I (19F) don’t know if the guy I like (18M) likes me back because I pay for him oftentimes.

The title sounds really, really bad. And I get it. I would scoff at a title like that too and just scream “dump him” at my screen but hear me out.

I’ve met this guy two weeks ago at an event, we’ve started talking nonstop and it seems like we just clicked. We’re both living in our university dorms so naturally we see a LOT of each other which sort of gives the two weeks a heavier weight? if that makes sense.

Anyways, one thing I should mention is that this guy is super super attractive. He’s a solid 10. I don’t like to think about my looks or any of that because in the past I was deeply insecure and jt affected almost every aspect of my life, so I just avoid thinking about it altogether. I’d say I’m Okay looking. I know this sounds pathetic but it helps put things into perspective.

So first time we went out he wouldn’t get this food item because it was too expensive, so I offered to pay for it since I basically dragged him to this place bc I thought there’d be food there. He bought his drink and I bought mine. I didn’t think much of it and was happy to make it up to him.

Days went by, we still spoke a lot a lot, met up a couple of times and I didn’t pay for him once, all was dandy. Sometimes, I’d bring him snacks and shit because I like to stock up and usually have boxes of snacks in my room and it’s just a friendly gesture.

We live near a pretty big and metropolitan city. He’s never been there, he landed in the country and came straight to the university. I thought it’d be nice to show him around so we went with a couple of my friends. I paid for transport because I borrowed my friend’s travelcard (which turned out to be expensive as shit), paid for his food (but, to be fair, he offered to give me the money in cash so I’m not holding that one against him), and some dessert. Even ubered back, agreeing with my friends beforehand that we’d split it but no one paid me back.

Now it’s more or less regular that I pay for him, be it because he has no money in his campus card or that he thinks it’s too expensive.

A couple of days ago we admitted to each other that we like each other. One thing to note is that, I don’t mind paying for him. I’m not a big spender myself and my bank account didn’t suffer that much since I only pay little amounts. I’m just scared that this is the only reason he hangs out with me and eventually told me he likes me.

That would really shatter me. Any advice? Please don’t suggest talking to him because I just don’t think I have it in me and also he would make a very good case if he says “I never asked you to pay for me.” Also, part of me wonders if it’s because I come from another culture, where offering to pay for your friends is the bare minimum. I’ve often been criticised for how I won’t chase people for money they owe me and just let it go. My bank account might have not exactly suffered, but it’s still a bit crappy when someone promises they’ll pay you back and just flake, when you’d never do that to them, it’s like they don’t think they owe you the courtesy?

TL;DR: started paying for this guy’s food and drink and I’m worried he only likes me because of that.

Submitted October 10, 2019 at 11:45PM

The title sounds really, really bad. And I get it. I would scoff at a title like that too and just scream “dump him” at my screen but hear me out.I’ve met this guy two weeks ago at an event, we’ve started talking nonstop and it seems like we just clicked. We’re both living in our university dorms so naturally we see a LOT of each other which sort of gives the two weeks a heavier weight? if that makes sense.Anyways, one thing I should mention is that this guy is super super attractive. He’s a solid 10. I don’t like to think about my looks or any of that because in the past I was deeply insecure and jt affected almost every aspect of my life, so I just avoid thinking about it altogether. I’d say I’m Okay looking. I know this sounds pathetic but it helps put things into perspective.So first time we went out he wouldn’t get this food item because it was too expensive, so I offered to pay for it since I basically dragged him to this place bc I thought there’d be food there. He bought his drink and I bought mine. I didn’t think much of it and was happy to make it up to him.Days went by, we still spoke a lot a lot, met up a couple of times and I didn’t pay for him once, all was dandy. Sometimes, I’d bring him snacks and shit because I like to stock up and usually have boxes of snacks in my room and it’s just a friendly gesture.We live near a pretty big and metropolitan city. He’s never been there, he landed in the country and came straight to the university. I thought it’d be nice to show him around so we went with a couple of my friends. I paid for transport because I borrowed my friend’s travelcard (which turned out to be expensive as shit), paid for his food (but, to be fair, he offered to give me the money in cash so I’m not holding that one against him), and some dessert. Even ubered back, agreeing with my friends beforehand that we’d split it but no one paid me back.Now it’s more or less regular that I pay for him, be it because he has no money in his campus card or that he thinks it’s too expensive.A couple of days ago we admitted to each other that we like each other. One thing to note is that, I don’t mind paying for him. I’m not a big spender myself and my bank account didn’t suffer that much since I only pay little amounts. I’m just scared that this is the only reason he hangs out with me and eventually told me he likes me.That would really shatter me. Any advice? Please don’t suggest talking to him because I just don’t think I have it in me and also he would make a very good case if he says “I never asked you to pay for me.” Also, part of me wonders if it’s because I come from another culture, where offering to pay for your friends is the bare minimum. I’ve often been criticised for how I won’t chase people for money they owe me and just let it go. My bank account might have not exactly suffered, but it’s still a bit crappy when someone promises they’ll pay you back and just flake, when you’d never do that to them, it’s like they don’t think they owe you the courtesy?TL;DR: started paying for this guy’s food and drink and I’m worried he only likes me because of that.