Am I wrong?

I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month and a half. We used to be friends back during middle school, and we’ve been talking on social media for a while. We’ve gotten really close, but we haven’t met in person yet. I’ve cancelled on him twice. I told him that I’m not ready and I tried to end things with him by saying I’m not in the right space mentally for a relationship or simply put even a connection that demands effort and attention. My work is incredibly busy as well, I work on a small team as an analyst and I don’t even have a moment to take a lunch break. He has kids so he’s pretty much limited on time as well. I communicated with him that I have a habit of going mia, being too overwhelmed to talk and that I’m not mentally able to be the person that he needs. I said I didn’t want to hurt him or waste his time. He also knows that I’m talking to other men. These were his responses: - that wouldn’t waste my taste - I’m fine before you and will be fine after - you can’t assume you’d hurt me

At the end of that discussion, we decided that we could continue talking because he’s aware of my issues. Also, on the other hand, he’s a bit pushy and sexual. He constantly asks for inappropriate photos and talks about sex very often.

With that being said, he’s Been very shady since I tried to end things. He’s brought it up, and he’s even brought up the fact that I have a roster (talk to other men) and he makes it seem like a joke but he brings it up. So on Friday I messaged him in the morning about not being in a social mood, and I wasn’t very active throughout the day. I wrote him a few times and apologized for being absent each time. I told him I would try to take a moment to respond but never got the moment. So then at the end of the day I apologized again. He left me on read for a day and then wrote me back and said he was debating on hitting me up because I decide when I want to dip on him. He said that I have a habit of not communicating but I do. I tell him when my day is busy, I apologize for being MIA when I am. He goes MIA on me all the time and I’m fine with it. I told him that my job is very busy and that I can’t contact him as often as I would like, but EVERYNIGHT I stay awake late so that I can give him attention. I always say “I’m settled down, I can give you my full attention now. “ and take the time to talk with him. But he still doesn’t seem to care. He asked me today if we’re meeting this week, I said I can’t until later in the week because I have to be in the office. I said that also, after 6:30 will only work for me because I’m in meetings all day. So then he started to be passive aggressive again. At this point I want to tell him that it’s just not going to work.

I just feel confused because I warned him about these things and he said he was okay. But it’s like it’s not. I don’t know if it’s still with the effort. We haven’t even met yet and I feel like we’re already having too much tension? I can’t handle someone who will be passive aggressive like this. I agree with communication but he doesn’t communicate with me and I make the best effort to communicate with him. He’s even shaded me on his FB page. It just feels like hes still upset that I tried to end things with him. But I tried for this very reason.

Thoughts?

Submitted December 04, 2023 at 12:16AM

I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month and a half. We used to be friends back during middle school, and we’ve been talking on social media for a while. We’ve gotten really close, but we haven’t met in person yet. I’ve cancelled on him twice. I told him that I’m not ready and I tried to end things with him by saying I’m not in the right space mentally for a relationship or simply put even a connection that demands effort and attention. My work is incredibly busy as well, I work on a small team as an analyst and I don’t even have a moment to take a lunch break. He has kids so he’s pretty much limited on time as well. I communicated with him that I have a habit of going mia, being too overwhelmed to talk and that I’m not mentally able to be the person that he needs. I said I didn’t want to hurt him or waste his time. He also knows that I’m talking to other men. These were his responses:- that wouldn’t waste my taste - I’m fine before you and will be fine after - you can’t assume you’d hurt meAt the end of that discussion, we decided that we could continue talking because he’s aware of my issues. Also, on the other hand, he’s a bit pushy and sexual. He constantly asks for inappropriate photos and talks about sex very often. With that being said, he’s Been very shady since I tried to end things. He’s brought it up, and he’s even brought up the fact that I have a roster (talk to other men) and he makes it seem like a joke but he brings it up. So on Friday I messaged him in the morning about not being in a social mood, and I wasn’t very active throughout the day. I wrote him a few times and apologized for being absent each time. I told him I would try to take a moment to respond but never got the moment. So then at the end of the day I apologized again. He left me on read for a day and then wrote me back and said he was debating on hitting me up because I decide when I want to dip on him. He said that I have a habit of not communicating but I do. I tell him when my day is busy, I apologize for being MIA when I am. He goes MIA on me all the time and I’m fine with it. I told him that my job is very busy and that I can’t contact him as often as I would like, but EVERYNIGHT I stay awake late so that I can give him attention. I always say “I’m settled down, I can give you my full attention now. “ and take the time to talk with him. But he still doesn’t seem to care. He asked me today if we’re meeting this week, I said I can’t until later in the week because I have to be in the office. I said that also, after 6:30 will only work for me because I’m in meetings all day. So then he started to be passive aggressive again. At this point I want to tell him that it’s just not going to work. I just feel confused because I warned him about these things and he said he was okay. But it’s like it’s not. I don’t know if it’s still with the effort. We haven’t even met yet and I feel like we’re already having too much tension? I can’t handle someone who will be passive aggressive like this. I agree with communication but he doesn’t communicate with me and I make the best effort to communicate with him. He’s even shaded me on his FB page. It just feels like hes still upset that I tried to end things with him. But I tried for this very reason. Thoughts?