my ex boyfriend wants me back, but he cheated

I (21F) met my ex boyfriend (20M) a year ago in college. He was the type of guy who didn’t care much about school and thought frat parties were cooler. I have been the first girl to make him want to have a public relationship.

In the beginning of our relationship there was a huge cheating incident. I wanted to be done with him, but he begged for me back. I didn’t struggle with forgiving him because it was a week or 2 into the relationship and we had not even began being intimate with each other. We were just good friends that kissed sometimes and with a label that wasn’t super public yet.

After forgiving him, he gained my trust back. We spent so much time together and basically lived together in my small apartment. For the past 8 months our relationship was extremely public. I met his sister and stayed with them both for vacations. I also made him a part of my family. We were truly inseparable and had a lot of love for each other.

Recently, he admitted to being unfaithful to me. He said he couldn’t lie to me any longer. During our relationship he kissed people on 3 different occasions. Once was a girl at a party.. Another time at a music festival he kissed 2 different girls, and a week ago he got drunk and kissed a guy.

Some background on my ex and why I make any excuses for him: He grew up in foster care and went through lots of verbal and physical abuse. He has no family besides his older sister. Before I came into his life, he had no aspirations and held low expectations for his future. His friends even claimed he was a different person with me in his life. He no longer hung out with them, isolated himself from other girls, and stopped partying and began to focus on schoolwork. His friends would beg him to go out, but he’d stay with me at home to watch movies instead out of choice.

However, he made the mistake of kissing others on all those occasions. He said it has been the worst mistake of his life. I recieved a 2 page letter that was incredibly mature. He knows that sorry doesn’t fix anything, and he is facing how painful it is to be in a world without me. My ex boyfriend has never been one to openly express his feelings or pain about anything, so learning about how he feels is new to me.

I hate to say that I am in love with this boy and he was my best friend and lover. It is hard to do anything without him and I feel incredibly lonely despite trying to meet new people. He wants to try again and wants to wait as long as it takes.

Would it be stupid of me to take him back? Now that I have calmed down, I have told myself that it is “just kissing”. It is still so wrong to do, but I believe I am able to move past it. If it involved anything more intimate I would have blocked him and moved on. i want to propose that we start as friends and then slowly work our way back up to lovers again.

tldr: my ex boyfriend kissed people on 3 occasions during our relationship and recently was honest about it. he wants me back. is this forgivable and would it make me stupid to take him back?

Submitted September 01, 2021 at 12:07AM

I (21F) met my ex boyfriend (20M) a year ago in college. He was the type of guy who didn’t care much about school and thought frat parties were cooler. I have been the first girl to make him want to have a public relationship.In the beginning of our relationship there was a huge cheating incident. I wanted to be done with him, but he begged for me back. I didn’t struggle with forgiving him because it was a week or 2 into the relationship and we had not even began being intimate with each other. We were just good friends that kissed sometimes and with a label that wasn’t super public yet.After forgiving him, he gained my trust back. We spent so much time together and basically lived together in my small apartment. For the past 8 months our relationship was extremely public. I met his sister and stayed with them both for vacations. I also made him a part of my family. We were truly inseparable and had a lot of love for each other.Recently, he admitted to being unfaithful to me. He said he couldn’t lie to me any longer. During our relationship he kissed people on 3 different occasions. Once was a girl at a party.. Another time at a music festival he kissed 2 different girls, and a week ago he got drunk and kissed a guy.Some background on my ex and why I make any excuses for him: He grew up in foster care and went through lots of verbal and physical abuse. He has no family besides his older sister. Before I came into his life, he had no aspirations and held low expectations for his future. His friends even claimed he was a different person with me in his life. He no longer hung out with them, isolated himself from other girls, and stopped partying and began to focus on schoolwork. His friends would beg him to go out, but he’d stay with me at home to watch movies instead out of choice.However, he made the mistake of kissing others on all those occasions. He said it has been the worst mistake of his life. I recieved a 2 page letter that was incredibly mature. He knows that sorry doesn’t fix anything, and he is facing how painful it is to be in a world without me. My ex boyfriend has never been one to openly express his feelings or pain about anything, so learning about how he feels is new to me.I hate to say that I am in love with this boy and he was my best friend and lover. It is hard to do anything without him and I feel incredibly lonely despite trying to meet new people. He wants to try again and wants to wait as long as it takes.Would it be stupid of me to take him back? Now that I have calmed down, I have told myself that it is “just kissing”. It is still so wrong to do, but I believe I am able to move past it. If it involved anything more intimate I would have blocked him and moved on. i want to propose that we start as friends and then slowly work our way back up to lovers again.tldr: my ex boyfriend kissed people on 3 occasions during our relationship and recently was honest about it. he wants me back. is this forgivable and would it make me stupid to take him back?