So, I M26, am looking to sort out my dating life next year. I am from the UK and live in Canada, and my last girlfriend was prior to moving to Canada (which happened in the spring of 2023). I have found the apps to be so artificial and difficult to build substantive connections on. So far for the most part, dating apps have allowed me to get laid, however not build any connections and be a bit flakey at best. I have now deleted my hinge as I feel it has not led to anything, for the reasons stated above. I have quite an active social life, such as going out on the weekend to bars, but what other ways can I maximise the pool of girls that I can find be compatible? I am part of running clubs, but what were some of the other ways that I can fix my dating life? Submitted January 01, 2024 at 12:13AM So, I M26, am looking to sort out my dating life next year. I am from the UK and live in Canada, and my last girlfriend was prior to moving to Canada (which happened in the spring of 202...

Any tips of how to get your bfs mom to like you? Submitted January 01, 2024 at 12:13AM Any tips of how to get your bfs mom to like you?

This is such a nice icebreaker prompt! December 30, 2023 at 11:13PM

The girl (F24) I'm (27 M) currently dating has self image issues, self confidence issues, anxious attachment style has been suicidal before, went through divorce 1 year ago. Based on the story she told me the thing that shocked her was her ex husband telling her to go have sex with other guys. They were not intimate for 2 years prior to divorce. We've been getting intimate lately and closer, she's kind and caring, doing things that nobody has done for me before. What s bothering me is that she makes jokes such as her wanting to have sex with other guys, guys I know, guys from work or having sex with multiple guys. She s a great person but these jokes hurt me, I am a naturally jealous person. How should I deal with this? Submitted December 30, 2023 at 12:12AM The girl (F24) I'm (27 M) currently dating has self image issues, self confidence issues, anxious attachment style has been suicidal before, went through divorce 1 year ago.Based on the story she told me ...

So I (m27) met this girl (f21) one month ago and I am lost. At the beginning of the night/party we met, she reached me out and asked me if I remembered her. I told her no, because I couldn't remember her name or what discussions we had had, but I did remember that we had briefly met and that we had spent a while chatting in a kitchen with some other people. She reminded me her name and I apologized, as I was slowly remembering who she was and what we had talked about. The party continued and finally we kissed each other. Just after the kiss she ordered an Uber and we went to her home and had a hook up. The day after, I felt extremely happy and couldn't take her out of my mind despite a hard working day. So I decided to send her a message to thank her for the nice moment we had spent together. We chatted a bit and I told her I was not comfortable with having sex with someone and just forgetting them afterwards, that I wanted to know if we could meet again. She kindly answered...

LEAVE, please stay safe December 27, 2023 at 11:27PM

Well, you're demi, so I guess you don't get celebrity crushes? I stopped dating a while ago so those work for me, and I have occasionally thought about exes but not frequently. I'm a bit grey. I don't need the fantasy either, but it's more fun with one. December 27, 2023 at 11:24PM

forgive my ignorance but isnt this just saying that people who are queer come in many forms and so we can't just broadly place them into strict categories along with the expectations that come with those categories? and the last part is just saying that queer people who are in a heterosexual relationship are still queer? perhaps im missing the subtext December 27, 2023 at 11:19PM

It could also be romantic attraction, I think, but I consider those things to be very low key under the sexual umbrella. I'm a lil grey though. December 27, 2023 at 11:17PM

This is going to sound weird, but you didn’t mention it so I figured it might be worth asking: Have you been diagnosed with or suspect you might have ADHD? One of the big challenges for people with ADHD is starting complex tasks, and it often gets classified as laziness but it’s not. Given how you described that I figured it might be worth asking. December 26, 2023 at 11:10PM

I am 16 and only felt it once but I am.not so sure December 26, 2023 at 11:06PM

for context, I’m a 25-year-old female, I do have a career. I’m hoping to advance in the career after I obtain my masters. Should I settle for this guy? Basically, I asked him about what he would bring to the table, and he kept talking in circles. we were talking about the future, and how it would look if we were together. I told him that I would like for my children to grow up in middle-class or higher, because I grew up poor. he was like OK, he grew up upper middle class. I asked him what his plan for his life was career wise. He cannot give me a straight answer, he told me he did not know. At this point this man is 30 years old. My question is do I settle for him and hope he gets it together career wise? or do I keep exploring my options and meet someone who knows what they want career wise? I don’t like how I have to have a career and have these things to be appealing to him, but he doesn’t have to have those things to be appealing to me. Submitted December 26, 2023 at 12:10...

ive been single for a while now and recently ive started seeing this guy but ive found that its really hard for me to open back up again. im a very independent person, especially after my last relationship, which turned out to be really toxic, and i cant seem to let my guard down. hes a sweet guy and always wants to do things for me but its hard for me to accept help. hes admitted to me that sometimes he doesnt know if i actually like him because im so guarded and dont let my emotions show. i give him all the reassurance he needs but i want to be better for him. i want to learn to trust again and open up but i dont know how to do that… any advice? Submitted December 26, 2023 at 12:11AM ive been single for a while now and recently ive started seeing this guy but ive found that its really hard for me to open back up again. im a very independent person, especially after my last relationship, which turned out to be really toxic, and i cant seem to let my guard down. hes a sweet guy ...

There’s a guy I like at school and I think he likes me too. We’re both in ours 20s. We met at a dinner and he seemed to be a little shy around me but we had a great conversation. He even complimented and admired me calling me brave. We had similar views and interests. I think he might have noticed me in class before this though. Since then at school I often catch him staring at me a lot. We have conversations here and there but he doesn’t ask me many questions to get to know me like I ask him. He’s more playful and tries to innocently touch me or make me laugh. So I wonder does he actually like me for my personality or does he just like how I look and how can I tell? Submitted December 26, 2023 at 12:12AM There’s a guy I like at school and I think he likes me too. We’re both in ours 20s. We met at a dinner and he seemed to be a little shy around me but we had a great conversation. He even complimented and admired me calling me brave. We had similar views and interests. I think ...

Many, many of the people who seem intelligent in their dating site profiles (online is my only practical option for getting dates right now) are asexual. I crave intellect in a partner. I want sex, too, but it's hard to find both in one person, it seems. Would it be a bad idea, do you think, to bite the bullet and open my "net" to asexual people? Submitted December 26, 2023 at 12:15AM Many, many of the people who seem intelligent in their dating site profiles (online is my only practical option for getting dates right now) are asexual. I crave intellect in a partner. I want sex, too, but it's hard to find both in one person, it seems. Would it be a bad idea, do you think, to bite the bullet and open my "net" to asexual people?

Hey, i was on a birthdayparty last week and this boy I’ve been just friends with flirted the hole time and he asked me to come to his soccer game next week. I like him and I would like to go out with him, so is this a sign that I should ask him out ? I also don’t wanna ruin the friendship when he doesn’t see me this way Submitted December 25, 2023 at 12:10AM Hey, i was on a birthdayparty last week and this boy I’ve been just friends with flirted the hole time and he asked me to come to his soccer game next week.I like him and I would like to go out with him, so is this a sign that I should ask him out ? I also don’t wanna ruin the friendship when he doesn’t see me this way

Hi all, i am a 36 year old virgin and really get made fun of for this. I am interested in women and i am attracted to fair women. I have tried talking to women at bars, coffee shops but nothing seems to work. I think i come across as unattractive at bars as women aren't interested in a conversation when I try to strike it. I don't have much time as I am working on multiple jobs so I don't have much time to give to hobbies. But I work out daily and I am physically fit. My height is 5 ft 7 and i am slim. I am shy and I am really fed up of me still being a virgin. I have very few friends. I am trying to get advice from hiring a Wingman but I am unable to find someone for it as i want it in person. What can I do to as i am feeling hopeless. Please be positive in your responses, thanks! Merry Xmas 🎄 Submitted December 25, 2023 at 12:13AM Hi all, i am a 36 year old virgin and really get made fun of for this. I am interested in women and i am attracted to fair women. I hav...

I (35M) have been seeing a girl (36F) for around 3 weeks. We met on a dating app and after a bit of chatting we met up for a coffee. The vibe was very nice since the start and all felt natural. For the second date we met in the afternoon for food and we stayed together until late for drinks and ended up at my place for chats (no sex). For the third date we had dinner at my place and she stayed over; we ended up having sex that night. The day after she asked me to go to the cinema, which we did, but straight after the movie the vibe was suddenly different, colder I'd say. We were supposed to go for dinner, but she said that she was feeling tired and wanted to go home (fair). The days after the movie date I felt that she wasn't engaged that much when we were texting. As we used to text eachother normally, I sent her a text on a frieday evening, nothing really important, but she didn't answer at all until I texted her again on the next Monday morning. At that point I was alr...

Here comes a shitty header and sorry for whiny post below. I want to ask for advises (hoping for serious advice), as I'm in an unique situation where anyone who know me, read this and will know this is me. Maybe I'll even get backlashes since it's reddit(mercy please) In context, I (F 33) met a guy(M 30)through at least 3 coincidences which lead to us meeting in an dating event (singles event which I didn't emwnt to join)we attended. During the event and after we found more coincidences and similarities in hobbies (we like manga, anime etc). We went for first date 1 week after, I thought it went well. He already told me his goals in relationship (only serious, married for love aft dating 2yrs and have kid by what age etc) which the timeline I might not be able to meet (more into it later) At first I wanted to keep my option open and date more guys since I was out of dating scene for 6yrs and felt it just feel crazy if I just go for the first guy who approached me. B...

If a girl who is in a relationship knows that a guy likes her (from the way that he is looking at her when they are in the same place, by liking her selfies/stories etc) and it is pretty obvious that he is waiting to shoot his shot, if he hasn’t done it already, why not to hide her stories from him or unfollow him (they both follow each other)? In order to make it clear that she doesn’t want him to flirt her or to make an approach. Also if you knew that someone likes you why to look at him multiple times in a very intentional way? Isn’t that kinda flirty? I think that despite being in a relationship she acts like she wants to be approached. What’s your opinion? Submitted December 24, 2023 at 12:14AM If a girl who is in a relationship knows that a guy likes her (from the way that he is looking at her when they are in the same place, by liking her selfies/stories etc) and it is pretty obvious that he is waiting to shoot his shot, if he hasn’t done it already, why not to hide he...

I'm very repulsed; I would definitely be uncomfortable seeing anything like that. December 22, 2023 at 11:48PM

We’ve been texting for a couple of weeks and she said she trusts me and said I had a great personality, which she was looking for in a guy. We’ve shared pics and everything but she recently went through a break up and said she needed time to think because she was afraid of going into a new relationship. I told her that I respect that decision and I also appreciate the honesty, but whatever decision she makes it, I made it known that it is hers and I eon’t say a thing. In the end she told me after confessing that she didn’t refuse the idea of us being together, but also wants to go slowly through the decision and even brought up voice calls instead of text. Do you guys think there might be a chance? If there was a chance, how do I not ruin it?( I’m really afraid of ruining it and I really really like her. ) How do I move on with this, what should I discuss with her over the phone? Submitted December 22, 2023 at 12:12AM We’ve been texting for a couple of weeks and she said she t...

Hello everyone, I've been a long-time lurker, but this is my first time posting. I need some advice regarding a relationship I'm in. I (25M) have known this girl (26F, let's call her A) for a year now. Everything about A was amazing until two months ago when we started dating. I am serious about her and want to marry her as soon as we both know each other well enough. However, I'm facing a few issues and don't know how to navigate them. Recently, A took this examination, and her result was out a couple of months ago. She failed in every paper with huge margins, but the problem is that she showed everyone a different result that turned out to be fake and edited (she still showed everyone that she failed but just one paper and by barely a few marks) I discovered this from a mutual friend, who heard it from another mutual of A (let's call her M). A initially denied it, claiming that M was lying because he had feelings for her and she rejected him (this is another...

I (37m/fluid) feel inconsistent, keep neurotically changing my dating profile daily, and am wondering if anyone can help me feel settled or more certain about what I'm looking for... I've only had one 12yr LTR and besides that have been on maybe 15 other dates in my life. I prefer close connections and great familiarity before anything sexual, but I also don't really expect anything to last and am very rarely attracted. Part of my impetus in looking for "casual" is that even when I'm attracted it's inconsistent and often impermanent. I think I'm just looking for short term (3-12 dates with some hooking up) but am consciously aiming for not just a ONS but enough of a connection that it's somewhere in-between a hookup and dating. I wouldn't want to end a good thing... but I have very rarely (only 3x) felt like something could last. I feel too bad about perpetuating expectations or misleading anyone to reside in seductions, and I very commonly s...

Kind of a rant. But I cant fucking stand chatting. Either Im just really bad at it or super emotionally unavailable, but ts just so boring. HoW wAs YouR DaY? GoodMorNiNG. goOdNigHt. 🤮 Im not interested in sexting or nudes or anything like that either. Why cant it just be "Hey, lets meet at 19:00 at X bar on next Friday and forget about each other in the mean time?" "Sounds good lets do that!". When im at home and my partner is physically not there I just want to be in my little cave alone. Can you give me any example of non-boring chats? Submitted December 19, 2023 at 12:14AM Kind of a rant. But I cant fucking stand chatting. Either Im just really bad at it or super emotionally unavailable, but ts just so boring. HoW wAs YouR DaY? GoodMorNiNG. goOdNigHt. 🤮 Im not interested in sexting or nudes or anything like that either. Why cant it just be "Hey, lets meet at 19:00 at X bar on next Friday and forget about each other in the mean time?" "Sou...

Thankfully, I've rarely felt religious judgement for my asexuality, but I've been very vigilant for it and as an ace Christian who's always been super pro LGBT rights even before I knew I was ace, I have long been extremely intentional about finding Christian spaces that don't care what people are. In this case, whether or not you want to cut them out is up to you, but I have to ask a hard question - if you brought them a partner who was a nonbinary or trans or a woman, what do you think they would say or do? If your partner told you they were uncomfortable around these two and they didn't want to see them again, how would you respond? As for what you can do, if you want to try and reach them still, you can look into resources for progressive Christianity and all of the mountains of evidence that no one chooses to be gay. There are a lot of churches with scriptural stances on this that aren't just "All gay bad." Maybe do some research into those and...

Yeah my parents are like this .They are no longer in my life. This is the best way to deal with it. December 17, 2023 at 11:08PM

That is really hard, for both of you. You clearly love each other a lot and are really really mismatched. It will be hard to let it go, but I believe that is probably where you are heading. Most relationships from high school do not last as long as yours have. And it is probably time - neither of you are going to be happy like this. December 16, 2023 at 11:07PM

Can relate but I don't have any solutions for you unfourtunaly, being a grey ace is living between two worlds honestly. December 15, 2023 at 11:18PM

I think it doesn't really correlate with asexuality in my experience. I'm an ace who gets turned on and reads porn and masturbates. But I don't get turned on from seeing someone attractive being naked or posing suggestively. There are specific actions/scenarios/ideas that turn me on. Like the idea/depiction of someone experiencing sexual pleasure. But I'm not attracted to the characters and don't feel anything sexual directed at them. The things that would turn most people on, like the idea of doing something sexual with someone they find attractive, simply does nothing for me. In my opinion, using this "groinal response" analogy for asexuality makes it sound more like: we're sexually attracted to people and react physically, but emotionally we don't want it or are repulsed by it. But for me, I don't react physically to the same things allos do. So I think it's a misleading analogy. December 14, 2023 at 11:25PM

Yeah, i identify way more with the A-spec community than I do the LGBTQ community. We are fundamentally different than most other labels(with the complete or near complete lack of sexual attraction rather than attraction based on gender) a sexual minority group. As for the comments, there is no way to avoid them. they are literally discriminating against us for doing nothing, they are beyond help. December 13, 2023 at 11:03PM

I don't, but I don't begrudge other ace or aro spec folks from wanting to. I just think my experiences with my own asexuality are not in any way comparable to those of other queer identities. December 13, 2023 at 11:02PM

call me a fast food meal the way i'm so unbalanced 😩 December 13, 2023 at 10:59PM

Being wrongly gendered and expected to want sex, whether with specific people or not, were both traumatic. But go on telling people they don’t exist if they’re not just like you in your specific situation. December 13, 2023 at 10:53PM

Got to the point where I was trying to exchange contact info with one of my matches. She seemed really interested and was the one to bring up exchanging contact info - I then said “sure” what’s your username” and the convo then immediately dried up. Now I’m overthinking and feel like I fucked up the tension by framing it as a question and I should’ve said “Sure send me your username”instead. Does something small like that really matter enough to drive someone away who seemed interested initially? It seems weird to me that something so small would drive someone away, are women usually fickle about the phrasing like that? Submitted December 13, 2023 at 12:16AM Got to the point where I was trying to exchange contact info with one of my matches. She seemed really interested and was the one to bring up exchanging contact info - I then said “sure” what’s your username” and the convo then immediately dried up. Now I’m overthinking and feel like I fucked up the tension by framing it as...

All Bees Become Angels December 11, 2023 at 11:07PM

Very interesting, thank you for sharing that insight! It's great that you are just fine with it and that there was no big emotional chaos around it. December 10, 2023 at 11:19PM

I 18f have been seeing this guy 20m that I met at a college event a couple months back. We’ve been talking for like 2 months but due to college and assignments etc we weren’t able to meet up that much but when we did it was good but brief. He’s told me a good few times that he has loads of college work to do and once semesters over we’ll hang out more and he also apologised for being inactive . We were suppose to meet up on Thursday but he said he wasn’t feeling well and asked when next I’m free. So we both settled for Monday. Where I live is normally very chilly during the winter so I was wondering if it’ll be weird if I were to ask him if we can chill in his dorm and order food( our plan was to get food anyway). The first night I met him he did bring me to his dorm but I was too scared to go in because I had just met him that night and I didn’t want to do anything i wasn’t comfortable with so we just sat on the stairs instead. He’s never gave me any red flags or touched me inappr...

Sorry you had this bad experience. Another person here to say you aren’t alone. I had a sex with someone I had been friends with for about 4 months just to get it over with (wasn’t sexually attracted to him) and it really confirmed for me that 1. I can’t go through with oral sex (ever again), and 2. that I can’t have sex with someone who I’m not in a committed relationship with. I’m sex-indifferent, repulsed leaning… but I remember feeling so gross and sick to my stomach the next day thinking about it, I still I feel gross when I think about some of it… He’s the only person I’ve ever slept with and probably the only person I ever will, and I’m perfectly happy with that being the case. Anyway, i hope you feel better, again, sorry to hear you had that bad experience. December 08, 2023 at 11:01PM

Noooo. I stay away from Disney adults, not gonna lie. December 07, 2023 at 11:10PM

Hi all, I'm very new to the dating spade as a 21M, I matched with a girl a few days ago and we hit it off quite well in the texts I decided to ask her if she wanted to meet up this weekend but she said she's not available until January sadly but would really like to do so whenever she can, this isn't a problem for me as I'm only going to be here for 2 more weekends as I'll be going home for Christmas until January when I will be back first week of January, Is it worth me trying to continue this or is she just using it as an excuse not to meet up? Submitted December 07, 2023 at 12:17AM Hi all, I'm very new to the dating spade as a 21M, I matched with a girl a few days ago and we hit it off quite well in the texts I decided to ask her if she wanted to meet up this weekend but she said she's not available until January sadly but would really like to do so whenever she can, this isn't a problem for me as I'm only going to be here for 2 more weeke...

So I'm now a 26M. Since I was around 15, I've been fully in love with 2 people. Once broke my heart and cheated on me on prom night, and the other was a girl that was my best friend for 4 years, which never became anything more. Since then, I always found myself reminiscing about one or the other, and how much I truly loved each of them. From the emotional pain of each, I stopped looking for any relationships. I lost all interest in dating and in turn started to lose some self-esteem. Because of this lack of emotional attachment, I ended up becoming super close with my friends, which made me kind of emotionally dependant on them. One friend in particular and I would always hang out, go out, etc. His then girlfriend got super jealous and basically wrecked havoc upon our friendship because she thought we were too close... I still have some trauma from being called in the middle of the night being yelled at, or having to defend myself for actions that weren't wrong. This las...

I do orgasm with a partner yes, it's sometimes enjoyable and other times not. It often just feels a bit odd and foreign and it takes a lot for it to happen, and its honestly a bit hard to stay aroused fjfhjd. But alone i can achieve it no problem. I think it kind of depends, I'm actually sex indifferent but sometimes it'll tip more favorable (or less favorable). December 04, 2023 at 10:22PM

I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month and a half. We used to be friends back during middle school, and we’ve been talking on social media for a while. We’ve gotten really close, but we haven’t met in person yet. I’ve cancelled on him twice. I told him that I’m not ready and I tried to end things with him by saying I’m not in the right space mentally for a relationship or simply put even a connection that demands effort and attention. My work is incredibly busy as well, I work on a small team as an analyst and I don’t even have a moment to take a lunch break. He has kids so he’s pretty much limited on time as well. I communicated with him that I have a habit of going mia, being too overwhelmed to talk and that I’m not mentally able to be the person that he needs. I said I didn’t want to hurt him or waste his time. He also knows that I’m talking to other men. These were his responses: - that wouldn’t waste my taste - I’m fine before you and will be fine after - you can’t assum...

Realising that sex isn't for everyone December 02, 2023 at 11:16PM

You are sex averse. While it is not uncommon that asexual people are also sex averse or even sex repulsed, those things are not the same. December 01, 2023 at 11:23PM

I still have my fair share of creeps. Being a woman that comes with the territory unfortunately. I have resting bitch face and friends have told me they thought I was a bitch or intimidating before meeting me lol I think for those more reserved, it takes a lot more work to seem approachable. It’s not impossible but if that’s what you want, you’ll have to work at it and go out of your comfort zone more often than not. Networking could be a way to make friends! There are so many avenues where the baseline is just meeting people which ultimately is the first step. December 01, 2023 at 11:23PM

To be fair, the doctor doesn’t care about your sexuality, they mostly care if you are having sex at all and generally how, to better understand the medical care you may need. December 01, 2023 at 11:13PM

That’s good but everyone is different, my parents are the healthiest relationship I’ve ever seen and they spoke to me about the importance of intimacy, emotionally and mentally growing up. And my husband and I are the healthiest couple among our peers and we definitely make sex a priority. That’s doesn’t mean we have it everyday but it’s an important part of our relationship and we try not to neglect it. It’s gotten harder and harder to do that but it’s important to us. December 01, 2023 at 11:09PM

I work book retail so no sex products, but we carry books on sex and have carried Penthouse mags in the past and i've always been one of the least awkward of my coworkers with them because i just mostly Don't Care. So if a customer leaves a penthouse in the men's bathroom or something i'm fine taking it and throwing it away, when other coworkers get really upset/grossed out. Only times I feel a little embarrassed are when a customer spends forever looking through sex books or there was a time when I checked out a coworker who was buying a sex book and I felt a little awkward haha. November 30, 2023 at 11:14PM

You’re welcome! :) November 30, 2023 at 11:12PM

Thank your for this information 😭💙 November 30, 2023 at 11:08PM

Ace and aro people aren’t lonely just because they don’t want s*x or a relationship November 30, 2023 at 11:07PM

I work overseas on expedition cruise ships and in research. I find it impossible to make friends on contracts because they all want something more and in most cases just want to hook up and actually have no respect for you as a human. To be honest I am not a hook up kind of girl and the work environment and I am in is. I don't want to quit my lifestyle but I really dream of having a family someday and I feel my clock ticking. Also I really just want to date a best friend and go on adventures together not looking for looks or money never been that type of girl either but i keep ending up with people who have no respect for me. I wanted to know apps or best advice for these environments to find people who actually want to date not people who say they do just to try to sleep with you. Feel like I will only find that though if I switch my career... ​ Submitted November 30, 2023 at 12:15AM I work overseas on expedition cruise ships and in research. I find it impossible to make f...

You're definitely aromantic, but we need more info to see if you're ace. Sexual attraction is seeing a person (and maybe getting to know them a bit) and wanting to have sex with them. If you feel that regularly, you're allo, if not, you're ace. November 28, 2023 at 11:08PM

Can't relate unfortunately, but wanted to point our that it's even worse for men than for women. Men are doubly expected to be promiscuous and want sex even more, and all of this because of gender roles and society's expectations to have sex! November 28, 2023 at 11:06PM

I suppose you could think of it that way if that’s what works for you. Though I personally wouldn’t consider body worship and sex as inherently the same thing. There’s certainly some overlap, sure, and you could definitely treat sex as an act of body worship if you’d like to. I adore deep, spiritual connection. Not unlike what you describe, engaging all the senses. But I’m also sex-averse, so do with that what you will. November 27, 2023 at 11:23PM

For me, yes (trans men btw). But I don't understand why someone being trans is linked to an asexual November 27, 2023 at 11:22PM

Gray-ace here. Freaking horrifying when it happens and you're not prepared for it. Genuinely thought I was going crazy for a while there November 26, 2023 at 11:13PM

I’m (33F) seeing this guy (36M) for two months almost. We were messing around the other day and he teased me about something and I acted like I was going to smack him. To which he replied, “I love you”. We have never said this to one another, but he said it like it was the most natural thing. I said, “what did you just say?” He said it was an accident and not to read into it. What? How can I not read into it? I don’t see him as the kind of guy that throws ‘I love you’ around. Is this how he really feels? Maybe he’s just not ready to say it to me? Or was it really some slip of the tongue? I can’t tell. I tried to ask him about it but he made a joke like he didn’t really want to delve into it. Submitted November 26, 2023 at 12:15AM I’m (33F) seeing this guy (36M) for two months almost. We were messing around the other day and he teased me about something and I acted like I was going to smack him. To which he replied, “I love you”. We have never said this to one another, but he sa...

That is an amazing presentation, very well done! Thank you! November 24, 2023 at 11:30PM

I'm 22 and am by no means ready November 24, 2023 at 11:30PM

I am afraid to call them out, they can act rather explosively at times, especially when you tell them they are wrong. Thank you for the reply! November 24, 2023 at 11:26PM

I struggle the most in the gay community I feel that. I want to engage with the pan aspect of my identity more, but a lot of the gay community seems to focus on sex specifically and it's annoying. Because so many people's romantic identity matches their sexuality, there's not spaces for queer romanticism that don't frequently cross over into sexuality. In contrast there are tons of spaces about hetero romance that don't focus on sex and at most occasionally allude to it. November 24, 2023 at 11:24PM

Here wondering the same. November 23, 2023 at 11:11PM

I think that's because allos go into a relationship because of sexual attraction. While asexuals don't have that extra noise, so our selection is more oriented towards long lasting stuff like personality, morals, etc November 22, 2023 at 11:32PM

I really like this reply. A lot of people feel a need to be physically and sexually desired and not having that can hurt. Either you two can figure out a way to compensate for that need not being filled or, as this commenter says, maybe you’re simply not compatible sexually. You could explore ethically non-monogamous relationships or understand that this is a barrier that maybe can’t be reconciled November 22, 2023 at 11:31PM

So I matched with this girl on a dating app, and we’ve been talking for a couple weeks now. We were gonna try and make plans to go out on a date but with thanksgiving this weekend that made it a challenge. All of a sudden she says and I quote “Soo...I am always honest to a fault so I need you to know that I do need to ask for a little space for a little bit. I am not ghosting you which is why I am telling you this. I just need some space. I hope you understand. I'm also asking for patience.”. What should I do? I wanna give her space cause I enjoy talking to her, and we’ve been talking every single day. Just looking for advice on what to do. Submitted November 22, 2023 at 12:13AM So I matched with this girl on a dating app, and we’ve been talking for a couple weeks now. We were gonna try and make plans to go out on a date but with thanksgiving this weekend that made it a challenge. All of a sudden she says and I quote “Soo...I am always honest to a fault so I need you to know...

I want to have a romantic attraction but I just can't find myself feeling like that I guess. November 20, 2023 at 10:54PM

For context I’m new to this dating world, I find it very hard talking to people face to face so I decided to try online dating. I recently started talking with this guy who wouldn’t talk that much on text, but when we’re on call he wouldn’t shut up. I asked him about it and he says it’s because he doesn’t talk that much in general he’s more of a “listener”. I understand that, but a friend of mine joked about maybe he’s hiding something and doesn’t want leaked chats. Am I overthinking? HELP! Submitted November 20, 2023 at 12:01AM For context I’m new to this dating world, I find it very hard talking to people face to face so I decided to try online dating. I recently started talking with this guy who wouldn’t talk that much on text, but when we’re on call he wouldn’t shut up. I asked him about it and he says it’s because he doesn’t talk that much in general he’s more of a “listener”. I understand that, but a friend of mine joked about maybe he’s hiding something and doesn’t want l...

Throwaway account. I started talking to this guy in September, went out with him on two dates. I made out with him on the second date and we decided to see where things would go. I have an issue with making out that I’ve struggled with for years, where I feel awful after I do it because I generally like to get physically intimate with someone only after I emotionally connect with them or am in a committed relationship with them. However, I have still ended up doing casual for quite a number of times against my better judgement. So after I started talking to him, I made out with another friend of mine whom I’ve been attracted to physically for a year now. It’s just physical attraction, but I felt awful afterwards as if I was cheating on this guy and I told him about it. He was understanding but also asked me what exactly we did (details), was it just kissing or more etc and I felt uncomfortable about it, and he has brought that up again and again. I told him we just kissed because I do...

Ummm, I’ll do my very best to keep it as short as possible but I apologize in advance if it’s long. (Sorry for mobile) I (F27) left an abusive relationship almost two years ago, and just recently my therapist said she thought it would be good for me to start dating again. I really struggle to identify if something is a red flag or I’m overthinking because of trauma. I started talking to this guy 30M we’ll call John. John and I really hit it off. Had a ton in common, held good conversations, really sweet. We moved from Tinder to messaging on Snapchat and it was going smoothly. I asked him after a few days if he wanted to plan to meet up and he said he wasn’t ready yet, he was kinda nervous and self conscious and wanted to wait a little longer. I completely understood. I’m usually really shy too. I reassured him and we kept just messaging and talking on the phone. He started to get clingy and really sappy and at first it was kind of nice. It was sweet. But it’s gotten to a point it’s...