How common is it to date just for fun?

Background: I’m 21. Gender neutral, any pronouns. He is 28. He/they pronouns. I come from a very conservative Christian state and it’s common to be married and already have kids by the time you’re 25. Single people in my home state only date with the intention of getting married and having kids. I’ve always hated that mentality and tried to avoid it as much as possible.

I moved out of state a few months ago (and I don’t plan on going back anytime in the foreseeable future) and met this really cool guy. We hit it off as friends at first and now we’ve been dating for just over a month now and it’s been going really really well. I communicated with him early on that I have no intentions of getting serious (marriage is the last thing I want right now) and that when my uni opens up again I have plans to move across the country to live on-campus. He was totally chill about it and had no complaints.

We don’t have any future plans, only to enjoy what we have right now. I don’t even know if I’m moving away yet, he doesn’t know if he’s staying in state. We don’t know what our future plans are because of COVID-19, so we aren’t too concerned about it. We both agreed that we want each other in our lives and would stay friends if dating didn’t work out. Right now, we’re only seeing each other and we’re dating solely because we enjoy each other’s company, the sex is incredible and we have fun together. There is absolutely nothing serious about this and it’s weird.

I am not used to this mentality because dating with the intentions of getting married was the only dating mentality I’ve known. It’s freaking me out a bit, can y’all give me tips, warnings, possible red flags?

TL,DR; My question is; is it common to date people you have zero future plans with?



Submitted September 25, 2020 at 11:51PM

Background: I’m 21. Gender neutral, any pronouns. He is 28. He/they pronouns. I come from a very conservative Christian state and it’s common to be married and already have kids by the time you’re 25. Single people in my home state only date with the intention of getting married and having kids. I’ve always hated that mentality and tried to avoid it as much as possible.I moved out of state a few months ago (and I don’t plan on going back anytime in the foreseeable future) and met this really cool guy. We hit it off as friends at first and now we’ve been dating for just over a month now and it’s been going really really well. I communicated with him early on that I have no intentions of getting serious (marriage is the last thing I want right now) and that when my uni opens up again I have plans to move across the country to live on-campus. He was totally chill about it and had no complaints.We don’t have any future plans, only to enjoy what we have right now. I don’t even know if I’m moving away yet, he doesn’t know if he’s staying in state. We don’t know what our future plans are because of COVID-19, so we aren’t too concerned about it. We both agreed that we want each other in our lives and would stay friends if dating didn’t work out. Right now, we’re only seeing each other and we’re dating solely because we enjoy each other’s company, the sex is incredible and we have fun together. There is absolutely nothing serious about this and it’s weird.I am not used to this mentality because dating with the intentions of getting married was the only dating mentality I’ve known. It’s freaking me out a bit, can y’all give me tips, warnings, possible red flags?TL,DR; My question is; is it common to date people you have zero future plans with?
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