I (26f) told my boyfriend (27m) about my sexual history and he's been dejected and distant ever since.

So here's the back story. In college and in my early 20s, I was very open with my sexuality. I did threesomes, BDSM, and experimented with other women. During college, I would sometimes hook up with 3-4 guys on weekends. 

Fast forward to today, I turned 26 a couple months ago and I've been dating my wonderful boyfriend for about 6 months now. He's very different from the men I hooked up with in college, he's more quiet and sensitive instead of loud and aggressive. I think it's a testament to how much I've matured that I'm willing to settle down with a guy like him. 

We were having a conversation about our past a few days ago. He told me he had only had 2 sexual partners before me. This was very distressing to me and honestly a huge turn off. I told him a little bit about my past, and I saw something change in him. Ever since he's been very quiet and distant. 

He also found out that I had drinks with a guy I used to hook up with in college. We didn't do anything, but he's insecure about it, which is another huge turn off. I've never been as attracted to him from a sexual standpoint than the taller, louder and more muscular guys I hooked up with in college, but he's one of the kindest, most considerate people I know. Did I do anything wrong? We haven't had sex since. I have tried talking to him about it but he always brushes it off. How do I fix this?

TL;DR: My boyfriend became very upset after hearing about my rather promiscuous sexual past. He doesn't want to talk about it, and I fear for our relationship.



Submitted July 05, 2019 at 12:09AM

So here's the back story. In college and in my early 20s, I was very open with my sexuality. I did threesomes, BDSM, and experimented with other women. During college, I would sometimes hook up with 3-4 guys on weekends. Fast forward to today, I turned 26 a couple months ago and I've been dating my wonderful boyfriend for about 6 months now. He's very different from the men I hooked up with in college, he's more quiet and sensitive instead of loud and aggressive. I think it's a testament to how much I've matured that I'm willing to settle down with a guy like him. We were having a conversation about our past a few days ago. He told me he had only had 2 sexual partners before me. This was very distressing to me and honestly a huge turn off. I told him a little bit about my past, and I saw something change in him. Ever since he's been very quiet and distant. He also found out that I had drinks with a guy I used to hook up with in college. We didn't do anything, but he's insecure about it, which is another huge turn off. I've never been as attracted to him from a sexual standpoint than the taller, louder and more muscular guys I hooked up with in college, but he's one of the kindest, most considerate people I know. Did I do anything wrong? We haven't had sex since. I have tried talking to him about it but he always brushes it off. How do I fix this?TL;DR: My boyfriend became very upset after hearing about my rather promiscuous sexual past. He doesn't want to talk about it, and I fear for our relationship.
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