Weird and awful situation with senior guy from work, need advice please, particularly from male perspective

So one senior guy at work, I've discovered is in a long term relationship with a guy that he is presumably not that invested in, but I am a woman, and there's awful tension between us. He's not a direct manager of mine, but rather a manager of my managers.

When we first met, I wouldn't give him much attention, because, why would I? I then would catch him staring at me sadly, and even angrily. A couple of times, he gave me deer in the headlights and from then on would turn up with a huge smile plastered on his face. If ever I gave him attention, I would notice him walking around like an idiot with this huge grin on his face. I tried to keep him at bay, but he'd just look super disappointed.

He would go bright red as soon as he saw me, even from afar, then there was the constant gazing into my eyes until I caught him, watching me whilst I interacted with people then quickly jerking away. He used to linger near where I was working, and then one day called me into this meeting where I realized he had been listening to what was happening all those times, and was now trying to give me advice on them. The tension was awful, we were staring at each other from the cross the room and just rolling our lips at each other.

Sometimes he'd make strong eye contact like for a period of 20 seconds, as if he was trying to tell me something. I'd look down and back up several times and he'd still be staring into my eyes.

After a long time of not seeing each other I saw him, said hey, and he suddenly put his hands on his heart, didn't know what to do with his hands. Again, the turning bright red. He would start chasing me around, giving me compliments, noticing changes in my appearance down to the fine detail, nicknaming me after royalty... I tried not to engage with this, and then he started getting annoyed whenever he saw me talking to other males, always keeping an eye on me then.

When he was checking me out in front of me and came over to talk to me, one time, he was so happy he was literally dancing in front of me, it looks like he's jumping out of himself, and another senior guy was just staring at him, like 'what the hell' until he finally noticed how he was acting and stopped.

Now we're working on a project together and things are getting closer, it's getting more unbearable. He can't seem to just leave it, he always has to turn up where I am, or watch me in secret, from afar then I catch him and he quickly runs away. He'll throw me winks when he sees me, and if I smile at him he looks like the happiest man on earth.

This situation is terrible for me, not only can I incessantly not stop thinking about him, but he's a manager of managers, plus he's presumably bisexual and in a relationship with a guy already. I think their relationship must not be going well because that guy he's in a relationship with randomly turned up at our work the other day too, it's as if he's keeping an eye on him.

I don't know what to do, I'm getting butterflies over this guy and I just want a solution. I don't want to feel this intense attraction towards him, but he's made it happen, and I don't know how to handle it.

Submitted September 26, 2020 at 12:14AM

So one senior guy at work, I've discovered is in a long term relationship with a guy that he is presumably not that invested in, but I am a woman, and there's awful tension between us. He's not a direct manager of mine, but rather a manager of my managers.When we first met, I wouldn't give him much attention, because, why would I? I then would catch him staring at me sadly, and even angrily. A couple of times, he gave me deer in the headlights and from then on would turn up with a huge smile plastered on his face. If ever I gave him attention, I would notice him walking around like an idiot with this huge grin on his face. I tried to keep him at bay, but he'd just look super disappointed.He would go bright red as soon as he saw me, even from afar, then there was the constant gazing into my eyes until I caught him, watching me whilst I interacted with people then quickly jerking away. He used to linger near where I was working, and then one day called me into this meeting where I realized he had been listening to what was happening all those times, and was now trying to give me advice on them. The tension was awful, we were staring at each other from the cross the room and just rolling our lips at each other.Sometimes he'd make strong eye contact like for a period of 20 seconds, as if he was trying to tell me something. I'd look down and back up several times and he'd still be staring into my eyes.After a long time of not seeing each other I saw him, said hey, and he suddenly put his hands on his heart, didn't know what to do with his hands. Again, the turning bright red. He would start chasing me around, giving me compliments, noticing changes in my appearance down to the fine detail, nicknaming me after royalty... I tried not to engage with this, and then he started getting annoyed whenever he saw me talking to other males, always keeping an eye on me then.When he was checking me out in front of me and came over to talk to me, one time, he was so happy he was literally dancing in front of me, it looks like he's jumping out of himself, and another senior guy was just staring at him, like 'what the hell' until he finally noticed how he was acting and stopped.Now we're working on a project together and things are getting closer, it's getting more unbearable. He can't seem to just leave it, he always has to turn up where I am, or watch me in secret, from afar then I catch him and he quickly runs away. He'll throw me winks when he sees me, and if I smile at him he looks like the happiest man on earth.This situation is terrible for me, not only can I incessantly not stop thinking about him, but he's a manager of managers, plus he's presumably bisexual and in a relationship with a guy already. I think their relationship must not be going well because that guy he's in a relationship with randomly turned up at our work the other day too, it's as if he's keeping an eye on him.I don't know what to do, I'm getting butterflies over this guy and I just want a solution. I don't want to feel this intense attraction towards him, but he's made it happen, and I don't know how to handle it.