My boyfriend & his friends hang out with a woman twice their age

My (21F) boyfriend (20M) and I have been dating for 9 months. He and his friends play video games online pretty regularly. I don’t have a problem with him playing video games all the time since it’s his main social outlet and he has a lot of fun.

With that being said, the one thing that makes me super uncomfortable is the fact that one of his friends’ moms plays video games with them regularly and has become a part of their friend group. She calls them by nicknames and joshes around with them as if she were their age.

That part is a little weird for me, but I don’t think I would give it much mind if it were just that. What weirds me out is the fact that she makes it a point to get into the music that they listen to, travels to see concerts with them, and attends parties and other social outings with their group of friends.

I have told him in the past that I think it’s odd behavior and am surprised that it’s not uncomfortable for him (a college student) to be hanging out with someone’s middle aged parent with such frequency. He got extremely upset and defensive when I said this which shocked me because he’s usually a very logical person and can see both sides of the coin.

I suppose my main issue is that if the roles were reversed - if I was close friends with my best friend’s dad, spoke to him daily, went on road trips with him, and if we had nicknames between the two of us - my boyfriend would definitely not be okay with it. I can almost guarantee he would tell me it was highly inappropriate.

Part of me realizes that I really shouldn’t be concerned, but it bothers me because it all seems inappropriate to me. In the end, my boyfriend is a grown man so I’m not going to tell him he shouldn’t hang out with her or travel with her. I just want to know if my feelings about the situation are valid in any way because he acted like I was crazy when I brought up what I thought about it.

Finally, here are the questions I have. Am I being irrational? Is this not odd behavior? Is it inappropriate to be best friends with your son and his friends from high school? Should I talk to him about this next time he brings her up in an effort to understand the situation or is it better to leave him alone?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is close friends with his best friend’s mom - a woman twice his age. She partakes in lots of group activities with her son and his friends and has a very personal relationship with each of them. I think it’s a little inappropriate, my boyfriend does not.



Submitted September 08, 2019 at 11:29PM

My (21F) boyfriend (20M) and I have been dating for 9 months. He and his friends play video games online pretty regularly. I don’t have a problem with him playing video games all the time since it’s his main social outlet and he has a lot of fun.With that being said, the one thing that makes me super uncomfortable is the fact that one of his friends’ moms plays video games with them regularly and has become a part of their friend group. She calls them by nicknames and joshes around with them as if she were their age.That part is a little weird for me, but I don’t think I would give it much mind if it were just that. What weirds me out is the fact that she makes it a point to get into the music that they listen to, travels to see concerts with them, and attends parties and other social outings with their group of friends.I have told him in the past that I think it’s odd behavior and am surprised that it’s not uncomfortable for him (a college student) to be hanging out with someone’s middle aged parent with such frequency. He got extremely upset and defensive when I said this which shocked me because he’s usually a very logical person and can see both sides of the coin.I suppose my main issue is that if the roles were reversed - if I was close friends with my best friend’s dad, spoke to him daily, went on road trips with him, and if we had nicknames between the two of us - my boyfriend would definitely not be okay with it. I can almost guarantee he would tell me it was highly inappropriate.Part of me realizes that I really shouldn’t be concerned, but it bothers me because it all seems inappropriate to me. In the end, my boyfriend is a grown man so I’m not going to tell him he shouldn’t hang out with her or travel with her. I just want to know if my feelings about the situation are valid in any way because he acted like I was crazy when I brought up what I thought about it.Finally, here are the questions I have. Am I being irrational? Is this not odd behavior? Is it inappropriate to be best friends with your son and his friends from high school? Should I talk to him about this next time he brings her up in an effort to understand the situation or is it better to leave him alone?TL;DR: My boyfriend is close friends with his best friend’s mom - a woman twice his age. She partakes in lots of group activities with her son and his friends and has a very personal relationship with each of them. I think it’s a little inappropriate, my boyfriend does not.
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