I [20s M] was just disowned by my dad [50s M]

My dad never liked me. He always spent more time with my siblings, two who are older and one who is younger, so it was never because I was his last kid or anything. He was in the military when I was a kid so I didn't see him often. When he was home he didn't talk to me frequently. I came out as transgender as a young teen, he was always uncomfortable. And then, he didn't speak to my siblings or me for two years. His discomfort with our mother after they divorced made him try to move on from his old family entirely. He decided afterward to try again, we didn't talk much but our conversations were friendly and made me happy.

A year ago I changed my last name because both of my parents were neglectful when I was a child and I felt a much closer bond to my grandparents since they practically raised me. My dad was convinced it was because I wanted to be closer to my mother, despite her name being different. I did it.

He just used the correct last name for the first time in a text in which he told me to have a nice life. He wants nothing to do with me. I am not surprised but I feel like a horrible son nonetheless. What should I do? Should I try to fix things or move on? Is there any way to make this better?

TL;DR My dad was never the best, but after changing my last name he decided I am no longer important to him. Is there anything to do to try to make him care for me? How should I move forward?

Submitted August 06, 2019 at 11:55PM

My dad never liked me. He always spent more time with my siblings, two who are older and one who is younger, so it was never because I was his last kid or anything. He was in the military when I was a kid so I didn't see him often. When he was home he didn't talk to me frequently. I came out as transgender as a young teen, he was always uncomfortable. And then, he didn't speak to my siblings or me for two years. His discomfort with our mother after they divorced made him try to move on from his old family entirely. He decided afterward to try again, we didn't talk much but our conversations were friendly and made me happy.A year ago I changed my last name because both of my parents were neglectful when I was a child and I felt a much closer bond to my grandparents since they practically raised me. My dad was convinced it was because I wanted to be closer to my mother, despite her name being different. I did it.He just used the correct last name for the first time in a text in which he told me to have a nice life. He wants nothing to do with me. I am not surprised but I feel like a horrible son nonetheless. What should I do? Should I try to fix things or move on? Is there any way to make this better?TL;DR My dad was never the best, but after changing my last name he decided I am no longer important to him. Is there anything to do to try to make him care for me? How should I move forward?