I'm really hurting and just don't know anymore

Ok so I'm writing this through the tears, they have been falling for the last 3 days and I just need to get it off my chest. 2 and a half years ago I met this amazing man. And I know everyone says that but after everything I had been through I finally felt this was the reason why I went through it all. We have been through so much including long distance with no contact, financial struggles that I helped him through no questions asked. He has even told me a number of times that I am the only one who has ever been there for him when no one else has. Now I know he suffers with depression and it is an ugly monster and he knows I'm always going to be there to support him. But he has started pushing me away. Talking about taking time no contact with anyone. I personally see this as self destruction and could do more harm then good but it's then turned back on me about the pressure it puts in him. If he ment everything he said all the plans he made not me, everything he spoke about the future am I wrong by wanting him to fight? Not fight for me because he says he loves me and doesn't want or see himself with anyone else so shouldn't he want to fight for us for the future. I have suffered with depression and other mental health issues and I am medicated and go to therapy so I know the feelings that comes with depression. I still have had days but I always try and look for the good. He doesn't he just sees dark. I'm ready for the hate if readers think I'm being insensitive but I just feel like I'm being punished for being me, to understanding to supportive to loving. Maybe im a fool for giving him my all without expecting anything in return. Am i being tested to see how much i can take?

TD;LR SO of 2 and a half years is up and down like a rollercoaster and it's really begging to hurt



Submitted September 15, 2019 at 11:22PM

Ok so I'm writing this through the tears, they have been falling for the last 3 days and I just need to get it off my chest. 2 and a half years ago I met this amazing man. And I know everyone says that but after everything I had been through I finally felt this was the reason why I went through it all. We have been through so much including long distance with no contact, financial struggles that I helped him through no questions asked. He has even told me a number of times that I am the only one who has ever been there for him when no one else has. Now I know he suffers with depression and it is an ugly monster and he knows I'm always going to be there to support him. But he has started pushing me away. Talking about taking time no contact with anyone. I personally see this as self destruction and could do more harm then good but it's then turned back on me about the pressure it puts in him. If he ment everything he said all the plans he made not me, everything he spoke about the future am I wrong by wanting him to fight? Not fight for me because he says he loves me and doesn't want or see himself with anyone else so shouldn't he want to fight for us for the future. I have suffered with depression and other mental health issues and I am medicated and go to therapy so I know the feelings that comes with depression. I still have had days but I always try and look for the good. He doesn't he just sees dark. I'm ready for the hate if readers think I'm being insensitive but I just feel like I'm being punished for being me, to understanding to supportive to loving. Maybe im a fool for giving him my all without expecting anything in return. Am i being tested to see how much i can take?TD;LR SO of 2 and a half years is up and down like a rollercoaster and it's really begging to hurt
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