What can I (32m) do to maintain my composure regarding my gf's (26f) untrained dog (5yrs old). I'm at my wit's end.

I came home from work today and our locking trash was thrown halfway across the kitchen, the two recycling bags were ripped apart with the contents strewn across the floor, and a pan with its lid was pulled down from the stove. Admittedly I got frustrated and got into an argument with my girlfriend when she got home because I'm so beyond frustrated with the dogs behavior issues. We've dealt with this ever since the dog came into our possession. It's at least a biweekly occurrence for us. A month ago I forgot to latch the trash before I left, so I came home to salsa, guac, and other pieces of slimy garbage stuck to the kitchen floor. If the gf is on her period and we forget to close the bathroom door the dog fills herself with bloody tampons. We've had to jerry rig our fence to be 3 feet higher because it would jump out when we leave. It has dug at least 3, 2 ft wide holes in the back yard since we've moved into our new living arrangement. Now it's starting to bark every time someone comes home.

A little back story. When I first met my gf she didn't have the dog. It was staying at her parents because she wasn't able to care for it at the time. She had brought it up a couple times but ultimately I just assumed it would be staying there. A few months later after we started living together the gf decided she wanted the dog back and I was cool with that. Within the first two days it shredded the bedroom carpet and tried ripping the door off its hinge. That's when gf told me that they never really tried training it with her previous bf, and that he was somewhat abusive towards the dog. I thought maybe the dog would mellow out over time, but it hasn't.

I've tried setting rules for the dog but I often feel like I'm just not being heard. I've said no human food countless times, and fortunately the gf stopped feeding it at the table, but she still insists on dropping human food in its bowl because "dogs deserve to have good food as well." Gf's Mom does not listen when I request that she doesn't feed the dog when we're at their cabin. We'll be eating dinner and she'll just be hand feeding the dogs every other piece of food from her plate. Even my own mom will sneak the dog food while at the table, and if I happen to see her doing it they act as if I'm some sort of humbug for not treating the dog. I've suggested kenneling it while we're gone, but apparently when the dog was younger they tried kenneling it and it just ended up trying to violently thrash it's way out, so that's out of the question. We're both taking classes right now, and when I'm not in class or studying I'm working, so it's hard to find time to take it out. Even if we do find time that generally just means the following day we're going to have a trashed living space.

I hate when I get frustrated by all this because I generally end up raising my voice and I don't like doing that. It's hard not to though when I continuously feel like people are just snubbing their nose to my requests, then I end up having to clean up after a dog that I didn't even really expect to have in the first place. And don't get me wrong, the dog is incredibly sweet when it wants to be and I enjoy it's company, but when it wants to wreck shit it sure as hell does. Any advice on keeping my calm or productive communication would be stellar. Thank you.

TL;DR: GF's dog has been a bit of a nightmare. People are ignoring my requests for structure regarding the dog. I'm getting frustrated and need advice on keeping my cool or communicating my needs better.

Submitted September 19, 2019 at 11:46PM

I came home from work today and our locking trash was thrown halfway across the kitchen, the two recycling bags were ripped apart with the contents strewn across the floor, and a pan with its lid was pulled down from the stove. Admittedly I got frustrated and got into an argument with my girlfriend when she got home because I'm so beyond frustrated with the dogs behavior issues. We've dealt with this ever since the dog came into our possession. It's at least a biweekly occurrence for us. A month ago I forgot to latch the trash before I left, so I came home to salsa, guac, and other pieces of slimy garbage stuck to the kitchen floor. If the gf is on her period and we forget to close the bathroom door the dog fills herself with bloody tampons. We've had to jerry rig our fence to be 3 feet higher because it would jump out when we leave. It has dug at least 3, 2 ft wide holes in the back yard since we've moved into our new living arrangement. Now it's starting to bark every time someone comes home.A little back story. When I first met my gf she didn't have the dog. It was staying at her parents because she wasn't able to care for it at the time. She had brought it up a couple times but ultimately I just assumed it would be staying there. A few months later after we started living together the gf decided she wanted the dog back and I was cool with that. Within the first two days it shredded the bedroom carpet and tried ripping the door off its hinge. That's when gf told me that they never really tried training it with her previous bf, and that he was somewhat abusive towards the dog. I thought maybe the dog would mellow out over time, but it hasn't.I've tried setting rules for the dog but I often feel like I'm just not being heard. I've said no human food countless times, and fortunately the gf stopped feeding it at the table, but she still insists on dropping human food in its bowl because "dogs deserve to have good food as well." Gf's Mom does not listen when I request that she doesn't feed the dog when we're at their cabin. We'll be eating dinner and she'll just be hand feeding the dogs every other piece of food from her plate. Even my own mom will sneak the dog food while at the table, and if I happen to see her doing it they act as if I'm some sort of humbug for not treating the dog. I've suggested kenneling it while we're gone, but apparently when the dog was younger they tried kenneling it and it just ended up trying to violently thrash it's way out, so that's out of the question. We're both taking classes right now, and when I'm not in class or studying I'm working, so it's hard to find time to take it out. Even if we do find time that generally just means the following day we're going to have a trashed living space.I hate when I get frustrated by all this because I generally end up raising my voice and I don't like doing that. It's hard not to though when I continuously feel like people are just snubbing their nose to my requests, then I end up having to clean up after a dog that I didn't even really expect to have in the first place. And don't get me wrong, the dog is incredibly sweet when it wants to be and I enjoy it's company, but when it wants to wreck shit it sure as hell does. Any advice on keeping my calm or productive communication would be stellar. Thank you.TL;DR: GF's dog has been a bit of a nightmare. People are ignoring my requests for structure regarding the dog. I'm getting frustrated and need advice on keeping my cool or communicating my needs better.