How do I (26F) handle lies that an ex-friend (26F) is spreading about me?

Background: I was in a sorority in college, where I met the ex-friend in question (I'll call her Kate for clarity's sake). Kate and I were super close for a while (Kate was my big sister in the sorority), but our friendship went very sour and we haven't seen or spoken to each other since I graduated about five years ago.

During those five years, I moved to South Korea, met someone, and got married. We lived in SK for three years before returning to the US. My husband is military, so we don't have a lot of control over where we go. We ended up at a base we didn't like, so my husband volunteered to go back to SK and try to get a different base upon returning to the US. We decided it would be better for him to go alone for a year, rather than me and our daughter go with him and potentially spend longer. When my husband left, my daughter and I moved to my hometown to be closer to my parents. This allowed me to go to a recent sorority reunion. I was excited to see friends I haven't seen in person for several years.

At some point during the night, a friend told me that Kate was telling people I had cheated on my husband, gotten divorced, and then had to move back home because I was too broke to do anything else. And that there was a very good chance that my daughter was the product of the cheating, and not my husband's biological child. (I'll note here that my husband is 3/4 black, 1/4 white, and I am white. Our daughter, while light skinned, is obviously mixed race, and is an infant, so she looks like, well, an infant.) Obviously, these are all lies.

I had no expectations of being back on good terms with Kate, but I figured she had put our petty college drama behind us and could move on and just politely ignore each other like normal adults. The lies kind of blindsided me. While the people closest to me know that they are lies and are working to stop their spread, I've had multiple messages from sisters either giving me shit for "cheating" and berating me for "smudging (sorority's) reputation" or offering baby supplies for my daughter.

TL;DR: Psycho ex-college friend is spreading lies to our sorority about me. Some people actually seem to believe her. What do I do?



Submitted July 04, 2019 at 11:44PM

Background: I was in a sorority in college, where I met the ex-friend in question (I'll call her Kate for clarity's sake). Kate and I were super close for a while (Kate was my big sister in the sorority), but our friendship went very sour and we haven't seen or spoken to each other since I graduated about five years ago.During those five years, I moved to South Korea, met someone, and got married. We lived in SK for three years before returning to the US. My husband is military, so we don't have a lot of control over where we go. We ended up at a base we didn't like, so my husband volunteered to go back to SK and try to get a different base upon returning to the US. We decided it would be better for him to go alone for a year, rather than me and our daughter go with him and potentially spend longer. When my husband left, my daughter and I moved to my hometown to be closer to my parents. This allowed me to go to a recent sorority reunion. I was excited to see friends I haven't seen in person for several years.At some point during the night, a friend told me that Kate was telling people I had cheated on my husband, gotten divorced, and then had to move back home because I was too broke to do anything else. And that there was a very good chance that my daughter was the product of the cheating, and not my husband's biological child. (I'll note here that my husband is 3/4 black, 1/4 white, and I am white. Our daughter, while light skinned, is obviously mixed race, and is an infant, so she looks like, well, an infant.) Obviously, these are all lies.I had no expectations of being back on good terms with Kate, but I figured she had put our petty college drama behind us and could move on and just politely ignore each other like normal adults. The lies kind of blindsided me. While the people closest to me know that they are lies and are working to stop their spread, I've had multiple messages from sisters either giving me shit for "cheating" and berating me for "smudging (sorority's) reputation" or offering baby supplies for my daughter.TL;DR: Psycho ex-college friend is spreading lies to our sorority about me. Some people actually seem to believe her. What do I do?
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