When is the point to end a LDR even though you still love them? [F20, M21]

So.. I don't intend to end things soon because well I love this guy. He's cute, smart, pretty, funny and all that.

But he does live a 6hour train ride away. Our first chance at moving in together/closer would be when one of us is done with college - in 2,5 years. We see each other about once in a month for a few days because we just don't have the time or the money for more frequent visits. (We've been together for 1,5 years now)

When I'm with him it's all great. I mean yeah we do have some arguments, our sex could sometimes be better but it's basically forgotten when we get to cuddle.

But when I'm not with him.. I don't know some times it's ok and I can deal with it. But now I'm once again in a phase where it's terrible. I'm pretty sure it also has a lot to do with the next semester starting in a month so I'm at home with nothing to do. Anyways. During the day he won't text me much because he either needs to study or he wants a break so he plays video games. I try to keep myself busy but mostly fail and only play mindless games on my phone or scroll through reddit. In the evening we call for a few minutes and while this makes me smile, for the past week I cried every single time during or directly after the call. (he doesn't know)

I don't like throwing around big words, especially without having seen a therapist or anything but it does feel like what I imagine depression to be like. Light mode of course but still.

It's just so confusing because obviously this relationship doesn't make me happy right now but at the same time I don't have a clue if being single/ dating again would make things better or worse. I also feel a bit helpless because I always thought being in a relationship meant I would always have someone to console me when I'm crying but tbh I cry so much these days I don't want to bother him. Especially when I don't even know how he could make things better. (He certainly doesn't know either, he isn't good with that stuff over the phone.)

Ugh. Sorry for the rambling. What do you think, when should you end something like this? When is it too much? Like I know this is a phase and I know it will get better but do I just keep going through that phase every few months for 2,5 years?

TL;DR long distance relationship drains me right now, I don't think of breaking up for real at the time but I'm wondering at what point it would be the smartest option for my mental health. Or I just need a life and that's it but sadly that's easier said than done.

Submitted September 15, 2019 at 11:28PM

So.. I don't intend to end things soon because well I love this guy. He's cute, smart, pretty, funny and all that.But he does live a 6hour train ride away. Our first chance at moving in together/closer would be when one of us is done with college - in 2,5 years. We see each other about once in a month for a few days because we just don't have the time or the money for more frequent visits. (We've been together for 1,5 years now)When I'm with him it's all great. I mean yeah we do have some arguments, our sex could sometimes be better but it's basically forgotten when we get to cuddle.But when I'm not with him.. I don't know some times it's ok and I can deal with it. But now I'm once again in a phase where it's terrible. I'm pretty sure it also has a lot to do with the next semester starting in a month so I'm at home with nothing to do. Anyways. During the day he won't text me much because he either needs to study or he wants a break so he plays video games. I try to keep myself busy but mostly fail and only play mindless games on my phone or scroll through reddit. In the evening we call for a few minutes and while this makes me smile, for the past week I cried every single time during or directly after the call. (he doesn't know)I don't like throwing around big words, especially without having seen a therapist or anything but it does feel like what I imagine depression to be like. Light mode of course but still.It's just so confusing because obviously this relationship doesn't make me happy right now but at the same time I don't have a clue if being single/ dating again would make things better or worse. I also feel a bit helpless because I always thought being in a relationship meant I would always have someone to console me when I'm crying but tbh I cry so much these days I don't want to bother him. Especially when I don't even know how he could make things better. (He certainly doesn't know either, he isn't good with that stuff over the phone.)Ugh. Sorry for the rambling. What do you think, when should you end something like this? When is it too much? Like I know this is a phase and I know it will get better but do I just keep going through that phase every few months for 2,5 years?TL;DR long distance relationship drains me right now, I don't think of breaking up for real at the time but I'm wondering at what point it would be the smartest option for my mental health. Or I just need a life and that's it but sadly that's easier said than done.