I (21f) want to help a guy in my class (20m) who told me he hasn’t been doing wel lately

So I’m in a class with this dude I like- friend wise, I’m gay and he knows this and I’m pretty sure there’s no interest on either side. But I enjoy talking with him when it happens and if I wasn’t so awkward we probably could’ve been pretty good friends. We where close enough to have friendly banter in class and during school trips (I have friendly banter with most guys in my class so it’s not something special) but not to text or hang out outside of class with just the two of us (it only happened once and that was for something school related).

I speak in past tense because the normal part of our studies is almost over, in a few weeks everyone will go their own way on internships or doing minors on other universities. Him and me will be going to the same new university, but we’ll be following different minors and it’s a big university.

Anyway, we hadn’t really interacted much since before the christmas vacation because we are all busy with a big group project and he’s not in my group. But today we ended up in the same bus to school so we got talking, just generic stuff, until I asked him if he was looking forward to the new university. He told me he wasn’t really, and when I asked why he said he’d lost his motivation for school and he hadn’t been feeling well lately. (He used an expression in our language that’s not really translatable but it specifically means feeling bad in a mental way. Literally it would be feeling uncomfortable in your own skin). The expression itself is not such a heavy one but the fact that he’s not a touchey feeley guy at all and he told me that has got me worried.

So now, how do I help him? Should I? I don’t have many guy friends so I’m not sure how to proceed. I don’t want to make him feel weird or emasculated? But I also want him to know he can reach out to me if he needs it and I want to be there for him. Any advice?

TL;DR a guy in my class who I’m friendly with told me he hasn’t been doing well lately, I want to help him but I’m not sure how to reach out to him



Submitted January 23, 2020 at 10:48PM

So I’m in a class with this dude I like- friend wise, I’m gay and he knows this and I’m pretty sure there’s no interest on either side. But I enjoy talking with him when it happens and if I wasn’t so awkward we probably could’ve been pretty good friends. We where close enough to have friendly banter in class and during school trips (I have friendly banter with most guys in my class so it’s not something special) but not to text or hang out outside of class with just the two of us (it only happened once and that was for something school related).I speak in past tense because the normal part of our studies is almost over, in a few weeks everyone will go their own way on internships or doing minors on other universities. Him and me will be going to the same new university, but we’ll be following different minors and it’s a big university.Anyway, we hadn’t really interacted much since before the christmas vacation because we are all busy with a big group project and he’s not in my group. But today we ended up in the same bus to school so we got talking, just generic stuff, until I asked him if he was looking forward to the new university. He told me he wasn’t really, and when I asked why he said he’d lost his motivation for school and he hadn’t been feeling well lately. (He used an expression in our language that’s not really translatable but it specifically means feeling bad in a mental way. Literally it would be feeling uncomfortable in your own skin). The expression itself is not such a heavy one but the fact that he’s not a touchey feeley guy at all and he told me that has got me worried.So now, how do I help him? Should I? I don’t have many guy friends so I’m not sure how to proceed. I don’t want to make him feel weird or emasculated? But I also want him to know he can reach out to me if he needs it and I want to be there for him. Any advice?TL;DR a guy in my class who I’m friendly with told me he hasn’t been doing well lately, I want to help him but I’m not sure how to reach out to him
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