I'm a 20 year old female virgin and completely fine with that....but everyone arounds me seems to have a problem with it

I have never been in a relationship and never kissed anyone before. I'm also not in a rush to find someone to do all this with. I have just figured out I'm bisexual one year ago. So yes, I'm a confused person.

When I tell people my age about being a virgin and all that, they look at me as if I just killed their mother in front of them. Usually they judge me for it harshly, see me as uptight and boring.

Now, I want to specify that I don't do this out of religion or for saving myself for my husband or something like that (I'm an atheist). I just don't feel comfortable getting close to anynone in a sexual way, especially if I barely know them. Even more with men. The thought of having sex with a man disgusts me to no end most of times because of my father who completely destroyed my view on men and sex. He is a pervert in every bad meaning of the word, taught me that men sexualize and objectify women all the time. I know this isn't true, and I try to work on my issues with men every day. It's just hard to get rid off the trauma.

But I still feel attracted to men, and can imagine myself being in an intimate relationship with them.

My attraction to women is still so new and fresh that I find it hard to explain. I did try to imagine myself having sex with one but it ends up in the same problem with men: I don't know how sex is like and I don't feel like having it with anyone. Having vaginism sure doesn't help either.

I might be asexual, I don't know. I'm a very confused girl. But this also isn't the problem. It's the people that can't accept the fact that I live my life like this, happily single and in no rush at all. I just feel like I still need to get to know myself more before I can be in a sexual relationship.

But what worries me is that I believe the older I get, everyone around me becomes more experienced and eventually no one will want to wait for me. I am very sure I would not be able to have sex with someone after just a few weeks/months. And people nowadays are intimate so fast, a lot of times after just knowing each other for hours or days. (I'm not judging or slut shaming) I feel like if I find someone I'm attracted to who also likes me, they would not be okay with waiting to have sex for a year or maybe more.

I really find it sad that society is so focused on sex all of the time. I just wanna exist without constantly having to explain that, no grandma, I don't have a boyfriend.

Submitted August 31, 2021 at 11:27PM

I have never been in a relationship and never kissed anyone before. I'm also not in a rush to find someone to do all this with. I have just figured out I'm bisexual one year ago. So yes, I'm a confused person.When I tell people my age about being a virgin and all that, they look at me as if I just killed their mother in front of them. Usually they judge me for it harshly, see me as uptight and boring.Now, I want to specify that I don't do this out of religion or for saving myself for my husband or something like that (I'm an atheist). I just don't feel comfortable getting close to anynone in a sexual way, especially if I barely know them. Even more with men. The thought of having sex with a man disgusts me to no end most of times because of my father who completely destroyed my view on men and sex. He is a pervert in every bad meaning of the word, taught me that men sexualize and objectify women all the time. I know this isn't true, and I try to work on my issues with men every day. It's just hard to get rid off the trauma.But I still feel attracted to men, and can imagine myself being in an intimate relationship with them.My attraction to women is still so new and fresh that I find it hard to explain. I did try to imagine myself having sex with one but it ends up in the same problem with men: I don't know how sex is like and I don't feel like having it with anyone. Having vaginism sure doesn't help either.I might be asexual, I don't know. I'm a very confused girl. But this also isn't the problem. It's the people that can't accept the fact that I live my life like this, happily single and in no rush at all. I just feel like I still need to get to know myself more before I can be in a sexual relationship.But what worries me is that I believe the older I get, everyone around me becomes more experienced and eventually no one will want to wait for me. I am very sure I would not be able to have sex with someone after just a few weeks/months. And people nowadays are intimate so fast, a lot of times after just knowing each other for hours or days. (I'm not judging or slut shaming) I feel like if I find someone I'm attracted to who also likes me, they would not be okay with waiting to have sex for a year or maybe more.I really find it sad that society is so focused on sex all of the time. I just wanna exist without constantly having to explain that, no grandma, I don't have a boyfriend.