How different is too different for a partner?

Sometimes I wonder if me and my partner are too different from each other.

We have a lot of clashing views and opinions in regards to religious views, even though we’re both Christian, politics, best places to live, how people (even me) should express myself.... just how we see the world, is different between us.

A lot of his opinions honestly anger me, hurt me, or just piss me off.

But I’m young (20) and so is he (20).

I don’t know if this is normal, or if we actually are just too different from each other.

I always hear the phrase “opposites attract” as a true and positive thing

But im not sure if I like it. And im not sure if i’m wrong for wanting someone a little more similar to me. And if not similar, then more accepting of our differing opinions.

Is it wrong to want someone slightly similar to you?

Normally, I don’t mind people with other views

But a lot of his viewpoints are of the few things that I oppose

We have discussion about these things a lot but instead of bringing us closer the conversation drives me away because I see how he thinks more clearly and it’s hurtful and not what I want

We do have similarities of course and I do love him.

But a lot of our differences have me second guessing our relationship and the advancement of it

I have changed a lot from the beginning of our relationship. In thought, i’m very different. Meanwhile he was stayed the same in many aspects, and the ways that he has changed are towards the things and mindsets that I have grown away from.

He often says that my change sometimes makes him sad and that sometimes he feels he doesn’t know me, but he accepts that about me.

How differing are you and your partner? Do you like it? Do you cope? Am I being naive?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have a lot of differences that bother me but i’m not sure if I’m supposed to just grow with them because “opposites attract” and the whole “it’s good to be with people different from you to grow”. I usually agree with that but often times I find our differences make me angry, sad, or just pissed off. It makes me question wanting to do this long term. But I don’t know if i’m being naive or just wrong so I stick it out. Because I do love him, but Im just not sure if it’s fully right to be together forever. Because of our differing views, I would feel restricted, we would want to raise our kids differently, there would always be compromise in some area.... Im still growing as a person and have changed drastically from when we first got together, meanwhile he is the same. I guess I want advice from those that have or have had partners that are really different from them, and to hear their stories

Advice, tips, and thoughts :)

Submitted October 13, 2019 at 11:26PM

Sometimes I wonder if me and my partner are too different from each other.We have a lot of clashing views and opinions in regards to religious views, even though we’re both Christian, politics, best places to live, how people (even me) should express myself.... just how we see the world, is different between us.A lot of his opinions honestly anger me, hurt me, or just piss me off.But I’m young (20) and so is he (20).I don’t know if this is normal, or if we actually are just too different from each other.I always hear the phrase “opposites attract” as a true and positive thingBut im not sure if I like it. And im not sure if i’m wrong for wanting someone a little more similar to me. And if not similar, then more accepting of our differing opinions.Is it wrong to want someone slightly similar to you?Normally, I don’t mind people with other viewsBut a lot of his viewpoints are of the few things that I opposeWe have discussion about these things a lot but instead of bringing us closer the conversation drives me away because I see how he thinks more clearly and it’s hurtful and not what I wantWe do have similarities of course and I do love him.But a lot of our differences have me second guessing our relationship and the advancement of itI have changed a lot from the beginning of our relationship. In thought, i’m very different. Meanwhile he was stayed the same in many aspects, and the ways that he has changed are towards the things and mindsets that I have grown away from.He often says that my change sometimes makes him sad and that sometimes he feels he doesn’t know me, but he accepts that about me.How differing are you and your partner? Do you like it? Do you cope? Am I being naive?TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have a lot of differences that bother me but i’m not sure if I’m supposed to just grow with them because “opposites attract” and the whole “it’s good to be with people different from you to grow”. I usually agree with that but often times I find our differences make me angry, sad, or just pissed off. It makes me question wanting to do this long term. But I don’t know if i’m being naive or just wrong so I stick it out. Because I do love him, but Im just not sure if it’s fully right to be together forever. Because of our differing views, I would feel restricted, we would want to raise our kids differently, there would always be compromise in some area.... Im still growing as a person and have changed drastically from when we first got together, meanwhile he is the same. I guess I want advice from those that have or have had partners that are really different from them, and to hear their storiesAdvice, tips, and thoughts :)