle her or if I'm just a general bed hog (I like to kick and shift around); what I know is I felt so embarrassed after I left. After I got home and went back to bed, I woke up and immediately and sent her an apology, and to my surprise she told me she wasn't mad and that she had fun that night. Both of us being in an ultra competitive post-grad professional school, we need our sleep and I understand that all too well. So now I feel like an idiot. She told me she was just sleep deprived. I was so relieved, but I'm also really confused now. I felt like I messed up, and that she's just being nice.We made plans to hang out this weekend, which I hope pans out. She's invited me to hang out with her after this upcoming break, when her roommates are gone. We're going to a concert together later next month. The opportunities are there, I just don't know what to do.These are my questions for you relationship sages:From her perspective, how would you react?Was I wrong to fall asleep in her bed without asking her?How would she perceive my apology?From her perspective, am I hurting her feelings by not making a move yet?Should I say something to the ex about my intentions, even if "nothing" happened yet?Am I setting myself up for heartbreak by focusing so hard on one woman?What should I do next?What are some things I shouldn't do that will definitely fuck things up?If I should make a move, how should I go about it?TLDR;Man meets woman in school, has feelings for her lately, she is signaling interest pretty hard, man is too much of a wuss to make a move, then man messed up a couple of times, apologized, woman tells man she isn't mad. Man is fearful of ramifications to friend group, particularly her ex who is his close friend. Man seeks advice on what to do next and how others would perceive this situation from each person's viewpoint. Relationship sages, refer to questions above.