I [33F] dated my [24M] coworker, who turned out to be a manipulator. Can I keep my job?

This "relationship" started platonic, a 3-month slow burn over the course of working closely together during the pandemic. Recently, we got involved and had a short sexual affair. I developed feelings for him, and suddenly he completely changed - very irritable, critical, and callous. Today we agreed to call it quits, and he insists he wants to preserve our "friendship." I am not looking to win him back. I suspect he has some kind of personality disorder and may be unpredictable. I just need to know how I can navigate working together, as I am afraid he'll try to retaliate somehow and I'd really like to keep this job. I know I fucked up by dating a coworker, but believe me when I say this felt like two completely different people. I wouldn't have gotten involved if I thought he was unstable or cruel in any way. Now I'm freaking out a bit. Any tips for appeasing this sort of person and avoiding some kind of massive blowup?

tl;dr: Dated perfectly nice-seeming coworker after getting to know him over 3 months. Turned out to be a manipulator. How can I avoid a massive blowup and keep my job?



Submitted August 24, 2020 at 12:08AM

This "relationship" started platonic, a 3-month slow burn over the course of working closely together during the pandemic. Recently, we got involved and had a short sexual affair. I developed feelings for him, and suddenly he completely changed - very irritable, critical, and callous. Today we agreed to call it quits, and he insists he wants to preserve our "friendship." I am not looking to win him back. I suspect he has some kind of personality disorder and may be unpredictable. I just need to know how I can navigate working together, as I am afraid he'll try to retaliate somehow and I'd really like to keep this job. I know I fucked up by dating a coworker, but believe me when I say this felt like two completely different people. I wouldn't have gotten involved if I thought he was unstable or cruel in any way. Now I'm freaking out a bit. Any tips for appeasing this sort of person and avoiding some kind of massive blowup?tl;dr: Dated perfectly nice-seeming coworker after getting to know him over 3 months. Turned out to be a manipulator. How can I avoid a massive blowup and keep my job?
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