How can I (23F) ask out a guy (22M) without being awkward or putting him on the spot

I am fairly inexperienced with “dating” as my only serious relationship (which was also my first relationship) started long distance and anything afterwards was strictly physical.

I’m an over-thinker, so please bear with me.

I met this guy in one of my classes about a year ago and we’ve been friendly anytime we see each other, but not close enough to exchange numbers. Of course I decided to make a move right before we all had to leave campus because of the virus, so that didn’t pan out, but now we are back, and I see him a couple times a week in class or on campus. I friended him on FB last week (and he friended me back) even though I honestly never use it, but why not, right?

I’ve decided I want to ask him to coffee but I’m not sure how to go about it. Would it be weird to message him on FB? Like not appropriate because I don’t have his number, so reaching him on FB is overstepping? Should I wait until the right moment in person? I’m just worried there won’t be a “right moment” and I’ll wimp out.

And is “hey! Want to get a coffee sometime?” a clear enough indication of my interest? I don’t want him to feel like he’s hurting my feelings if he chooses to say no, and I also don’t want him to feel awkward around me for the rest of the semester because I made him uncomfortable (especially in the class where he’s my TA).

Any advice would be appreciated. I’m so out of my element here!



Submitted September 25, 2020 at 11:58PM

I am fairly inexperienced with “dating” as my only serious relationship (which was also my first relationship) started long distance and anything afterwards was strictly physical.I’m an over-thinker, so please bear with me.I met this guy in one of my classes about a year ago and we’ve been friendly anytime we see each other, but not close enough to exchange numbers. Of course I decided to make a move right before we all had to leave campus because of the virus, so that didn’t pan out, but now we are back, and I see him a couple times a week in class or on campus. I friended him on FB last week (and he friended me back) even though I honestly never use it, but why not, right?I’ve decided I want to ask him to coffee but I’m not sure how to go about it. Would it be weird to message him on FB? Like not appropriate because I don’t have his number, so reaching him on FB is overstepping? Should I wait until the right moment in person? I’m just worried there won’t be a “right moment” and I’ll wimp out.And is “hey! Want to get a coffee sometime?” a clear enough indication of my interest? I don’t want him to feel like he’s hurting my feelings if he chooses to say no, and I also don’t want him to feel awkward around me for the rest of the semester because I made him uncomfortable (especially in the class where he’s my TA).Any advice would be appreciated. I’m so out of my element here!
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