Latecomer to exploration

As a result of major life changes - giving up alcohol, fixing my hormone levels, having a lot of good therapy, coming off longer term SSRIs, etc, I (M48) am experiencing really profound (and exciting) changes In my sexuality. Quite unexpectedly, I’m finding that not only do I have far kinkier interests than I was ever aware of, but I’m also finding that I can find huge peace in being a sub in the bedroom. That happened by accident when my wife called me her little bitch. The effect was a cross between a lightning bolt and a huge sense of utter safety that I could give up control and let this person be in charge.

This is all very exciting and new, but my wife of 20 years is 52, menopausal and despite the above “accident”, very vanilla. I love her very much, we are tremendously committed and we communicate well, including around these new developments.

She is quite adamant that her bodily changes coupled with her own sexual preferences mean that exploration of my new self is not going to happen and that “joke” will not be something she wants to explore further. I feel tremendously lost and utterly sad. Our commitment to each other means extra-marital activity is not an option.

Do I have to put this part of myself away and pretend it doesn’t exist? The thought of doing so fills me with despair.

What do??



Submitted August 31, 2021 at 11:52PM

As a result of major life changes - giving up alcohol, fixing my hormone levels, having a lot of good therapy, coming off longer term SSRIs, etc, I (M48) am experiencing really profound (and exciting) changes In my sexuality. Quite unexpectedly, I’m finding that not only do I have far kinkier interests than I was ever aware of, but I’m also finding that I can find huge peace in being a sub in the bedroom. That happened by accident when my wife called me her little bitch. The effect was a cross between a lightning bolt and a huge sense of utter safety that I could give up control and let this person be in charge.This is all very exciting and new, but my wife of 20 years is 52, menopausal and despite the above “accident”, very vanilla. I love her very much, we are tremendously committed and we communicate well, including around these new developments.She is quite adamant that her bodily changes coupled with her own sexual preferences mean that exploration of my new self is not going to happen and that “joke” will not be something she wants to explore further. I feel tremendously lost and utterly sad. Our commitment to each other means extra-marital activity is not an option.Do I have to put this part of myself away and pretend it doesn’t exist? The thought of doing so fills me with despair.What do??
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