Female that cant find male FWB, help.

I’m female (24) and can’t find a hookup (guys). You always hear about how it must be so easy for girls to get a hookup, but for me, it isn't.

I think that I’m relatively pretty, not like a model, but I’d say objectively at least average if not a little above. And it’s not that I don’t get people that like me, I have 100s of people that "like" me across multiple dating apps, and I have a lot of matches too. Some conversations fizzle out faster than others, obviously. And some conversations I can't really even start since otherwise there'd be too many matches to talk to and that has overwhelmed me in the past so I'm trying to avoid that now.

But for me, I want a FWB, emphasis on the “F” part. I don’t care about being actual friends with someone, just someone who is AT LEAST an acquaintance with me, meaning we share at least a small amount of similar interests or can hold a decent conversation, at least for the very first date. Just let me talk to you on the app for a bit to see if I’d like to meet you in-person, then if the in-person meet goes well and I know that the person is normal and nice to talk to, I’ll invite you back to my place for some fun, and from then on I’d be totally available for those “U up?” texts, no more conversation required. Of course if they did want to talk more and be more a friend than acquaintance I'd have no qualms against that.

I don’t think I’m too picky when it comes to guys I swipe on. For me, physical attractiveness is probably in my top 5, but not number one. Having a job that shows education (doctor, PhD student, lawyer) is first. I’m a PhD student, so I want the person I sleep with to be at the bare minimum this level or similar. Tinder is shallow on looks, and while I’m not completely shallow on looks, I think it’s okay to be shallow on education. Education is much more of a turn on for me than a strong jawline. It’s still being shallow though, and I recognize that. Second for me would be similar interests interests, third is proximity, fourth is probably looks. I swipe right on a lot of average looking guys, so I don’t think I’m being physically picky. Anyone with a douche looking photo or too many workout/ab/shirtless pics is an automatic swipe left.

I just want someone who is relatively normal and educated who would be okay with a FWB situation, but a lot of the people I match with are looking for an actual relationship and that is not at all what I want nor am I open to it. So I don’t know what to do, since I strongly feel that all the douchy/shirtless/non-PhD people I swipe left on are the ones who would be dtf but I’m not at all dtf those types of people.

Can someone help me here on any advice, or if I’m being too picky, or recommend any other apps/websites where I might find what I’m looking for? I thought tinder was the classic hookup app but I guess not anymore these days…

P.S. I recognize COVID is a risk. I live by myself and would have the means to quarantine and I am accepting this risk. I wear a mask, I don’t gather in large groups. I’m doing the best I can, as is everyone else right now. Please don’t give me shit for this.

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Tl;dr**:** want FWB, no douches and should have PhD or similar (I'm a PhD student and I'm attracted to education>>>>>>>>>>looks (seriously you can be a actual model and if you've never gone to college it's a left swipe, shallow I know)), most of my matches want a real relationship and I am not interested in that, what do I do/what apps should I use/am I somehow being too picky, help.

Submitted January 01, 2021 at 11:44PM

I’m female (24) and can’t find a hookup (guys). You always hear about how it must be so easy for girls to get a hookup, but for me, it isn't.I think that I’m relatively pretty, not like a model, but I’d say objectively at least average if not a little above. And it’s not that I don’t get people that like me, I have 100s of people that "like" me across multiple dating apps, and I have a lot of matches too. Some conversations fizzle out faster than others, obviously. And some conversations I can't really even start since otherwise there'd be too many matches to talk to and that has overwhelmed me in the past so I'm trying to avoid that now.But for me, I want a FWB, emphasis on the “F” part. I don’t care about being actual friends with someone, just someone who is AT LEAST an acquaintance with me, meaning we share at least a small amount of similar interests or can hold a decent conversation, at least for the very first date. Just let me talk to you on the app for a bit to see if I’d like to meet you in-person, then if the in-person meet goes well and I know that the person is normal and nice to talk to, I’ll invite you back to my place for some fun, and from then on I’d be totally available for those “U up?” texts, no more conversation required. Of course if they did want to talk more and be more a friend than acquaintance I'd have no qualms against that.I don’t think I’m too picky when it comes to guys I swipe on. For me, physical attractiveness is probably in my top 5, but not number one. Having a job that shows education (doctor, PhD student, lawyer) is first. I’m a PhD student, so I want the person I sleep with to be at the bare minimum this level or similar. Tinder is shallow on looks, and while I’m not completely shallow on looks, I think it’s okay to be shallow on education. Education is much more of a turn on for me than a strong jawline. It’s still being shallow though, and I recognize that. Second for me would be similar interests interests, third is proximity, fourth is probably looks. I swipe right on a lot of average looking guys, so I don’t think I’m being physically picky. Anyone with a douche looking photo or too many workout/ab/shirtless pics is an automatic swipe left.I just want someone who is relatively normal and educated who would be okay with a FWB situation, but a lot of the people I match with are looking for an actual relationship and that is not at all what I want nor am I open to it. So I don’t know what to do, since I strongly feel that all the douchy/shirtless/non-PhD people I swipe left on are the ones who would be dtf but I’m not at all dtf those types of people.Can someone help me here on any advice, or if I’m being too picky, or recommend any other apps/websites where I might find what I’m looking for? I thought tinder was the classic hookup app but I guess not anymore these days…P.S. I recognize COVID is a risk. I live by myself and would have the means to quarantine and I am accepting this risk. I wear a mask, I don’t gather in large groups. I’m doing the best I can, as is everyone else right now. Please don’t give me shit for this.​Tl;dr**:** want FWB, no douches and should have PhD or similar (I'm a PhD student and I'm attracted to education>>>>>>>>>>looks (seriously you can be a actual model and if you've never gone to college it's a left swipe, shallow I know)), most of my matches want a real relationship and I am not interested in that, what do I do/what apps should I use/am I somehow being too picky, help.