Engagement ring or TV...what do I do??

Engagement ring or TV..need some help

This might be a little long, but I want to provide background.

My boyfriend and I (both 30, although I’ll be 31 next month) have been together for 2 years and known each other for 3. A week ago, he asked me to send him the link to the ring I loved so much. It was a full conversation about how much he wanted to marry me and we discussed how to pay for the ring (we live together so we don’t make big purchases without talking to each other). Obviously I was excited, especially because this week I graduate with my RN and it’s also Mother’s Day weekend (I have a 5yo from a previous marriage), so I thought it was finally happening. I don’t bug him about it and have been patiently waiting....so a few days go by and this past weekend he sort of got upset, like crying, because he didn’t feel financing a ring was an option and buying it outright would be possible but would leave our savings with only a few hundred. (The ring is $1500). It was cool, I was disappointed but kept it to myself...I’m not trying to make him feel worse. I even suggested alternatives if it wasn’t something he wanted to wait for, like get a ring I could wear on my right hand once we can afford THE ring. Fast forward to today. Now, I very very rarely buy lottery scratch offs, but I had a few dollars in cash so figured why not. I won $500! Obviously my first thought was the ring. So I texted my boyfriend, and he was really excited too (who wouldn’t be...). I didn’t say anything about a ring because I’m not trying to pressure anything and figured as upset as he was this weekend that it would be his first thought too. I told him I was going to leave the ticket for him on the counter and that I wanted him to put the money in his account (obviously so he could get the ring or at least be closer to it)...excuse my language but this fucker starts sending me links to $900 TVs. Granted, a few days ago he was talking about wanting a new TV, which I figured like $400ish so I was like “yea that’s cool”. Am I wrong for being pretty hurt? I mean, I was cool with $400ish for a TV since we couldn’t get a ring right now. But now with the scratch off, there’s almost enough. We actually have $3,000 saved, so there’s enough anyway but still. Ugh. I just feel really hurt. Now he’s talking about $900 TVs (before tax) and no mention of a ring at all. He even said he was on the fence about a TV the other day but when I won all that money, he figured it was a sign he should go for it.

Typing all this out makes me feel dumb. Surely I can see that he’s not at all serious about proposing. What do y’all think? Should I tell him how let down I’m feeling? If so, what do I even say without sounding like I just want a ring? I’ve said over and over I don’t care about a fancy ring, that I just want his name and to be his wife. I don’t know. Please help.

TL;DR: Boyfriend told me he wanted to buy a ring and propose. Money didn’t work out as thought. Won $500 on scratch off. Now he’s looking at $900 TVs. Got my hopes up and feeling really let down.

Submitted May 05, 2020 at 12:13AM

Engagement ring or TV..need some helpThis might be a little long, but I want to provide background.My boyfriend and I (both 30, although I’ll be 31 next month) have been together for 2 years and known each other for 3. A week ago, he asked me to send him the link to the ring I loved so much. It was a full conversation about how much he wanted to marry me and we discussed how to pay for the ring (we live together so we don’t make big purchases without talking to each other). Obviously I was excited, especially because this week I graduate with my RN and it’s also Mother’s Day weekend (I have a 5yo from a previous marriage), so I thought it was finally happening. I don’t bug him about it and have been patiently waiting....so a few days go by and this past weekend he sort of got upset, like crying, because he didn’t feel financing a ring was an option and buying it outright would be possible but would leave our savings with only a few hundred. (The ring is $1500). It was cool, I was disappointed but kept it to myself...I’m not trying to make him feel worse. I even suggested alternatives if it wasn’t something he wanted to wait for, like get a ring I could wear on my right hand once we can afford THE ring. Fast forward to today. Now, I very very rarely buy lottery scratch offs, but I had a few dollars in cash so figured why not. I won $500! Obviously my first thought was the ring. So I texted my boyfriend, and he was really excited too (who wouldn’t be...). I didn’t say anything about a ring because I’m not trying to pressure anything and figured as upset as he was this weekend that it would be his first thought too. I told him I was going to leave the ticket for him on the counter and that I wanted him to put the money in his account (obviously so he could get the ring or at least be closer to it)...excuse my language but this fucker starts sending me links to $900 TVs. Granted, a few days ago he was talking about wanting a new TV, which I figured like $400ish so I was like “yea that’s cool”. Am I wrong for being pretty hurt? I mean, I was cool with $400ish for a TV since we couldn’t get a ring right now. But now with the scratch off, there’s almost enough. We actually have $3,000 saved, so there’s enough anyway but still. Ugh. I just feel really hurt. Now he’s talking about $900 TVs (before tax) and no mention of a ring at all. He even said he was on the fence about a TV the other day but when I won all that money, he figured it was a sign he should go for it.Typing all this out makes me feel dumb. Surely I can see that he’s not at all serious about proposing. What do y’all think? Should I tell him how let down I’m feeling? If so, what do I even say without sounding like I just want a ring? I’ve said over and over I don’t care about a fancy ring, that I just want his name and to be his wife. I don’t know. Please help.TL;DR: Boyfriend told me he wanted to buy a ring and propose. Money didn’t work out as thought. Won $500 on scratch off. Now he’s looking at $900 TVs. Got my hopes up and feeling really let down.