I’m not sure if this belongs here, but I am terrified of being stimulated sexually.

I don’t know if this belongs here, but I genuinely don’t know where else to go for advice. I’m an 18 yo female, and though I don’t have any sexual experience, I have interest in sex/sexuality. But sometimes when I think about actually having sex (specifically having oral sex performed on me) and experiencing orgasm I become genuinely terrified of the sensation, and often am reduced to tears. It seems to be triggered specifically on the mention of female sexuality, especially regarding the clitoris. It seems like a stretch that I think immediately that I may have been sexually abused/have had sexual trauma, especially since I cannot recall any time that has come even close to happening, I genuinely can’t think of any other explanation. I know this post in awkward, but does anyone have any advice/similar experience?

EDIT: i also generally dislike masturbation. when i do, it’s typically over my clothes, and doesn’t do much for me. in fact, it’s often more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable. i have never reached orgasm, and am honestly very scared to. everywhere i look links this to shame around masturbation, but i can honestly say I feel no shame about it. Also, it’s probably important to include that I am on anti-depressants, of which sexual dysfunction is a known side effect. Every dream I’ve had where I am sexually aroused (I get the most aroused from dreams), I find the arousal, and trying to satisfy it, really uncomfortable, and sometimes painful. Overall, I do feel shame, not about sexuality, but about my seeming dysfunction for it. I just feel like my body doesn’t work.

Submitted May 27, 2021 at 11:55PM

I don’t know if this belongs here, but I genuinely don’t know where else to go for advice. I’m an 18 yo female, and though I don’t have any sexual experience, I have interest in sex/sexuality. But sometimes when I think about actually having sex (specifically having oral sex performed on me) and experiencing orgasm I become genuinely terrified of the sensation, and often am reduced to tears. It seems to be triggered specifically on the mention of female sexuality, especially regarding the clitoris. It seems like a stretch that I think immediately that I may have been sexually abused/have had sexual trauma, especially since I cannot recall any time that has come even close to happening, I genuinely can’t think of any other explanation. I know this post in awkward, but does anyone have any advice/similar experience?EDIT: i also generally dislike masturbation. when i do, it’s typically over my clothes, and doesn’t do much for me. in fact, it’s often more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable. i have never reached orgasm, and am honestly very scared to. everywhere i look links this to shame around masturbation, but i can honestly say I feel no shame about it. Also, it’s probably important to include that I am on anti-depressants, of which sexual dysfunction is a known side effect. Every dream I’ve had where I am sexually aroused (I get the most aroused from dreams), I find the arousal, and trying to satisfy it, really uncomfortable, and sometimes painful. Overall, I do feel shame, not about sexuality, but about my seeming dysfunction for it. I just feel like my body doesn’t work.