I (21 F) broke up with BF (22 M) of 3.5 years, during the breakup he slept/dated tons of girls and we just got back together.

We were dating for 3.5 years and I initiated the breakup for many reasons but none of them related to not loving him. They mostly revolve around us being young and too dependant on each other. I felt really guilty as I was his first girlfriend and took his virginity and had some underlying feeling that I wasn't "the one". Also I thought he had no idea what he wanted because he hadn't actually experienced a relationship. (we talked about getting a place together/ potentially getting married in the future). I have a really unhealthy look at relationships from my own parents/family's relationships. I told him all the time to let me know if he wanted to sleep/date other people during the relationship and he would have my permission. He always said no, never brought it up and always told me I was "the one" for him. I just wanted to make sure I was someone he really wanted me at the end of the day because it seems crazy to me when people marry their first loves. (How do you know they're the right one?? You have no one to compare them to!! Idk I think it's amazing when couples are together for 50 years and they were each other's, first love.)

Anyways, We broke up and within a week he already went on a bunch of dates and had sex with some girl. We kept talking and having some on and off thing, so I found out the week after. He told me it was to distract himself from being upset and it helped keep him busy. I kinda understood but I told him I had no problem with him seeing other people as long as he let me know about them;he agreed to. Over the weeks, I constantly asked about his relationships with other girls and asked him to be honest because I wanted to know. The issue is that he never let me know anything until weeks afterward and only when I asked about it. He always left out some things and found some type of loophole about telling me stuff. Ex. I got mad at him 3 weeks in and told him not to tell me anything and he ended up going on dates with a girl I didn't like and told him to avoid. Today we got back together and I found out that he slept with another girl and went on a lot more dates than he told me. We were hanging out the entire time we were "single" and he never told me anything.

I know that when I broke up with him I no longer had a say in what he does but I'm hurt that he agreed to tell me things but purposely didn't. He says that it's embarrassing and weird to tell me these things. He says that now that we're together he's completely commited to me and won't message any girls. I'm just nervous because it seems like there's a lot of things he still hasn't told me and he gets anxious and mad when I probe these things. I sincerely don't think he will cheat on me but he doesn't want to tell people or introduce me to his new friends that he has made during the breakup.

TL;DR I broke up with my boyfriend, he fucked&dated tons of girls while he was single. We got back together and I'm feeling weird about the situation.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking but I'm hoping someone has gotten back together after a breakup and everything worked out. I guess also, how do you work past the feeling that when your ex/bf has slept with other people???

Submitted September 19, 2019 at 11:53PM

We were dating for 3.5 years and I initiated the breakup for many reasons but none of them related to not loving him. They mostly revolve around us being young and too dependant on each other. I felt really guilty as I was his first girlfriend and took his virginity and had some underlying feeling that I wasn't "the one". Also I thought he had no idea what he wanted because he hadn't actually experienced a relationship. (we talked about getting a place together/ potentially getting married in the future). I have a really unhealthy look at relationships from my own parents/family's relationships. I told him all the time to let me know if he wanted to sleep/date other people during the relationship and he would have my permission. He always said no, never brought it up and always told me I was "the one" for him. I just wanted to make sure I was someone he really wanted me at the end of the day because it seems crazy to me when people marry their first loves. (How do you know they're the right one?? You have no one to compare them to!! Idk I think it's amazing when couples are together for 50 years and they were each other's, first love.)Anyways, We broke up and within a week he already went on a bunch of dates and had sex with some girl. We kept talking and having some on and off thing, so I found out the week after. He told me it was to distract himself from being upset and it helped keep him busy. I kinda understood but I told him I had no problem with him seeing other people as long as he let me know about them;he agreed to. Over the weeks, I constantly asked about his relationships with other girls and asked him to be honest because I wanted to know. The issue is that he never let me know anything until weeks afterward and only when I asked about it. He always left out some things and found some type of loophole about telling me stuff. Ex. I got mad at him 3 weeks in and told him not to tell me anything and he ended up going on dates with a girl I didn't like and told him to avoid. Today we got back together and I found out that he slept with another girl and went on a lot more dates than he told me. We were hanging out the entire time we were "single" and he never told me anything.I know that when I broke up with him I no longer had a say in what he does but I'm hurt that he agreed to tell me things but purposely didn't. He says that it's embarrassing and weird to tell me these things. He says that now that we're together he's completely commited to me and won't message any girls. I'm just nervous because it seems like there's a lot of things he still hasn't told me and he gets anxious and mad when I probe these things. I sincerely don't think he will cheat on me but he doesn't want to tell people or introduce me to his new friends that he has made during the breakup.TL;DR I broke up with my boyfriend, he fucked&dated tons of girls while he was single. We got back together and I'm feeling weird about the situation.I'm not really sure what I'm asking but I'm hoping someone has gotten back together after a breakup and everything worked out. I guess also, how do you work past the feeling that when your ex/bf has slept with other people???