I (24F) don't know what to do about my step dad (50s).

Hello! TLDR will be at the bottom.

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So, my step dad has been around most of my life. Him and my mom met when I was three. When I was younger, it was fine, however we no longer even co-exist anymore. I have to spend more and more time away from home because being around him and feeling unsafe is becoming more and more common. I also have had a lot of feelings come up lately about him and as a result, am in the process of finding a psychologist. My previous psychologist shut down her practice.

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A memory came up recently and it triggered a very different mindset about my home situation. My mom stayed with someone who she thought would hit me. She would never let him do it (one time he just about elevated, but she stepped in), but knowing that she chose to stay with him even with the risk kind of puts a damper on our relationship. I have been thinking about this a lot lately.

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His treatment of me has been pretty abysmal. When my sister (his daughter) was born, it was like a switch. There have been small things, like him telling her she's his favourite while I was in the house, and to not be like me when she grows up. He never says stuff like this in front of my mom. Sometimes he uses me as ammunition when they get into fights and says things like "Why don't you ask YOUR daughter?". The last part is the comments he makes directly to me. What he says in front of her is usually along the lines of "What were you doing, whoring yourself?" and "What did you get up to last night slut". My mom never says anything when he says these things, but it's made it very hard to be around the house. I feel he's just counting down the days until I'm done school so I can move out. I feel like I'm just messing up his family. My mom has never said anything, but when I talk about it, she doesn't really acknowledge it.

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Now. I know a big that will come up is that I can move out since I'm an adult. And I will be, come September. My second year of school is at a remote location, and chances are I will really need the financial support from my mom. However, until then I need to survive and try to save money while living at my mom's for free.

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TLDR: My step dad verbally abuses me in front of my mom and I can no longer be at home because I feel so unsafe. Mom won't step in, and moving out isn't an option until September.

Submitted June 27, 2019 at 11:47PM

Hello! TLDR will be at the bottom.​So, my step dad has been around most of my life. Him and my mom met when I was three. When I was younger, it was fine, however we no longer even co-exist anymore. I have to spend more and more time away from home because being around him and feeling unsafe is becoming more and more common. I also have had a lot of feelings come up lately about him and as a result, am in the process of finding a psychologist. My previous psychologist shut down her practice.​A memory came up recently and it triggered a very different mindset about my home situation. My mom stayed with someone who she thought would hit me. She would never let him do it (one time he just about elevated, but she stepped in), but knowing that she chose to stay with him even with the risk kind of puts a damper on our relationship. I have been thinking about this a lot lately.​His treatment of me has been pretty abysmal. When my sister (his daughter) was born, it was like a switch. There have been small things, like him telling her she's his favourite while I was in the house, and to not be like me when she grows up. He never says stuff like this in front of my mom. Sometimes he uses me as ammunition when they get into fights and says things like "Why don't you ask YOUR daughter?". The last part is the comments he makes directly to me. What he says in front of her is usually along the lines of "What were you doing, whoring yourself?" and "What did you get up to last night slut". My mom never says anything when he says these things, but it's made it very hard to be around the house. I feel he's just counting down the days until I'm done school so I can move out. I feel like I'm just messing up his family. My mom has never said anything, but when I talk about it, she doesn't really acknowledge it.​Now. I know a big that will come up is that I can move out since I'm an adult. And I will be, come September. My second year of school is at a remote location, and chances are I will really need the financial support from my mom. However, until then I need to survive and try to save money while living at my mom's for free.​TLDR: My step dad verbally abuses me in front of my mom and I can no longer be at home because I feel so unsafe. Mom won't step in, and moving out isn't an option until September.