This Always Makes Me Feel Corny (and kind of creepy)

I am always searching for forums, apps, or any kind of post that might pertain to me — of course hoping it would be from you. But I haven’t found anything, so that should give me a sign, right? I’m starting to feel like a hopeless romantic who over-analyzed things. I wonder if you think about me, like I think about you.

Is it just a girl thing or do boys get caught up in a connection too? Do you get excited? Do you get carried away?

You swept me off my feet so much that I pretty much used any excuse to go the local hang-out, and just see you. I would get so dolled up, and you’d compliment me — but I still never felt cute enough. Not that you made me feel that way, just my own insecurities. I was afraid that maybe I was reading the situation wrong, and you were just trying to be nice. And honestly, once I found out about your allergy I was worried that it wouldn’t work because I fucking love peanut butter. However, it still hasn’t stopped the constant thoughts about you.

Over all, though, I was afraid to talk to you more because I don’t feel good enough for you. I was afraid that maybe I wasn’t what you had pictured in mind, or maybe that I was too weird. I was afraid that if I got too close and let you look too long, you’d notice my spots, my scars, my crooked jaw, the razor burn along my legs, the bruises — maybe I’m too skinny and when, and if, I ever let you touch me, I was afraid that my lack of curves would turn you off.

All of this, and it still won’t stop the thought of “maybe I have a chance”.

I even moved away — only for a little bit — but you still stayed in my thoughts.

Submitted August 08, 2019 at 12:07AM

I am always searching for forums, apps, or any kind of post that might pertain to me — of course hoping it would be from you. But I haven’t found anything, so that should give me a sign, right? I’m starting to feel like a hopeless romantic who over-analyzed things. I wonder if you think about me, like I think about you.Is it just a girl thing or do boys get caught up in a connection too? Do you get excited? Do you get carried away?You swept me off my feet so much that I pretty much used any excuse to go the local hang-out, and just see you. I would get so dolled up, and you’d compliment me — but I still never felt cute enough. Not that you made me feel that way, just my own insecurities. I was afraid that maybe I was reading the situation wrong, and you were just trying to be nice. And honestly, once I found out about your allergy I was worried that it wouldn’t work because I fucking love peanut butter. However, it still hasn’t stopped the constant thoughts about you.Over all, though, I was afraid to talk to you more because I don’t feel good enough for you. I was afraid that maybe I wasn’t what you had pictured in mind, or maybe that I was too weird. I was afraid that if I got too close and let you look too long, you’d notice my spots, my scars, my crooked jaw, the razor burn along my legs, the bruises — maybe I’m too skinny and when, and if, I ever let you touch me, I was afraid that my lack of curves would turn you off.All of this, and it still won’t stop the thought of “maybe I have a chance”.I even moved away — only for a little bit — but you still stayed in my thoughts.