Am I crazy ?

I’m really trouble by something and I think I really need others’ opinion on it. The fact is that I can’t stop thinking about a girl. At first sight, it doesn’t seem like an issue. However one year has passed since I think strongly about her. And it’s not the only issues, because I don’t know her and she’s married.

Two year ago, I read an article about her. She managed to be elected and, as someone interested in politics, I think I admire her (and maybe power is sexy, don’t know). The fact is when I looked at her I clearly fell in love with her physique. She’s not amazing : most of her pictures aren’t that good. However on some of them she was definitely beautiful and I think I give a face to what attract me in a woman. She has beautiful blue eyes, a great smile, she’s mostly thin, elegant, charming. Girls of my age generally have no charm : they dressed badly and look like little girls or mean girls. Generally politicians aren’t young and I’m more interested in older women, but here there was a young woman, still older than me (thus probably mature), with a physique between teenager and woman. Therefore I thought she was probably available to me, while being special.

Thus she became one of my fantasies. I was attracted by her, like I could be by other women. Nevertheless she was definitely one of the youngest, while being 6 years older than me.

During that time, I was in a difficult formation where I got bad marks. I wasn’t that good in my life and I was failing after being so successful. But this girl was successful and I maybe needed a way to escape my daily issues. I read some other stuff about her and I was surprised. We had a lot in common : she was shy (I’m introvert), generous, loving animals, walking in the nature, tech and with similar political opinions. Then I instantly got infatuated. The sexual desire also became a love desire.

Really it was the first time I fell that. Before I imagined some love stuff, but it was really fictional. I’ve never identified myself as a part of these dreams. It was just dreams that teenagers do. Besides I was mostly special in that topic. I have no social issues, but I’ve never felt at my place. While people of my age were enjoying parties, watching girls of my age and hanging out with her, I was imagining myself with an older, mature and smart woman just to have physical relationship. Love wasn’t interesting me, such as watching young girls’ ass or boobs.

To get back to my new desire, I was discovering and understanding love. I thought I was really crazy at that time, so I kept it for myself (as many things) thinking it’s temporary. Nevertheless it never stopped. During my holidays, I decided to write her something. I was pretty satisfied with what I wrote, so I decided to talk about it with relatives. Most of them were surprised. Some of them said that after all that time not knowing what girls attract me, they have an example. However I saw that they kinda make fun of me. Nevertheless I didn’t care : it’s not weirder than asking for a number or using dating apps.

Then I decided to send her what I wrote. The result is that she didn’t answer. Her assistant did and it was kinda humiliating. I would never know if she read it, if she found it ridiculous, but I think she would probably have thought that.

Despite this event and the fact I found her some flaws, I was still thinking about cuddling her, kissing her, talking with her all night. I was in love with a ghost and my new issues just made me wanted to try another time. People around me wasn’t encouraging me, but I tried to find another way. Until I saw this picture : she had a fucking ring, from the beginning, despite a website saying she was single.

Today I’m ashamed. People make fun of me, think I’m just cute, etc... but what hurts me the most is the fact I can’t stop thinking about her. When I think she’s leaving and I’m going to think about someone else, she comes back.

My issues are disappearing recently, I can get relax, but she’s still here. People don’t understand me and think I should try with girls. However they don’t know that I think about her, I compare all the girls to her, both physically and intellectually. People tell me to relax, try with anybody, but knowing what true love could look like is making me impossible to imagine something else. Besides, even if people like to tell me I could attract so many girls (tall, thin, blue eyes, nice, romantic, smart, wise, mature, funny, ...) if I wasn’t that difficult, the reality is that I think I don’t. I would have known it if it was the case.

Really I don’t know what to do. I sometimes imagine that she could break up with her husband and that I could have a chance (clearly the easiest solution lol). However I sometimes remember that I don’t know her, I’ve never talked to her, but I feel like she could understands me and fall in love with me, which is crazy.

Submitted June 27, 2019 at 11:19PM

I’m really trouble by something and I think I really need others’ opinion on it. The fact is that I can’t stop thinking about a girl. At first sight, it doesn’t seem like an issue. However one year has passed since I think strongly about her. And it’s not the only issues, because I don’t know her and she’s married.Two year ago, I read an article about her. She managed to be elected and, as someone interested in politics, I think I admire her (and maybe power is sexy, don’t know). The fact is when I looked at her I clearly fell in love with her physique. She’s not amazing : most of her pictures aren’t that good. However on some of them she was definitely beautiful and I think I give a face to what attract me in a woman. She has beautiful blue eyes, a great smile, she’s mostly thin, elegant, charming. Girls of my age generally have no charm : they dressed badly and look like little girls or mean girls. Generally politicians aren’t young and I’m more interested in older women, but here there was a young woman, still older than me (thus probably mature), with a physique between teenager and woman. Therefore I thought she was probably available to me, while being special.Thus she became one of my fantasies. I was attracted by her, like I could be by other women. Nevertheless she was definitely one of the youngest, while being 6 years older than me.During that time, I was in a difficult formation where I got bad marks. I wasn’t that good in my life and I was failing after being so successful. But this girl was successful and I maybe needed a way to escape my daily issues. I read some other stuff about her and I was surprised. We had a lot in common : she was shy (I’m introvert), generous, loving animals, walking in the nature, tech and with similar political opinions. Then I instantly got infatuated. The sexual desire also became a love desire.Really it was the first time I fell that. Before I imagined some love stuff, but it was really fictional. I’ve never identified myself as a part of these dreams. It was just dreams that teenagers do. Besides I was mostly special in that topic. I have no social issues, but I’ve never felt at my place. While people of my age were enjoying parties, watching girls of my age and hanging out with her, I was imagining myself with an older, mature and smart woman just to have physical relationship. Love wasn’t interesting me, such as watching young girls’ ass or boobs.To get back to my new desire, I was discovering and understanding love. I thought I was really crazy at that time, so I kept it for myself (as many things) thinking it’s temporary. Nevertheless it never stopped. During my holidays, I decided to write her something. I was pretty satisfied with what I wrote, so I decided to talk about it with relatives. Most of them were surprised. Some of them said that after all that time not knowing what girls attract me, they have an example. However I saw that they kinda make fun of me. Nevertheless I didn’t care : it’s not weirder than asking for a number or using dating apps.Then I decided to send her what I wrote. The result is that she didn’t answer. Her assistant did and it was kinda humiliating. I would never know if she read it, if she found it ridiculous, but I think she would probably have thought that.Despite this event and the fact I found her some flaws, I was still thinking about cuddling her, kissing her, talking with her all night. I was in love with a ghost and my new issues just made me wanted to try another time. People around me wasn’t encouraging me, but I tried to find another way. Until I saw this picture : she had a fucking ring, from the beginning, despite a website saying she was single.Today I’m ashamed. People make fun of me, think I’m just cute, etc... but what hurts me the most is the fact I can’t stop thinking about her. When I think she’s leaving and I’m going to think about someone else, she comes back.My issues are disappearing recently, I can get relax, but she’s still here. People don’t understand me and think I should try with girls. However they don’t know that I think about her, I compare all the girls to her, both physically and intellectually. People tell me to relax, try with anybody, but knowing what true love could look like is making me impossible to imagine something else. Besides, even if people like to tell me I could attract so many girls (tall, thin, blue eyes, nice, romantic, smart, wise, mature, funny, ...) if I wasn’t that difficult, the reality is that I think I don’t. I would have known it if it was the case.Really I don’t know what to do. I sometimes imagine that she could break up with her husband and that I could have a chance (clearly the easiest solution lol). However I sometimes remember that I don’t know her, I’ve never talked to her, but I feel like she could understands me and fall in love with me, which is crazy.