Is my bf (late20s M) just saying he wants to get married because he thinks that’s what I (late20s F) want to hear, or has he really changed his mind?

My bf and I met about a year ago and immediately had amazing compatibility, and started dating exclusively shortly after. At this point, I continue to keep up and pay for my own apt, but I stay with him whenever it’s feasible. We moved quickly, and it’s been wonderful.

When we were new (first 4/5 months), he always said he never wanted to get married. That the process (the actual wedding itself and the planning and costs) were stressful and unnecessary, and so he was simply not interested in going through it at all. At the time, I expressed concerns about this, because I do want to get married one day, and I can’t use years of my late 20s dating someone with such different goals.

But lately he has been bringing it up on his own, asking questions about wedding preferences (food, number of people, altars, locations, etc). He’s also referenced the idea of having kids one day (I’ve been very straight forward that I would not have a child out of wedlock).

Has he legitimately changed his tune, or is he just saying what I want him to say? We’re happy and really in love, but I question if he’s compromising his values to keep me around.

TLDR; my bf used to say he never wanted to get married but now talks about getting married. Is he just saying that to keep me around, or has he really changed his mind?



Submitted August 06, 2019 at 11:59PM

My bf and I met about a year ago and immediately had amazing compatibility, and started dating exclusively shortly after. At this point, I continue to keep up and pay for my own apt, but I stay with him whenever it’s feasible. We moved quickly, and it’s been wonderful.When we were new (first 4/5 months), he always said he never wanted to get married. That the process (the actual wedding itself and the planning and costs) were stressful and unnecessary, and so he was simply not interested in going through it at all. At the time, I expressed concerns about this, because I do want to get married one day, and I can’t use years of my late 20s dating someone with such different goals.But lately he has been bringing it up on his own, asking questions about wedding preferences (food, number of people, altars, locations, etc). He’s also referenced the idea of having kids one day (I’ve been very straight forward that I would not have a child out of wedlock).Has he legitimately changed his tune, or is he just saying what I want him to say? We’re happy and really in love, but I question if he’s compromising his values to keep me around.TLDR; my bf used to say he never wanted to get married but now talks about getting married. Is he just saying that to keep me around, or has he really changed his mind?
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