Wanting to pleasure myself but feeling horribly dysphoric during and after

I'm an FTM male (Assigned female at birth, transitioned to male).
For the past few months, I have been experiencing a lot of body dysphoria (mainly around my chest, voice, and lower bits) It's making looking at myself naked or clothed a big challenge, hell even talking.

I used to be able to get horny, jack off and that be that. Now it's more of a: "Okay I'm horny, but that means I have to touch myself, hear myself, and see myself....all things that are going to make me feel dysphoric afterward and during that fact."

I never really had this issue before and I'm pretty sure it's more than common for many people to feel guilty after indulging so I don't pay that part no mind. I've tried different products for Trans guys to use (Since our anatomy downstairs changes a bit) but they either are too small or they just don't work like they are said to.

I don't mind penetrative stuff, it's most likely where I feel the best anyway but the lingering thoughts of: "This is something a girl would do you know." or "Where did your masculinity go dude?" Still, somehow pop into my head.

I've also tried looking at porn with trans guys in it to feel more validated about my body and how to deal with the cards I'm dealt with. But that backfired as well. (Who would've thought!) I ended up just watching a whole 20 minutes video NOT doing anything but compare my transition to the guy in the video.

(Another bit of intro that I felt could be useful: I am currently talking with this one girl that I like romantically at the moment. She said she's okay with me being trans and has made it very clear too. But I have this worry- or fear I should say of a girl (cis) leaving me or getting bothered by the fact that I cannot provide certain things as a cis man would.)

I was wondering if anybody had tips or tricks to help me out of this funk and find some sort of body confidence :')

TLDR; Trans man struggling with dysphoria and masculinity issues, effects ability to jack off.



Submitted April 24, 2020 at 12:01AM

I'm an FTM male (Assigned female at birth, transitioned to male).For the past few months, I have been experiencing a lot of body dysphoria (mainly around my chest, voice, and lower bits) It's making looking at myself naked or clothed a big challenge, hell even talking.I used to be able to get horny, jack off and that be that. Now it's more of a: "Okay I'm horny, but that means I have to touch myself, hear myself, and see myself....all things that are going to make me feel dysphoric afterward and during that fact."I never really had this issue before and I'm pretty sure it's more than common for many people to feel guilty after indulging so I don't pay that part no mind. I've tried different products for Trans guys to use (Since our anatomy downstairs changes a bit) but they either are too small or they just don't work like they are said to.I don't mind penetrative stuff, it's most likely where I feel the best anyway but the lingering thoughts of: "This is something a girl would do you know." or "Where did your masculinity go dude?" Still, somehow pop into my head.I've also tried looking at porn with trans guys in it to feel more validated about my body and how to deal with the cards I'm dealt with. But that backfired as well. (Who would've thought!) I ended up just watching a whole 20 minutes video NOT doing anything but compare my transition to the guy in the video.(Another bit of intro that I felt could be useful: I am currently talking with this one girl that I like romantically at the moment. She said she's okay with me being trans and has made it very clear too. But I have this worry- or fear I should say of a girl (cis) leaving me or getting bothered by the fact that I cannot provide certain things as a cis man would.)I was wondering if anybody had tips or tricks to help me out of this funk and find some sort of body confidence :')TLDR; Trans man struggling with dysphoria and masculinity issues, effects ability to jack off.
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