Coincidences, dating and house issue

Here comes a shitty header and sorry for whiny post below. I want to ask for advises (hoping for serious advice), as I'm in an unique situation where anyone who know me, read this and will know this is me. Maybe I'll even get backlashes since it's reddit(mercy please)

In context, I (F 33) met a guy(M 30)through at least 3 coincidences which lead to us meeting in an dating event (singles event which I didn't emwnt to join)we attended. During the event and after we found more coincidences and similarities in hobbies (we like manga, anime etc).

We went for first date 1 week after, I thought it went well. He already told me his goals in relationship (only serious, married for love aft dating 2yrs and have kid by what age etc) which the timeline I might not be able to meet (more into it later)

At first I wanted to keep my option open and date more guys since I was out of dating scene for 6yrs and felt it just feel crazy if I just go for the first guy who approached me. But all these thoughts went away immediately after finding out we shared the same birth date(not year) and even same hour! I thought it's really is fate.

On 2nd date, I told him about my unique situation. I'm an orphan who bought a house with my younger brother (on 25 years mortgage). And in my country if I got married, he cannot buy a house unless I sold mine (I owe 1/3 share and we need to live in the house till 2030 to well it)

My timeline did not match with him. Actually he wanted to give it up. After talking and coming up with all options. We decided to best move in to my house after married (if bro agrees) and go out rent only if we had kid (I can't buy a house with him since I am already co-owner of 1)

I know these all escalated quickly into a 7 yrs life plan since our status is not rs yet(were only in 2nd date aft event). He told me he has good feeling for me, like my personality and efforts but he didn't know the heartache feeling if he feel he had to let me go. He said he had that feeling when he got rejected before (2 girls). I told him thats not romantic feeling he is just feeling heartbroken due to rejection but he doesn't believe. Seem he want to feel heart aching to be serious.

Now I just feel I poured out everything abt me but I possibly cannot give him that heartache feel he wanted(which I believe is from rejection). He want to try 2 more dates but that will became him rejecting me. I myself thought it's fate but I feel like I should reject him already since my situation is hard for him and he didn't have enough feel. Even if I reject him now and he felt heartache, I wouldn't want him back since I thought actually I was rejected first..maybe he still won't feel it since we have uncontrollable reason why (my house issue might defer his plan)

TLDR: Several coincidences brought me and a guy together, found out we ever share same bday and born in same hour. Felt like fate. But my unique situation escalated me/us to create a years life plan timeline, which he accepted. However he want to feel heartache (Which came from rejection from other girls previously) for us to be in a confirmed rs. I don't think I can give him that feeling and thought fate is nothing and I should just reject him before he do.

Thank you for reading.



Submitted December 24, 2023 at 12:06AM

Here comes a shitty header and sorry for whiny post below. I want to ask for advises (hoping for serious advice), as I'm in an unique situation where anyone who know me, read this and will know this is me.Maybe I'll even get backlashes since it's reddit(mercy please)In context,I (F 33) met a guy(M 30)through at least 3 coincidences which lead to us meeting in an dating event (singles event which I didn't emwnt to join)we attended. During the event and after we found more coincidences and similarities in hobbies (we like manga, anime etc).We went for first date 1 week after, I thought it went well. He already told me his goals in relationship (only serious, married for love aft dating 2yrs and have kid by what age etc) which the timeline I might not be able to meet (more into it later)At first I wanted to keep my option open and date more guys since I was out of dating scene for 6yrs and felt it just feel crazy if I just go for the first guy who approached me.But all these thoughts went away immediately after finding out we shared the same birth date(not year) and even same hour! I thought it's really is fate.On 2nd date, I told him about my unique situation. I'm an orphan who bought a house with my younger brother (on 25 years mortgage). And in my country if I got married, he cannot buy a house unless I sold mine (I owe 1/3 share and we need to live in the house till 2030 to well it)My timeline did not match with him. Actually he wanted to give it up. After talking and coming up with all options. We decided to best move in to my house after married (if bro agrees) and go out rent only if we had kid (I can't buy a house with him since I am already co-owner of 1)I know these all escalated quickly into a 7 yrs life plan since our status is not rs yet(were only in 2nd date aft event). He told me he has good feeling for me, like my personality and efforts but he didn't know the heartache feeling if he feel he had to let me go. He said he had that feeling when he got rejected before (2 girls). I told him thats not romantic feeling he is just feeling heartbroken due to rejection but he doesn't believe. Seem he want to feel heart aching to be serious.Now I just feel I poured out everything abt me but I possibly cannot give him that heartache feel he wanted(which I believe is from rejection). He want to try 2 more dates but that will became him rejecting me.I myself thought it's fate but I feel like I should reject him already since my situation is hard for him and he didn't have enough feel. Even if I reject him now and he felt heartache, I wouldn't want him back since I thought actually I was rejected first..maybe he still won't feel it since we have uncontrollable reason why (my house issue might defer his plan)TLDR:Several coincidences brought me and a guy together, found out we ever share same bday and born in same hour. Felt like fate.But my unique situation escalated me/us to create a years life plan timeline, which he accepted. However he want to feel heartache (Which came from rejection from other girls previously) for us to be in a confirmed rs. I don't think I can give him that feeling and thought fate is nothing and I should just reject him before he do.Thank you for reading.
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