My (24f) friend’s (34f) ex husband (35m) told her she can’t control her child.... and I kinda agree with him.

I (24f) have a best friend (34f) who I met through school and I love dearly. I consider her one of my closest friends and we get along great. Out of all her great attributes, one flaw is that she has absolutely no control over her child. She is divorced so only has him 50% of the time. I have been around them on multiple occasions- most of the time we go out for activities or out to eat. Her son is 6 and I’m sorry..... but is a total asshole. He’s not a mean kid by any means but he’s just a total shit who doesn’t listen to anyone. When we go to restaurants he will literally get up and run around, play with his food, yell for the waitress, put his feet on the table, talk to other guests. Whenever this happens my friend just laughs it off. She never disciplines him, she thinks it’s so cute. I’m often left so embarrassed in front of our waiter and the other patrons of the restaurant. When we are out at the park or something he will straight up run away. She says things like “now you see what I’m dealing with” and “he’s awful” but never does anything to stop it. I’ve seen him hit her and yell at her and call her names. I don’t have kids so I’ve never said anything about it, but I do have extensive nannying experience and know that sometimes kids thrive when given discipline. Well, the other day my friends ex husband came to pick up their son. They don’t have the best relationship and got into an argument about play dates during isolation (I have no opinion on that issue- I think it’s up to them.) But, when he left, she started venting to me because he mentioned that she “can’t even control her own child.” I honestly didn’t want to lie to her so I just sat there and didn’t say anything. She started asking how she should respond and I didn’t say anything again. She got frustrated and I bet she could tell that I was kinda siding with her ex.... it was extremely awkward after that and I left pretty soon after. How should I move forward in a way that helps the situation?

TLDR: my friends ex called her out for not being able to control their child, from what I’ve seen this is the truth so I “took his side”



Submitted May 04, 2020 at 11:50PM

I (24f) have a best friend (34f) who I met through school and I love dearly. I consider her one of my closest friends and we get along great. Out of all her great attributes, one flaw is that she has absolutely no control over her child. She is divorced so only has him 50% of the time. I have been around them on multiple occasions- most of the time we go out for activities or out to eat. Her son is 6 and I’m sorry..... but is a total asshole. He’s not a mean kid by any means but he’s just a total shit who doesn’t listen to anyone. When we go to restaurants he will literally get up and run around, play with his food, yell for the waitress, put his feet on the table, talk to other guests. Whenever this happens my friend just laughs it off. She never disciplines him, she thinks it’s so cute. I’m often left so embarrassed in front of our waiter and the other patrons of the restaurant. When we are out at the park or something he will straight up run away. She says things like “now you see what I’m dealing with” and “he’s awful” but never does anything to stop it. I’ve seen him hit her and yell at her and call her names. I don’t have kids so I’ve never said anything about it, but I do have extensive nannying experience and know that sometimes kids thrive when given discipline. Well, the other day my friends ex husband came to pick up their son. They don’t have the best relationship and got into an argument about play dates during isolation (I have no opinion on that issue- I think it’s up to them.) But, when he left, she started venting to me because he mentioned that she “can’t even control her own child.” I honestly didn’t want to lie to her so I just sat there and didn’t say anything. She started asking how she should respond and I didn’t say anything again. She got frustrated and I bet she could tell that I was kinda siding with her ex.... it was extremely awkward after that and I left pretty soon after. How should I move forward in a way that helps the situation?TLDR: my friends ex called her out for not being able to control their child, from what I’ve seen this is the truth so I “took his side”
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