My partner (22F) is happy with our relationship and loves me (27M) and I feel the same. However, she has been having intrusive thoughts that tell her to end things. Currently on a "break". Could use some advice on how to proceed

Me and my partner have been dating for about 6 months now. We fell for each other very quickly, and things between us have been great. I absolutely adore her and being around her.

Recently, she told me that she loves me, loves being around me, I make her very happy, I'm very supportive and good to her, and that she sees a future with me - but her brain keeps telling her to end things. She says I'm her best friend and wants a life with me, but the more she dates me, the worse she feels because she's worried she will eventually listen to that voice in her head that says "break up" and hurt me.

But she also isn't sure if she is just sabotaging something good she has in her life - she's terrified of losing me and everything that comes with our relationship (our friendship, and how close she is with my family). If we broke up.. I'd be pretty heartbroken, and it would be very hard for me to stay in contact and be friends - I tried doing that before with an ex, and it was absolutely terrible.

My partner has CPTSD and quiet BPD, I'm guessing caused from the trauma she had growing up. I know about the symptoms, and what kind of behavior is associated with it. She tells me that I do a really good job handling her shit, and I don't find it to be taxing or a burden.

She stopped taking medication a couple months ago for depression. She started seeing a therapist, but has only had maybe 5 or 6 sessions. She's hoping to start a new medication too, and will start DBT treatment in the next month or two hopefully (and then eventually seek treatment for CPTSD).

She hasn't been doing well mentally. She seems most happy when she's around me or with friends. But she's suffering constantly. I'm glad she's taking the early steps of getting better.

We decided to go on a break.. though the first few days of our "break" we still were affectionate and had sex. She's now staying at her grandparents cottage, so we aren't in contact besides texting. The purpose of the break is to give her a chance to be alone and process things and figure out what she's going to do. The plan is to regroup afterwards and see where we are at and talk more about things.

I don't have much experience with breaks. It's hard, because I want to talk things out.. but she wants to space to think because she has so much going on in her head. So I respect that.

We both love each other tremendously, and I want to support her through this - I want to be there for her, I want to continue having a loving fun relationship. But all I can do is just wait until she's ready to talk about things, but she hasn't given any indication of when that is.

If anyone has any advice on how to proceed with this or has gone through something similar, I'd appreciate it

TL;DR : We have a great relationship and both are very happy with each other, but partner is mentally ill and has intrusive thoughts that tell her to leave me. Currently on a "break" so she can figure out what's going on in her head. Need advice on how to proceed



Submitted March 16, 2020 at 12:28AM

Me and my partner have been dating for about 6 months now. We fell for each other very quickly, and things between us have been great. I absolutely adore her and being around her.Recently, she told me that she loves me, loves being around me, I make her very happy, I'm very supportive and good to her, and that she sees a future with me - but her brain keeps telling her to end things. She says I'm her best friend and wants a life with me, but the more she dates me, the worse she feels because she's worried she will eventually listen to that voice in her head that says "break up" and hurt me.But she also isn't sure if she is just sabotaging something good she has in her life - she's terrified of losing me and everything that comes with our relationship (our friendship, and how close she is with my family). If we broke up.. I'd be pretty heartbroken, and it would be very hard for me to stay in contact and be friends - I tried doing that before with an ex, and it was absolutely terrible.My partner has CPTSD and quiet BPD, I'm guessing caused from the trauma she had growing up. I know about the symptoms, and what kind of behavior is associated with it. She tells me that I do a really good job handling her shit, and I don't find it to be taxing or a burden.She stopped taking medication a couple months ago for depression. She started seeing a therapist, but has only had maybe 5 or 6 sessions. She's hoping to start a new medication too, and will start DBT treatment in the next month or two hopefully (and then eventually seek treatment for CPTSD).She hasn't been doing well mentally. She seems most happy when she's around me or with friends. But she's suffering constantly. I'm glad she's taking the early steps of getting better.We decided to go on a break.. though the first few days of our "break" we still were affectionate and had sex. She's now staying at her grandparents cottage, so we aren't in contact besides texting. The purpose of the break is to give her a chance to be alone and process things and figure out what she's going to do. The plan is to regroup afterwards and see where we are at and talk more about things.I don't have much experience with breaks. It's hard, because I want to talk things out.. but she wants to space to think because she has so much going on in her head. So I respect that.We both love each other tremendously, and I want to support her through this - I want to be there for her, I want to continue having a loving fun relationship. But all I can do is just wait until she's ready to talk about things, but she hasn't given any indication of when that is.If anyone has any advice on how to proceed with this or has gone through something similar, I'd appreciate itTL;DR : We have a great relationship and both are very happy with each other, but partner is mentally ill and has intrusive thoughts that tell her to leave me. Currently on a "break" so she can figure out what's going on in her head. Need advice on how to proceed
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