Struggling with my(22f) boyfriends(22m) depression

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. He confided in me very early on in the relationship that he's struggled with severe depression in the past and sought therapy and the like to overcome it, but he sometimes still goes through a depressive cycle every now and again.

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I have never dealt with mental illness myself (and consider myself very lucky for that). When he enters these depressive cycles, the only thing i know how to do is to support him, let him vent, and try to remain as positive as possible. Recently, he doesn't seem to be coming out of these cycles as well and what I've done in the past to help is not cutting it anymore. I keep telling him that he needs to help me help him and have suggested seeking therapy again.

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He seems to be in such a horrible state recently that all of these attempts to help are being met with negativity and anger. Every time I try to talk to him about concerns or potential solutions, he believes I'm blaming him for everything thats happening and distances himself from me. He thinks he is truly alone in the world and wants nothing more than to run away somewhere new.

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I'm not the expert at helping someone you love deal with depression. This is where I need some advice I suppose. Does he no longer want my attempts at help? Are the things I'm doing making it worse? Maybe someone who has been in a similar situation, on either side, can offer some insight.

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TL;DR: As someone who has never struggled with mental illness, how do i best support a loved one's struggle with depression when they've become less open to it?



Submitted June 27, 2019 at 11:53PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. He confided in me very early on in the relationship that he's struggled with severe depression in the past and sought therapy and the like to overcome it, but he sometimes still goes through a depressive cycle every now and again.​I have never dealt with mental illness myself (and consider myself very lucky for that). When he enters these depressive cycles, the only thing i know how to do is to support him, let him vent, and try to remain as positive as possible. Recently, he doesn't seem to be coming out of these cycles as well and what I've done in the past to help is not cutting it anymore. I keep telling him that he needs to help me help him and have suggested seeking therapy again.​He seems to be in such a horrible state recently that all of these attempts to help are being met with negativity and anger. Every time I try to talk to him about concerns or potential solutions, he believes I'm blaming him for everything thats happening and distances himself from me. He thinks he is truly alone in the world and wants nothing more than to run away somewhere new.​I'm not the expert at helping someone you love deal with depression. This is where I need some advice I suppose. Does he no longer want my attempts at help? Are the things I'm doing making it worse? Maybe someone who has been in a similar situation, on either side, can offer some insight.​TL;DR: As someone who has never struggled with mental illness, how do i best support a loved one's struggle with depression when they've become less open to it?
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