Gf(27f) leaving me(28m) after 5 years and I need some help

I'm about to turn 29, me and my girlfriend had been together for 5 1/2 years, the last year and a half, we have lived together for 3 and 1/2 of those years. I had been struggling more with my issues with travel anxiety, and depression, I had also started drinking more.

We had been getting distant but I thought things would work out in time. She had been telling me she wanted more consistentncy and me to make more of an effort and I thought I had been but I know I could have done much more. Last Tuesday morning she told me she was going to be moving out and couldn't be with me anymore, I immediately panic and try and talk with her but there's no changing her mind.

She is being gentle about everything and says she wants me to work on myself and be better to myself so I can be a better partner and there may be a chance we can reconcile. These past few days have been almost endless pain and feeling surreal and sick. I've barely eaten and already lost 10 pounds, sleep is impossible without Xanax. I she says she still loves me and is affectionate but she will not change her mind, she says she is doing this because she loves me. I'm an absolute mess and honestly, I'm so scared of being alone, so scared of living without her love.

She is still around the house packing up her stuff and sometimes we are able to laugh together and have nice moments, we had sex last night and I was so happy to feel like things were back to normal.. but they weren't, her mind was still made up and she was still moving out. In a couple days she'll be gone and I can't stand being there without her, everything I look at reminds me of her and I can't stop crying all the time...I feel like I just can't function without, I know I'm co-dependent on her.

It drives me crazy that there's nothing I can say or do to change her mind right now and I feel so lost. I guess I just need some advice on what to do, I've never hurt this bad before and I'm afraid. TL;DR gf of over 5 years left me and I'm a complete emotional wreck and I need help



Submitted September 15, 2019 at 11:23PM

I'm about to turn 29, me and my girlfriend had been together for 5 1/2 years, the last year and a half, we have lived together for 3 and 1/2 of those years. I had been struggling more with my issues with travel anxiety, and depression, I had also started drinking more.We had been getting distant but I thought things would work out in time. She had been telling me she wanted more consistentncy and me to make more of an effort and I thought I had been but I know I could have done much more. Last Tuesday morning she told me she was going to be moving out and couldn't be with me anymore, I immediately panic and try and talk with her but there's no changing her mind.She is being gentle about everything and says she wants me to work on myself and be better to myself so I can be a better partner and there may be a chance we can reconcile. These past few days have been almost endless pain and feeling surreal and sick. I've barely eaten and already lost 10 pounds, sleep is impossible without Xanax. I she says she still loves me and is affectionate but she will not change her mind, she says she is doing this because she loves me. I'm an absolute mess and honestly, I'm so scared of being alone, so scared of living without her love.She is still around the house packing up her stuff and sometimes we are able to laugh together and have nice moments, we had sex last night and I was so happy to feel like things were back to normal.. but they weren't, her mind was still made up and she was still moving out. In a couple days she'll be gone and I can't stand being there without her, everything I look at reminds me of her and I can't stop crying all the time...I feel like I just can't function without, I know I'm co-dependent on her.It drives me crazy that there's nothing I can say or do to change her mind right now and I feel so lost. I guess I just need some advice on what to do, I've never hurt this bad before and I'm afraid. TL;DR gf of over 5 years left me and I'm a complete emotional wreck and I need help
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