My [22M] ex gf [21F] texted me. Not sure what to make of it.

TL;DR at the bottom of post

My ex gf and I dated for 5 years. The relationship was very good and happy, we cared deeply for one another and had made many future plans together that we agreed on such as where to live, pets, children, house decor, whatever. However she broke up with me 5 months ago.

Since then a lot has gone down between us. At first I begged and pleaded and did all the bad stuff and I did it for a long time. She would always ask me for space and I would fail to give it.

At the most I gave her 3 weeks of no contact, prior to that it was always me texting her and it was not good contact. When I gave her 3 weeks of space we actually had a good conversation, I was asking her for advice on something, she admitted she felt sad and fragile lately and no longer knew if she wanted the breakup. However the next day she got mad and blocked me so idk what to make of that.

About three weeks later was Thanksgiving. She had some things to return to me and actually said she wanted to see me in person so she could decide if she wanted to get back together. I agreed we met, hung out about 3 times over the break but she of course did not want to get back together. She again blocked my number.

Two weeks before Christmas I almost got in to a car accident and I freaked out. I ended up calling her. She seemed upset at first and said that me almost wrecking my car was no reason to call her, she is probbaly right about that. But anyway we talked for a while and we had a good conversation and laughed a lot then at the end I promised I wouldnt reach out again.

When Christmas time rolled around she reached out to me to wish me a merry Christmas, I was surprised by this. But I wished her one back and that conversation sort of continued for the next 3 days. During this conversation she made it clear she didnt want to get back together but said she wasnt sure how she would feel in the future and that if we are meant to be we will be. I ended the conversation by not replying to her text.

Two days later she texted me again saying she saw something I would like and sent me a picture of it. We talked for a little and it was fine but it all felt confusing for me and I ended up telling her that I needed space. She said "ok bye!" and ignored the next two messages I sent. I feel confident that me doing this made her mad, but I'm not really sure why.

Anyway, we haven't really talked since then. I'm wondering what to make of all of it, especially the way she has gone back and forth on wanting to get back together or not knowing what she wants. I'm also wondering why she would reach out to me. I do want her back very badly but I know I can't hold on. I worried that her reaching out to me was my chance to start normal texting and reattract her but I also felt like it might change nothing and stop me from moving on.

I wonder if her going back and forth was a way to keep me holding on or if she truely felt that way. I also wonder if her reaching out was the same thing or if she just wanted to talk to me.

Does anyone have any insight on this, maybe have experienced something similar from an ex? Im trying to make sense of it all and decide what I should do moving forward.

TL;DR: ex gf has been wishy washy with me a couple times and reached out to me talking about some random things like we did while together. Not sure what to think of it all.

Submitted January 10, 2020 at 12:02AM

TL;DR at the bottom of postMy ex gf and I dated for 5 years. The relationship was very good and happy, we cared deeply for one another and had made many future plans together that we agreed on such as where to live, pets, children, house decor, whatever. However she broke up with me 5 months ago.Since then a lot has gone down between us. At first I begged and pleaded and did all the bad stuff and I did it for a long time. She would always ask me for space and I would fail to give it.At the most I gave her 3 weeks of no contact, prior to that it was always me texting her and it was not good contact. When I gave her 3 weeks of space we actually had a good conversation, I was asking her for advice on something, she admitted she felt sad and fragile lately and no longer knew if she wanted the breakup. However the next day she got mad and blocked me so idk what to make of that.About three weeks later was Thanksgiving. She had some things to return to me and actually said she wanted to see me in person so she could decide if she wanted to get back together. I agreed we met, hung out about 3 times over the break but she of course did not want to get back together. She again blocked my number.Two weeks before Christmas I almost got in to a car accident and I freaked out. I ended up calling her. She seemed upset at first and said that me almost wrecking my car was no reason to call her, she is probbaly right about that. But anyway we talked for a while and we had a good conversation and laughed a lot then at the end I promised I wouldnt reach out again.When Christmas time rolled around she reached out to me to wish me a merry Christmas, I was surprised by this. But I wished her one back and that conversation sort of continued for the next 3 days. During this conversation she made it clear she didnt want to get back together but said she wasnt sure how she would feel in the future and that if we are meant to be we will be. I ended the conversation by not replying to her text.Two days later she texted me again saying she saw something I would like and sent me a picture of it. We talked for a little and it was fine but it all felt confusing for me and I ended up telling her that I needed space. She said "ok bye!" and ignored the next two messages I sent. I feel confident that me doing this made her mad, but I'm not really sure why.Anyway, we haven't really talked since then. I'm wondering what to make of all of it, especially the way she has gone back and forth on wanting to get back together or not knowing what she wants. I'm also wondering why she would reach out to me. I do want her back very badly but I know I can't hold on. I worried that her reaching out to me was my chance to start normal texting and reattract her but I also felt like it might change nothing and stop me from moving on.I wonder if her going back and forth was a way to keep me holding on or if she truely felt that way. I also wonder if her reaching out was the same thing or if she just wanted to talk to me.Does anyone have any insight on this, maybe have experienced something similar from an ex? Im trying to make sense of it all and decide what I should do moving forward.TL;DR: ex gf has been wishy washy with me a couple times and reached out to me talking about some random things like we did while together. Not sure what to think of it all.