What to do about complicated "not ready for relationship"

Reddit, I need your help.

A little background about myself. I'm a 20 year old guy, in college, with no desire to "stay single and have fun." I'm ready for commitment....again. I was in about a 2 year long relationship, that ended almost exactly 2 years ago. I have since gone on a few dates here an there, but have not been interested in anyone at all, until about a month and a half ago.

I was doing an internship at a hospital when I met a girl that worked there. I started talking to her more, and we just kinda clicked. Then my internship was ending, and I decided to ask her out, which she said yes to. A few days later we had breakfast and we clicked even more. It was scary at how easy it was connecting with her. I thanked her for coming to breakfast with me and told we had to do it again when I got back in a few weeks, she agreed. (I had to go back home to finish up a few things before school starts back up.) So we continued to talk those next few weeks, and let me tell you, we are identical. We have everything in common. Every. Single. Thing. From what we want out of life, to how we like our bacon cooked (extra crispy btw) i'm telling you. Everything. Things were going good. She kept telling me how excited she was for date #2. A few days prior to me coming back, I noticed a shift in communication. I should also add at this time she was moving from her parents house about 40 minutes away to an apartment with friends closer to school and work. But who I am to say anything? I've gone on one date with this girl, and have known her for 4 weeks. After I got back, and 1 or 2 failed potential meet ups, I finally asked her where she saw things going/ what she wanted.

Towards the beginning, when we were talking about everything we had in common, our past relationships were brought up. (I know, golden rule is you're not suppose to talk about it in a new relationship.) And I found out that about 9 months ago, she got out of a year long relationship, with the guy cheating on her, and it messed her up pretty bad. (as it would with most of us)

She ended up telling me that she's still struggling with the breakup and trying to work on bettering her self and making herself happy. Which I totally respect, and get. I was there too. She also told me "you're REALLY sweet, you really are, and I mean it" and "we have so much in common, it was almost too good to be true." We also both agreed that we jumped in way too fast. We were both super eager. I'm not trying to sound like a douche, but my ex told me the same exact thing at the beginning of that relationship, and she was struggling with a previous break up too. Almost like deja vu. Thats why I have hope.

In conclusion, it ended with her telling me that if I ever need anything, to call her. And with me telling her if she ever wanted to try things again, she knew how to reach me. My question is how do I go about this?? It doesn't feel like the end. I want to try and stay in contact, but not in the weird/desperate/needy way. Maybe in a few weeks message her or something. But what would I say? It wouldn't be a big deal if it was "just another date", but i'm telling you, it was scary at how much we clicked. The ideal situation would be a week from now, she changes her mind, and happily ever after. I just don't know what to do. And i'm definitely not head strong enough to "just get over it." I don’t know if this is something to chase after, or what. Somebody tell me what to do 😂

Submitted August 08, 2019 at 12:24AM

Reddit, I need your help.A little background about myself. I'm a 20 year old guy, in college, with no desire to "stay single and have fun." I'm ready for commitment....again. I was in about a 2 year long relationship, that ended almost exactly 2 years ago. I have since gone on a few dates here an there, but have not been interested in anyone at all, until about a month and a half ago.I was doing an internship at a hospital when I met a girl that worked there. I started talking to her more, and we just kinda clicked. Then my internship was ending, and I decided to ask her out, which she said yes to. A few days later we had breakfast and we clicked even more. It was scary at how easy it was connecting with her. I thanked her for coming to breakfast with me and told we had to do it again when I got back in a few weeks, she agreed. (I had to go back home to finish up a few things before school starts back up.) So we continued to talk those next few weeks, and let me tell you, we are identical. We have everything in common. Every. Single. Thing. From what we want out of life, to how we like our bacon cooked (extra crispy btw) i'm telling you. Everything. Things were going good. She kept telling me how excited she was for date #2. A few days prior to me coming back, I noticed a shift in communication. I should also add at this time she was moving from her parents house about 40 minutes away to an apartment with friends closer to school and work. But who I am to say anything? I've gone on one date with this girl, and have known her for 4 weeks. After I got back, and 1 or 2 failed potential meet ups, I finally asked her where she saw things going/ what she wanted.Towards the beginning, when we were talking about everything we had in common, our past relationships were brought up. (I know, golden rule is you're not suppose to talk about it in a new relationship.) And I found out that about 9 months ago, she got out of a year long relationship, with the guy cheating on her, and it messed her up pretty bad. (as it would with most of us)She ended up telling me that she's still struggling with the breakup and trying to work on bettering her self and making herself happy. Which I totally respect, and get. I was there too. She also told me "you're REALLY sweet, you really are, and I mean it" and "we have so much in common, it was almost too good to be true." We also both agreed that we jumped in way too fast. We were both super eager. I'm not trying to sound like a douche, but my ex told me the same exact thing at the beginning of that relationship, and she was struggling with a previous break up too. Almost like deja vu. Thats why I have hope.In conclusion, it ended with her telling me that if I ever need anything, to call her. And with me telling her if she ever wanted to try things again, she knew how to reach me. My question is how do I go about this?? It doesn't feel like the end. I want to try and stay in contact, but not in the weird/desperate/needy way. Maybe in a few weeks message her or something. But what would I say? It wouldn't be a big deal if it was "just another date", but i'm telling you, it was scary at how much we clicked. The ideal situation would be a week from now, she changes her mind, and happily ever after. I just don't know what to do. And i'm definitely not head strong enough to "just get over it." I don’t know if this is something to chase after, or what. Somebody tell me what to do 😂