Setting Physical Boundaries after already established fast pace

This guy and I have been dating for 2.5 months. In the beginning we jumped in fast. Slept together on the first date and basically lived together for a month. He was still seeing other people and I found out. Initially hurt but I realised it was early days and we never had the discussion. We acknowledged we went fairly fast and he's stated he wants to explore us and hopes for something more but feels we should take its slowly. While the time together has lessened to take away the intensity and slow it down, the sex aspect hasn't. I've informed him that I've had past dating scenarios where I've been used, and because I'm serious about seeing what happens with us I don't want it to be just about sex. He agrees but the pace for sex is still at the same level as before, which is a lot. For myself I'm at a point in the relationship where I'd like to explore a bit more exclusively and he's aware. He doesn't feel we are there yet and needs more time. I understand the need to take it slow. I've emotionally invested into this and thus sex plays a different and more emotional role now for me. He's also stated he's not seeking out new connections at the moment - which flairs my anxiety because in continuing this dating relationship, I feel the more time you get to know someone you either decide yes to exclusivity or just walk away. I don't want the ball to drop in 2-3 months where he still wants explore us but also date around again. It also makes me anxious thinking that while he's not seeking new dates that there are perhaps still old connections he's seeing. I feel that since he wants to take things slower that there needs to be boundaries around sex and dating other people. While I trust he's not seeking out others he's also not upfront about dating others. And since we've been incredibly physical it's concerning. I'm just concerned of how to address this without putting him off or him feeling like I'm rejecting him. Is it ok to put in boundaries and pull away physically around sex when we've been so fast paced and sexually expressive? Especially if we want to take it slow and figure us out emotional



Submitted August 29, 2021 at 11:56PM

This guy and I have been dating for 2.5 months. In the beginning we jumped in fast. Slept together on the first date and basically lived together for a month. He was still seeing other people and I found out. Initially hurt but I realised it was early days and we never had the discussion. We acknowledged we went fairly fast and he's stated he wants to explore us and hopes for something more but feels we should take its slowly. While the time together has lessened to take away the intensity and slow it down, the sex aspect hasn't. I've informed him that I've had past dating scenarios where I've been used, and because I'm serious about seeing what happens with us I don't want it to be just about sex. He agrees but the pace for sex is still at the same level as before, which is a lot. For myself I'm at a point in the relationship where I'd like to explore a bit more exclusively and he's aware. He doesn't feel we are there yet and needs more time. I understand the need to take it slow. I've emotionally invested into this and thus sex plays a different and more emotional role now for me. He's also stated he's not seeking out new connections at the moment - which flairs my anxiety because in continuing this dating relationship, I feel the more time you get to know someone you either decide yes to exclusivity or just walk away. I don't want the ball to drop in 2-3 months where he still wants explore us but also date around again. It also makes me anxious thinking that while he's not seeking new dates that there are perhaps still old connections he's seeing. I feel that since he wants to take things slower that there needs to be boundaries around sex and dating other people. While I trust he's not seeking out others he's also not upfront about dating others. And since we've been incredibly physical it's concerning. I'm just concerned of how to address this without putting him off or him feeling like I'm rejecting him. Is it ok to put in boundaries and pull away physically around sex when we've been so fast paced and sexually expressive? Especially if we want to take it slow and figure us out emotional
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