What am I (24f) doing so wrong that no man ever seems interested in me?

I am a 24 year old female (as seen from my title haha). I have never been asked out and as a result, I’m a kissless virgin in my mid-20s, which is something that I have grown to be very embarrassed about (even my conservative family members make fun of me for it).

I have read a lot of other threads on Reddit where the OP is in a similar position as me, and top answers are always something along the lines of, “Guys are shy, especially around attractive women, just go make the first move!!”

I really hoped that would be the case for me, but I am quickly learning that if a guy acts “shy”, in many cases he may just not be interested. I learned that in my early 20s while asking out guys who acted “shy” and aloof around me, and getting rejected cuz they could probably tell I liked them, which resulted in them acting like that around me.

Even then, I tried not to let that discourage me, and I kept trying to approach guys that I thought were cute and were around my age. Please note that by approach, I mean making light convos in line or asking if I could sit with them if they were sitting alone in places where people tend to socialize, like cafes and stuff. I find that even then guys continue to act aloof and cold, and completely disinterested in any type of interaction with me. And if I ever run into them in the future, they just walk past while pretending they didn’t see me.

There have also been times when I began to like guys who were acquaintances/peripheral to my core friend group, but I feel like maybe I was too obvious with how I was interested in them? Cuz they’d always end up acting cold and aloof around me, only to warm up and act normal towards me once they got girlfriends.

I’ve tried online dating as well, and while I get a lot of matches, very few message me, and even fewer turn into dates.

It’s really been getting me down a lot lately, and I find myself breaking down crying at work at random times cuz of it. I have a lot of friends otherwise (even guy friends!), so I don’t think it’s my personality?

All this has made me very insecure about my looks too ofc, which I was lamenting to my bff and her boyfriend one day, who them apparently later told my bff that he was shocked that I’m insecure about my looks. Apparently all of his friends say I’m “hot” (added this part because ofc I know appearance plays into attraction). I also noticed that I never get approached in bars and clubs unless it’s near closing time and dudes are drunk out of their minds.

As for my physical appearance, I am 5’7.5 and 140 lbs, so my BMI is firmly in the healthy range, and I don’t look overweight at all (cuz I’m not). I also dress very feminine (makeup, hair done everyday, skirts and dresses, etc.). And I’m not necessarily going for supermodel guys who make five million a year either. And even then, people of all attractiveness levels find someone all the time.

What could be wrong with me?

TLDR: Guys don’t like me at all...I’ve tried everything from making the first move to making myself as physically appealing as possible. Now what?

Submitted February 18, 2020 at 12:07AM

I am a 24 year old female (as seen from my title haha). I have never been asked out and as a result, I’m a kissless virgin in my mid-20s, which is something that I have grown to be very embarrassed about (even my conservative family members make fun of me for it).I have read a lot of other threads on Reddit where the OP is in a similar position as me, and top answers are always something along the lines of, “Guys are shy, especially around attractive women, just go make the first move!!”I really hoped that would be the case for me, but I am quickly learning that if a guy acts “shy”, in many cases he may just not be interested. I learned that in my early 20s while asking out guys who acted “shy” and aloof around me, and getting rejected cuz they could probably tell I liked them, which resulted in them acting like that around me.Even then, I tried not to let that discourage me, and I kept trying to approach guys that I thought were cute and were around my age. Please note that by approach, I mean making light convos in line or asking if I could sit with them if they were sitting alone in places where people tend to socialize, like cafes and stuff. I find that even then guys continue to act aloof and cold, and completely disinterested in any type of interaction with me. And if I ever run into them in the future, they just walk past while pretending they didn’t see me.There have also been times when I began to like guys who were acquaintances/peripheral to my core friend group, but I feel like maybe I was too obvious with how I was interested in them? Cuz they’d always end up acting cold and aloof around me, only to warm up and act normal towards me once they got girlfriends.I’ve tried online dating as well, and while I get a lot of matches, very few message me, and even fewer turn into dates.It’s really been getting me down a lot lately, and I find myself breaking down crying at work at random times cuz of it. I have a lot of friends otherwise (even guy friends!), so I don’t think it’s my personality?All this has made me very insecure about my looks too ofc, which I was lamenting to my bff and her boyfriend one day, who them apparently later told my bff that he was shocked that I’m insecure about my looks. Apparently all of his friends say I’m “hot” (added this part because ofc I know appearance plays into attraction). I also noticed that I never get approached in bars and clubs unless it’s near closing time and dudes are drunk out of their minds.As for my physical appearance, I am 5’7.5 and 140 lbs, so my BMI is firmly in the healthy range, and I don’t look overweight at all (cuz I’m not). I also dress very feminine (makeup, hair done everyday, skirts and dresses, etc.). And I’m not necessarily going for supermodel guys who make five million a year either. And even then, people of all attractiveness levels find someone all the time.What could be wrong with me?TLDR: Guys don’t like me at all...I’ve tried everything from making the first move to making myself as physically appealing as possible. Now what?