I [17M] don't know what to do with my complicated relationship with my gf [18F]

Sorry for such a long post, and Honestly, it's not really complicated, it's just agreed that we will be friends, and I need some advice.

Some backstory - I dated this girl from 1/21/18 until somewhere in the middle of summer this year. Her family had immigration issues so she was living alone in the US for her senior year (2018-2019 hs senior, I was junior when she was a senior). Because of that, we were together, a LOT. It basically felt like we were married/living together... anyways, college comes and she is attending uni in the UK so her family can more easily visit her. We talked about long distance, and we were back and forth, and decided to not pursue that because she was on a med degree track and won't graduate until 2025, and even then, there is no guarantee that she can return to practice in the US (foreign degrees aren't as well looked upon in the US). She is loving her new life in the UK, and has said that an option is for her to remain in the UK after graduation. On the other hand, I'm hoping to graduate in 2024 with a bachelor's in electrical engineering degree. Although it is very far into the future, I am not completely closed to the idea of moving for her (definitely subject to change in the future, I'm not that ignorant).

We both want to keep in contact, and we want to stay close (her words, "mega"bestf). She has expressed that she has no intention to pursue another relationship (for now), but I feel like that won't last for 7 years. I too, feel like I am not interested in pursuing another relationship. However, we both feel like the distance+the time isn't feasible to stay together. She has said that her definition of a relationship is with someone who can be a physical presence, not just a voice on the phone. There isn't any way around that, other than the fact that we could travel, and I do get to see her - I already have tickets to visit her during thanksgiving break, and she might come back to the US for her christmas break.

Basically, I want to have a relationship with her, and I'm hoping that we can get that "impossible dream" and have the best story to tell grandkids. However, our situations just don't fit. At all. Our families do very much like each other, and supported us as a couple. I'm just torn between keeping my hopes of keeping a relationship and doing what is the "smarter" choice and cutting things off. In her words, "we are perfect for each other in every way, but you just came a couple of years too early".

At this point, I consider her somewhere between my bestfriend and a gf - not quite gf, but definitely more than a friend. I think that she doesn't consider me her bf at all anymore, but is waiting for my trip in november to further decide on how to proceed.

I'd just like some input from internet strangers... Is there any hope? Is trying to hold onto hope completely stupid? If it gets to that point... how do I remain friends with her and not die inside if I watch her move on?

I'm sorry for so many comma splices and grammar errors, I just typed this as I went.

It just hurts so much to not have my best friend sitting next to me anymore.

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TL;DR - My gf and I broke up when she moved for uni, staying as friends but hoping that we can somehow stay together

Submitted October 11, 2019 at 12:16AM

Sorry for such a long post, and Honestly, it's not really complicated, it's just agreed that we will be friends, and I need some advice.Some backstory - I dated this girl from 1/21/18 until somewhere in the middle of summer this year. Her family had immigration issues so she was living alone in the US for her senior year (2018-2019 hs senior, I was junior when she was a senior). Because of that, we were together, a LOT. It basically felt like we were married/living together... anyways, college comes and she is attending uni in the UK so her family can more easily visit her. We talked about long distance, and we were back and forth, and decided to not pursue that because she was on a med degree track and won't graduate until 2025, and even then, there is no guarantee that she can return to practice in the US (foreign degrees aren't as well looked upon in the US). She is loving her new life in the UK, and has said that an option is for her to remain in the UK after graduation. On the other hand, I'm hoping to graduate in 2024 with a bachelor's in electrical engineering degree. Although it is very far into the future, I am not completely closed to the idea of moving for her (definitely subject to change in the future, I'm not that ignorant).We both want to keep in contact, and we want to stay close (her words, "mega"bestf). She has expressed that she has no intention to pursue another relationship (for now), but I feel like that won't last for 7 years. I too, feel like I am not interested in pursuing another relationship. However, we both feel like the distance+the time isn't feasible to stay together. She has said that her definition of a relationship is with someone who can be a physical presence, not just a voice on the phone. There isn't any way around that, other than the fact that we could travel, and I do get to see her - I already have tickets to visit her during thanksgiving break, and she might come back to the US for her christmas break.Basically, I want to have a relationship with her, and I'm hoping that we can get that "impossible dream" and have the best story to tell grandkids. However, our situations just don't fit. At all. Our families do very much like each other, and supported us as a couple. I'm just torn between keeping my hopes of keeping a relationship and doing what is the "smarter" choice and cutting things off. In her words, "we are perfect for each other in every way, but you just came a couple of years too early".At this point, I consider her somewhere between my bestfriend and a gf - not quite gf, but definitely more than a friend. I think that she doesn't consider me her bf at all anymore, but is waiting for my trip in november to further decide on how to proceed.I'd just like some input from internet strangers... Is there any hope? Is trying to hold onto hope completely stupid? If it gets to that point... how do I remain friends with her and not die inside if I watch her move on?I'm sorry for so many comma splices and grammar errors, I just typed this as I went.It just hurts so much to not have my best friend sitting next to me anymore.​TL;DR - My gf and I broke up when she moved for uni, staying as friends but hoping that we can somehow stay together