I (late 20s) have been in love with a guy (late 20s) since we were children

I have been in love, as far as I know, with a guy since little school. We have kept in touch over the years and had a few meetings but it never amounted to anything until a few months ago when we slept together. He has spent years, messaging me for sex completely randomly and unexpectedly. I have never told him or others about my feelings so he shouldn't know (we don't socialise together). obviously it means a lot to me... But he's just asking for sex on his end . He asked me once after our recent hookup and I said no because he was drunk and it was 3am. My feelings are very very intense and although I won't say how high when he says jump.. I can't shake this gut wrenching feeling. I spent the longest nights listening to music that remind me of him and crying when I was younger, those songs are now skipped. This isn't common as far as I know.. Or is it? What the fuck is going on and how do I stop it. I'm regularly taken and / or getting laid so it's not that

Tldr: any opinions ,personal stories or advice about being in love with someone over a decade would be welcome



Submitted March 16, 2020 at 12:00AM

I have been in love, as far as I know, with a guy since little school. We have kept in touch over the years and had a few meetings but it never amounted to anything until a few months ago when we slept together. He has spent years, messaging me for sex completely randomly and unexpectedly. I have never told him or others about my feelings so he shouldn't know (we don't socialise together). obviously it means a lot to me... But he's just asking for sex on his end . He asked me once after our recent hookup and I said no because he was drunk and it was 3am. My feelings are very very intense and although I won't say how high when he says jump.. I can't shake this gut wrenching feeling. I spent the longest nights listening to music that remind me of him and crying when I was younger, those songs are now skipped. This isn't common as far as I know.. Or is it? What the fuck is going on and how do I stop it. I'm regularly taken and / or getting laid so it's not thatTldr: any opinions ,personal stories or advice about being in love with someone over a decade would be welcome
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