Not sure if I (24F) was manipulated into my relationship?

Ugh this is going to be a long one but I’ll try to summarize it all in my TLDR.

So I’ve been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over a year now. We are co workers at a small company. Been there for 3 years. When we first met, I didn’t think anything of him. I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at all. We had small interactions and he had a girlfriend at the time. He was always inviting me to parties and asking about my personal life. I thought he was a friendly guy but I wasn’t attracted to him at all. In fact, I didn’t really find him appealing in all honesty. So I thought nothing of these interactions. A year goes by and I start hanging around him and his group of friends because we had a really fun night out on one of our business trips. He starts wanting to talk to me privately and he says he wants to “get to know me”. I didn’t think anything of it but then he kind of starts pushing boundaries and asks for a hug every time we stop talking. He asks if I think he’s attractive and I honestly look at him and I say ummmmmmm you’re alright and he just goes “you’re joking. you know i’m attractive”. And the confidence surprised me and I guess that’s what started my initial attraction as weird as that sounds lol. He was a very outgoing and funny guy and I was wondering why he was so fixated on getting to know me. We started hanging out more and being flirtatious here and there. We go on a business trip though... and he was pressuring me into having sex. I told him I wasn’t comfortable because I was on my period and he said that it was fine. We all get drunk that night after work is done and he is the only one sober. I asked him to take care of me because I ended up taking care of him the last trip we went on and he agreed. It was my first time in a while getting completely wasted so I was really out of it but I remember everything. I remember coming on to him and we ended up having sex. The next morning, I woke up feeling weird because I hadn’t wanted to but I guess drunk me did. So I couldn’t really blame him for that, and that’s what he agrees with as well. I just noticed he loved to push boundaries and when I told him this, he said he didn’t believe in boundaries. So I just thought okay.. I guess I’m trying to figure out how it got to this point when I was interested in him at all. We started dating and he told me to tell him that I loved him. I felt weird because I was put on the spot so I said it. Now whenever we talk about that situation, he says it’s because he knew I loved him and he got me to say it first. In all honesty, I was just put on the spot. And now, we’re in a relationship where I feel like I need him in my life. I have crazy intense feelings for him now and I’m not sure if this was all manipulated. He has said things like he needs to control every aspect of my life because of how unorganized I am and how I don’t have set rules for myself???? And I was just okay with it. And he now controls what I wear and what I buy, etc. And I just comply because it makes him happy.. and now it’s just like my goal to make him happy. And he’ll flip out if I upset him even a little bit. I feel like I’ve been brainwashed and I’m trapped at this point? Idk. Any advice?

TLDD; never was initially attracted to my boyfriend when we first met. feel brainwashed because of instances where he pushed boundaries because he doesn’t believe in boundaries, just want outside opinions or advice on whether or not i was manipulated into it??

Submitted October 10, 2019 at 11:51PM

Ugh this is going to be a long one but I’ll try to summarize it all in my TLDR.So I’ve been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over a year now. We are co workers at a small company. Been there for 3 years. When we first met, I didn’t think anything of him. I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at all. We had small interactions and he had a girlfriend at the time. He was always inviting me to parties and asking about my personal life. I thought he was a friendly guy but I wasn’t attracted to him at all. In fact, I didn’t really find him appealing in all honesty. So I thought nothing of these interactions. A year goes by and I start hanging around him and his group of friends because we had a really fun night out on one of our business trips. He starts wanting to talk to me privately and he says he wants to “get to know me”. I didn’t think anything of it but then he kind of starts pushing boundaries and asks for a hug every time we stop talking. He asks if I think he’s attractive and I honestly look at him and I say ummmmmmm you’re alright and he just goes “you’re joking. you know i’m attractive”. And the confidence surprised me and I guess that’s what started my initial attraction as weird as that sounds lol. He was a very outgoing and funny guy and I was wondering why he was so fixated on getting to know me. We started hanging out more and being flirtatious here and there. We go on a business trip though... and he was pressuring me into having sex. I told him I wasn’t comfortable because I was on my period and he said that it was fine. We all get drunk that night after work is done and he is the only one sober. I asked him to take care of me because I ended up taking care of him the last trip we went on and he agreed. It was my first time in a while getting completely wasted so I was really out of it but I remember everything. I remember coming on to him and we ended up having sex. The next morning, I woke up feeling weird because I hadn’t wanted to but I guess drunk me did. So I couldn’t really blame him for that, and that’s what he agrees with as well. I just noticed he loved to push boundaries and when I told him this, he said he didn’t believe in boundaries. So I just thought okay.. I guess I’m trying to figure out how it got to this point when I was interested in him at all. We started dating and he told me to tell him that I loved him. I felt weird because I was put on the spot so I said it. Now whenever we talk about that situation, he says it’s because he knew I loved him and he got me to say it first. In all honesty, I was just put on the spot. And now, we’re in a relationship where I feel like I need him in my life. I have crazy intense feelings for him now and I’m not sure if this was all manipulated. He has said things like he needs to control every aspect of my life because of how unorganized I am and how I don’t have set rules for myself???? And I was just okay with it. And he now controls what I wear and what I buy, etc. And I just comply because it makes him happy.. and now it’s just like my goal to make him happy. And he’ll flip out if I upset him even a little bit. I feel like I’ve been brainwashed and I’m trapped at this point? Idk. Any advice?TLDD; never was initially attracted to my boyfriend when we first met. feel brainwashed because of instances where he pushed boundaries because he doesn’t believe in boundaries, just want outside opinions or advice on whether or not i was manipulated into it??