How do I know when a hookup is more than a hookup?

I'm (24F) and I met this girl at work (21F) a few weeks ago. We hit it off based on the fact we realized both of us were gay, and we had drinks one night to get to know each other further (at this point, we were good friends/work buddies despite not knowing each other long at all). The next week she invited me to her apartment as a 'Netflix Night' and ended up sleeping together. We talked a lot before the hook up happened though, and had a pretty 'intense' pillow talk afterwards. A couple days later I came over again while her roommate was still on vacation and we slept with each other again, same intense feelings and overall a feeling of "this feels more than just sex". Def not a "hit it and quit it situation". We cuddled and talked a lot about our backgrounds, past relationships, and insecurities as well as hobbies and stuff like that. We do actually have a lot in common.

We don't text everyday because both of us still work at the same company, but I got switched to a different department, so we're both busy, but when we do talk we talk for hours for sure. I just feel clingy texting her everyday so I don't, although sometimes we send snapchats to each other. When we do talks, it's not just about hooking up either. Although the third time we hooked up I basically admitted that I liked her and I didn't want to sleep with anyone else (I'm realizing now how clingy that sounds, but I meant in a sense that she wouldn't worry she was gonna catch an STD off of me cause I only like her). And she was cool with it, but pretty much expressed she'd want to know me more before committing to something, but still wanting to figure out what she wants and all (to be fair, I've always had pretty unhealthy relationships, so this is new for me to force myself to slow down, but totally fine. Also this conversation happened a few weeks ago so I can't remember the exact words that she said).

I guess some part of my mind is thinking that if she didn't want something with feelings, she would have distanced herself or broke it off with me once I admitted that I liked her.

We flirt differently with each other. She's more subtle and is more of a 'roaster' and a tease. I flirt pretty directly and I'm super forward. I guess sometimes when she's not as forward as me that's what makes me wonder if I'm looking too into this. So far we've gone grocery shopping together, I bought her breakfast at work once, and we went out to lunch together (which I paid for and expressed was a date). We also had a few study dates at the library together.

I'm just not sure if I should let this progress further, or if I should talk about it more with her? I'm honestly scared of looking crazy cause all my past relationships have been toxic and horrible. I feel like I'm learning how to do something healthy for once. I really like this girl, and I'm terrified I'm gonna scare her off by wanting more (especially because of her being younger and her never having a serious relationship with a woman before, so I know I'm going to have to be the one that initiates the possible girlfriend conversation....which she lowkey established haha). Does this sound like it could go past a hook up?

TLDR: Could a hookup I have/had with my work friend possibly progress into a relationship? Should I just slow down and see how it goes so I don't look crazy? Or is this just a hookup?

Submitted September 15, 2019 at 11:10PM

I'm (24F) and I met this girl at work (21F) a few weeks ago. We hit it off based on the fact we realized both of us were gay, and we had drinks one night to get to know each other further (at this point, we were good friends/work buddies despite not knowing each other long at all). The next week she invited me to her apartment as a 'Netflix Night' and ended up sleeping together. We talked a lot before the hook up happened though, and had a pretty 'intense' pillow talk afterwards. A couple days later I came over again while her roommate was still on vacation and we slept with each other again, same intense feelings and overall a feeling of "this feels more than just sex". Def not a "hit it and quit it situation". We cuddled and talked a lot about our backgrounds, past relationships, and insecurities as well as hobbies and stuff like that. We do actually have a lot in common.We don't text everyday because both of us still work at the same company, but I got switched to a different department, so we're both busy, but when we do talk we talk for hours for sure. I just feel clingy texting her everyday so I don't, although sometimes we send snapchats to each other. When we do talks, it's not just about hooking up either. Although the third time we hooked up I basically admitted that I liked her and I didn't want to sleep with anyone else (I'm realizing now how clingy that sounds, but I meant in a sense that she wouldn't worry she was gonna catch an STD off of me cause I only like her). And she was cool with it, but pretty much expressed she'd want to know me more before committing to something, but still wanting to figure out what she wants and all (to be fair, I've always had pretty unhealthy relationships, so this is new for me to force myself to slow down, but totally fine. Also this conversation happened a few weeks ago so I can't remember the exact words that she said).I guess some part of my mind is thinking that if she didn't want something with feelings, she would have distanced herself or broke it off with me once I admitted that I liked her.We flirt differently with each other. She's more subtle and is more of a 'roaster' and a tease. I flirt pretty directly and I'm super forward. I guess sometimes when she's not as forward as me that's what makes me wonder if I'm looking too into this. So far we've gone grocery shopping together, I bought her breakfast at work once, and we went out to lunch together (which I paid for and expressed was a date). We also had a few study dates at the library together.I'm just not sure if I should let this progress further, or if I should talk about it more with her? I'm honestly scared of looking crazy cause all my past relationships have been toxic and horrible. I feel like I'm learning how to do something healthy for once. I really like this girl, and I'm terrified I'm gonna scare her off by wanting more (especially because of her being younger and her never having a serious relationship with a woman before, so I know I'm going to have to be the one that initiates the possible girlfriend conversation....which she lowkey established haha). Does this sound like it could go past a hook up?TLDR: Could a hookup I have/had with my work friend possibly progress into a relationship? Should I just slow down and see how it goes so I don't look crazy? Or is this just a hookup?