Need Help/Advice About Overcoming Anxiety Related to Orgasming

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for about two months now and have basically been messing around and such the entire time we've been together. I was a virgin and he was my first relationship, so he is more experienced than I am which makes me happy that he knows what he's doing.

For the most part, the sex is great. I was never interested in sex or anything before him, but he just really does it for me. He knows how to press all the right buttons for me and it feels great. There is just one slight problem. Every single time he gets me close to having an orgasm, either through oral or rubbing me, I freak out and make him stop. Like, I'm all in the mood and I hype myself up every time to just let it happen, but then I get close, I feel this pressure in my hips and legs and know it's coming, and I just can't handle it anymore.

I have no idea why I do this. I've never had an orgasm before, but I want one. When we first started having sex, I never thought much about it because I was so focused on him and liked sex more for the emotional connection than the actual physical pleasure. But now that the physical pleasure is so good,
I want to orgasm. And he wants me to come, constantly trying new things or doing things he knows makes me just unravel and melt. I've brought this up to him as he asked why I keep stopping him, but he isn't sure why I do this either.

I'm not sure if it's just because the pressure I feel in my hips and legs snaps me back to reality and I feel like I'll be embarrassed to make a mess on the bed or something (cause it feels like I need to pee), but I just can't stop myself from stopping him. Has anyone else ever experienced this or have some advice for how I can stop stopping him (and before anyone even suggests it, no I will not masturbate or get to know my body and try to have an orgasm by myself before trying to have one with him. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and not even the slightest bit aroused)?



Submitted May 28, 2021 at 01:26AM

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for about two months now and have basically been messing around and such the entire time we've been together. I was a virgin and he was my first relationship, so he is more experienced than I am which makes me happy that he knows what he's doing.For the most part, the sex is great. I was never interested in sex or anything before him, but he just really does it for me. He knows how to press all the right buttons for me and it feels great. There is just one slight problem. Every single time he gets me close to having an orgasm, either through oral or rubbing me, I freak out and make him stop. Like, I'm all in the mood and I hype myself up every time to just let it happen, but then I get close, I feel this pressure in my hips and legs and know it's coming, and I just can't handle it anymore.I have no idea why I do this. I've never had an orgasm before, but I want one. When we first started having sex, I never thought much about it because I was so focused on him and liked sex more for the emotional connection than the actual physical pleasure. But now that the physical pleasure is so good,I want to orgasm. And he wants me to come, constantly trying new things or doing things he knows makes me just unravel and melt. I've brought this up to him as he asked why I keep stopping him, but he isn't sure why I do this either.I'm not sure if it's just because the pressure I feel in my hips and legs snaps me back to reality and I feel like I'll be embarrassed to make a mess on the bed or something (cause it feels like I need to pee), but I just can't stop myself from stopping him. Has anyone else ever experienced this or have some advice for how I can stop stopping him (and before anyone even suggests it, no I will not masturbate or get to know my body and try to have an orgasm by myself before trying to have one with him. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and not even the slightest bit aroused)?
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