My husband wants me to pay him rent

Hi everyone, I apologize for the long post. TLDR at the end.

My husband and I have been married for just about 4 months. A couple weeks before we got married he accepted a position which required us to move. We moved to our previous location because of a job I took, so it's only fair that we move on when he has an opportunity. Luckily my work has allowed me to work remotely.

His job provides optional housing (on-site, he does farm related work). The house is a four bedroom, 1970s mobile home that isn't in the greatest shape. However, we don't have to pay for anything, so it's great. We don't pay rent, electricity, refuse, internet, and his employer is even letting us buy gas for our vehicles with the company credit card (this place is a ways out of town). This is a great opportunity for us to save money while he gets good work experience in his field.

We had an argument the other day about money. We each have our own personal checking & savings account, but started a joint checking & savings once we married. He was talking to me about how there was a recent overdraft on his personal account of around $300 - he said he only had $30 dollars in his account at the time so he had to use his credit card. I simply asked him if he had his savings set up to auto-transfer when there aren't sufficient funds, and he told me he only had $10 in his savings, that's why he had to use a credit card. I was a little surprised and worried honestly - so I asked him, "Where's all your money?" and he totally flipped.

We are both in debt (student loans, credit cards, vehicle payments, etc.) but he is in significantly more student loan and credit card debt than I am. I know he has to contribute more of his net pay to debt overall, but I didn't realize it was using up all his money as he's claiming. I assumed since he took this job, he would actually be making money for the first time in at least a year (he had trouble finding work in his field where we lived before) and be able to put some toward his personal as well as our joint savings.

He really lays it into me about how I should be paying him rent (and he estimated $500) since the free housing is a perk of his employment, I make more money than him (approx $300 more per month), and he has higher debt payments. He then goes into how the money we were gifted for our wedding ($3000) is basically all his, because it was his grandmother who gave it to us, and my family gave us nothing. He thinks I'm incredibly ungrateful for the free housing and wedding gift, and that I owe him money.

The thing that really ticks me off is I paid our previously $800 rent for a few months, in addition to our internet and electricity every month without the expectation of him "paying me back" - he was unemployed on and off and struggling with his own finances. I didn't hold it over his head even though it was a struggle for me to afford it all, I still made it work.

I just feel like he is being quite unfair in this situation. Should I actually quantify the amount of money I personally paid over the last year for our living expenses and compare them to this "rent" he thinks I owe him? I didn't anticipate we would fight this bad over money, he was really, really upset about the whole situation..

TL;DR: My husband believes I should pay him rent, as free housing is a perk of his employment

Submitted June 03, 2019 at 09:51PM

Hi everyone, I apologize for the long post. TLDR at the end.My husband and I have been married for just about 4 months. A couple weeks before we got married he accepted a position which required us to move. We moved to our previous location because of a job I took, so it's only fair that we move on when he has an opportunity. Luckily my work has allowed me to work remotely.His job provides optional housing (on-site, he does farm related work). The house is a four bedroom, 1970s mobile home that isn't in the greatest shape. However, we don't have to pay for anything, so it's great. We don't pay rent, electricity, refuse, internet, and his employer is even letting us buy gas for our vehicles with the company credit card (this place is a ways out of town). This is a great opportunity for us to save money while he gets good work experience in his field.We had an argument the other day about money. We each have our own personal checking & savings account, but started a joint checking & savings once we married. He was talking to me about how there was a recent overdraft on his personal account of around $300 - he said he only had $30 dollars in his account at the time so he had to use his credit card. I simply asked him if he had his savings set up to auto-transfer when there aren't sufficient funds, and he told me he only had $10 in his savings, that's why he had to use a credit card. I was a little surprised and worried honestly - so I asked him, "Where's all your money?" and he totally flipped.We are both in debt (student loans, credit cards, vehicle payments, etc.) but he is in significantly more student loan and credit card debt than I am. I know he has to contribute more of his net pay to debt overall, but I didn't realize it was using up all his money as he's claiming. I assumed since he took this job, he would actually be making money for the first time in at least a year (he had trouble finding work in his field where we lived before) and be able to put some toward his personal as well as our joint savings.He really lays it into me about how I should be paying him rent (and he estimated $500) since the free housing is a perk of his employment, I make more money than him (approx $300 more per month), and he has higher debt payments. He then goes into how the money we were gifted for our wedding ($3000) is basically all his, because it was his grandmother who gave it to us, and my family gave us nothing. He thinks I'm incredibly ungrateful for the free housing and wedding gift, and that I owe him money.The thing that really ticks me off is I paid our previously $800 rent for a few months, in addition to our internet and electricity every month without the expectation of him "paying me back" - he was unemployed on and off and struggling with his own finances. I didn't hold it over his head even though it was a struggle for me to afford it all, I still made it work.I just feel like he is being quite unfair in this situation. Should I actually quantify the amount of money I personally paid over the last year for our living expenses and compare them to this "rent" he thinks I owe him? I didn't anticipate we would fight this bad over money, he was really, really upset about the whole situation..TL;DR: My husband believes I should pay him rent, as free housing is a perk of his employment