My (25F) friend (25F) is making my brother (24M) uncomfortable

Hello, I wanted some advice for how to best address this situation.

Some background, I had a housewarming party about a week ago where I invited a lot of my friends as well as my younger brother. He’s my best friend and he just moved into my city so he came and helped set up before the party. My friend also came a little early before the party started, and so it was a few of us hanging out before more people showed up.

Immediately I knew she was flirting with him, it was fairly obvious. And I love my friend, I do, but she does not know how to flirt well. It is very “high school.” She was giggling, flipping her hair, and talking about how he must be “so strong” because he was in the military. I was mortified for her and him, and I had no idea what to do. I ended up greeting more people who showed up, but I silently checked with my bro that he was ok, he gave me that head nod that everything was fine.

I came back and he was then outside by the grill and my friend was in the living room sitting by herself, I checked in with her a few times but she said she was fine and I wasn’t going to force it and I got swept up in other conversations/hosting stuff.

Anyways, my bro came over for dinner recently and we were just talking and he mentioned that she asked for his number. He gave it to her, and apparently she’s been texting him nonstop trying to be flirty, or asking him how his day is going, what he’s doing, plans/dates they could do, all that kind of stuff. And he also explicitly told her he wasn’t interested in her romantically after she asked him if we wanted to go to dinner. She keeps texting him and being flirty, almost acting like him rejecting her didn’t happen, and so now he’s just ignoring her texts.

I feel awful about this, my bro has already told her he’s not interested. She’s also really naive to dating and what men are like, she’s created an image of her perfect guy and she’s never dated so I think that’s contributing to her fixating on my brother? I don’t know, I feel terrible analyzing it like this, but I’m trying to figure out why she’s behaving like this when normally she’s exceptionally shy and awkward around men and now she’s texting him about how her and my bro should go away for a weekend (???).

It’s super weird to say the least, but now I guess my questions are how do I go about addressing this with her? My bro kind of asked me to, he had said maybe me saying something would get her to understand he isn’t interested. I don’t want to embarrass her or hurt her feelings, but I don’t want my brother to be uncomfortable by her interactions. And I also understand if it was a man doing this to a woman it would have been dealt with immediately and it would be creepy/stalkerish as hell. How should I talk to her about how she’s acting and how my brother has told her he isn’t interested?

Thanks in advance for any advice

TLDR: my friend is texting/flirting with my younger brother, even after he told her he’s not interested, and it’s making him uncomfortable. How do I go about talking to her about it?

Submitted June 27, 2019 at 11:49PM

Hello, I wanted some advice for how to best address this situation.Some background, I had a housewarming party about a week ago where I invited a lot of my friends as well as my younger brother. He’s my best friend and he just moved into my city so he came and helped set up before the party. My friend also came a little early before the party started, and so it was a few of us hanging out before more people showed up.Immediately I knew she was flirting with him, it was fairly obvious. And I love my friend, I do, but she does not know how to flirt well. It is very “high school.” She was giggling, flipping her hair, and talking about how he must be “so strong” because he was in the military. I was mortified for her and him, and I had no idea what to do. I ended up greeting more people who showed up, but I silently checked with my bro that he was ok, he gave me that head nod that everything was fine.I came back and he was then outside by the grill and my friend was in the living room sitting by herself, I checked in with her a few times but she said she was fine and I wasn’t going to force it and I got swept up in other conversations/hosting stuff.Anyways, my bro came over for dinner recently and we were just talking and he mentioned that she asked for his number. He gave it to her, and apparently she’s been texting him nonstop trying to be flirty, or asking him how his day is going, what he’s doing, plans/dates they could do, all that kind of stuff. And he also explicitly told her he wasn’t interested in her romantically after she asked him if we wanted to go to dinner. She keeps texting him and being flirty, almost acting like him rejecting her didn’t happen, and so now he’s just ignoring her texts.I feel awful about this, my bro has already told her he’s not interested. She’s also really naive to dating and what men are like, she’s created an image of her perfect guy and she’s never dated so I think that’s contributing to her fixating on my brother? I don’t know, I feel terrible analyzing it like this, but I’m trying to figure out why she’s behaving like this when normally she’s exceptionally shy and awkward around men and now she’s texting him about how her and my bro should go away for a weekend (???).It’s super weird to say the least, but now I guess my questions are how do I go about addressing this with her? My bro kind of asked me to, he had said maybe me saying something would get her to understand he isn’t interested. I don’t want to embarrass her or hurt her feelings, but I don’t want my brother to be uncomfortable by her interactions. And I also understand if it was a man doing this to a woman it would have been dealt with immediately and it would be creepy/stalkerish as hell. How should I talk to her about how she’s acting and how my brother has told her he isn’t interested?Thanks in advance for any adviceTLDR: my friend is texting/flirting with my younger brother, even after he told her he’s not interested, and it’s making him uncomfortable. How do I go about talking to her about it?