I (38M) have been thinking of ending things with the person (34F) I have been seeing, but the passing of her grandmother has complicating the situation.

I have been seeing K for about 2 months. We have been spending a lot of time together and have gotten pretty affectionate, but we have not had a talk about exclusivity or putting a label on things.

I have been having my doubts about our relationship. I am starting to feel like our personalities and communication styles don’t really mesh. Also, she wants to have a kid within 2 years due to a reproductive issue that is limiting her child bearing years and plans to have one on her own (through a sperm donor) if she doesn’t find herself with a suitable mate by then. For me to be okay with this timeline, my feelings for her would have to develop quickly, but I am not seeing that happen. I really do like spending time with her but I don’t feel like love is developing.

In addition, I was not actively looking on dating apps, but had also not yet deactivated my accounts. Recently someone messaged me that seems to check almost every box (More so than K, if I had to quantify). We talked for a bit and she seems really great. I have no idea if it will go anywhere, but the conversation made me realize that K wasn’t “the one” and I want to keep looking.

In the same morning that I am coming to these conclusions, I get a text from K; her grandmother just passed away. She had been battling cancer for a while and it finally took her.

Now I am conflicted. I know I need to have this tough conversation with K, and I don’t want to waste any more of her time. But, I don’t want to spring this on her when she is dealing other emotional trauma.

Any recommendations for how I navigate this? How long should I wait to have “the talk” with K? Should I at least wait until things settle after the funeral?

EDIT: I should probably not attend the funeral, right? I don't think it would be good to meet family for the first time under these circumstances.

TLDR: I have been seeing a woman for about 2 months and feel I want to end it. But her grandmother just died and I am looking for advice on how I should navigate and time the talk.



Submitted September 15, 2019 at 11:20PM

I have been seeing K for about 2 months. We have been spending a lot of time together and have gotten pretty affectionate, but we have not had a talk about exclusivity or putting a label on things.I have been having my doubts about our relationship. I am starting to feel like our personalities and communication styles don’t really mesh. Also, she wants to have a kid within 2 years due to a reproductive issue that is limiting her child bearing years and plans to have one on her own (through a sperm donor) if she doesn’t find herself with a suitable mate by then. For me to be okay with this timeline, my feelings for her would have to develop quickly, but I am not seeing that happen. I really do like spending time with her but I don’t feel like love is developing.In addition, I was not actively looking on dating apps, but had also not yet deactivated my accounts. Recently someone messaged me that seems to check almost every box (More so than K, if I had to quantify). We talked for a bit and she seems really great. I have no idea if it will go anywhere, but the conversation made me realize that K wasn’t “the one” and I want to keep looking.In the same morning that I am coming to these conclusions, I get a text from K; her grandmother just passed away. She had been battling cancer for a while and it finally took her.Now I am conflicted. I know I need to have this tough conversation with K, and I don’t want to waste any more of her time. But, I don’t want to spring this on her when she is dealing other emotional trauma.Any recommendations for how I navigate this? How long should I wait to have “the talk” with K? Should I at least wait until things settle after the funeral?EDIT: I should probably not attend the funeral, right? I don't think it would be good to meet family for the first time under these circumstances.TLDR: I have been seeing a woman for about 2 months and feel I want to end it. But her grandmother just died and I am looking for advice on how I should navigate and time the talk.
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